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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

I'm at Half Mast

I always thought that the Chinese New Year was supposed to be a happy, joyous occasion. The welcoming of the year of the dragon, when it's good to have a chicken close to your skin. But alas, there can be no joy today, as this Chinese year will be marred with the sadness of the Kyle Farnsworth trade.

I just want to make a list of all the things I'll miss about the Farns. Feel free to add whatever you have to say, I know this is a traumatic time for us all.

1. The tightest pants in baseball. I swear they were painted on sometime, and they were always good for at least one joke per game, if not three or four. In fact, they were my favorite Cubs phenomenon since Alfonseco took his sixth finger out of town.

2. Hope for the future. Even though he consistently was awful, the Cubs always had their future closer. Now they appear to be set up with Joe "The Polish Shotgun" Borowski forever. My new hope for the future is that his unsigned jersey will remain framed and proudly hanging behind the bar at Tai's Til Four.

3. The heat. I mean seriously, he could throw really fast. Sure it may not have had movement, and it may have been right over the middle of the plate...but man was it fast.

4. The hoots and hollers from the drunken women at Wrigley. When A-Gonz got traded, most of the girls I knew made a fairly smooth transition into love for the Farns. Now who are they going to turn to? (Side note: One of my friends once called him sleazy and I loved it.)

5. Last year at family day, his baby's momma was strutting a lot of stuff on the field. While I was sad I went two hours early and didn't get to enjoy batting practice, she helped make me feel a little bit better.

6. The shell necklace that reminded me of being 19 and on spring break again.

7. The tackle.

But most of all, I just miss the Farns.



I was only able to see The Farns once in action and that was Friday Aug 27, against a charging Houston Astros. Score was 9-6 going into the ninth, where Farns got the nod. . .and I wish I was kidding his line that day was one complete inning where he gave up six runs, on six hits, all of them earned.
And while walking off the field Kyle best pitch of the day was him throwing his glove into the seats.

One thing: his wife was smoking hot. That mormon boy dun gooooood.


We'll need to get confirmation on this, but as far as I know that is not his "wife." I don't believe he's made an honest woman of her.

And earlier I was trying to leave religion out of the post, but yes the Farns is my favorite Morman ball player.

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