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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Congrats White Sox

Although down the stretch neither team wanted it. I guess you wanted it a little less than the Twins.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The Tunnel Walk: Vol II, Issue III: Virginia Tech, Yo.

Welcome back, sports fans. We know you've missed Tunnel Walk. Tunnel Walk has missed you too, baby. But now Tunnel Walk is back and promises never to leave your side again. It's just that Tunnel Walk gets so scared when there's no football. And a scared Tunnel Walk is a dangerous Tunnel Walk.

So NU finds itself facing the vaunted VaTech Hokies. What's a Hokie? Don't feel embarassed, only Tunnel Walk and Jim Druckenmiller knew before this week. A Hokie is simply a loyal Virginia Tech fan. It comes from a cheer created in 1896 when Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College changed its name to Virginia Polytechnic Institute. So where does the turkey come from? The HokieBird is based on the nickname "the gobblers" granted in 1908. There are many theories as to where this came from. One is that the football team would respond to a crowd cheer by gobbling. Another is that an observer commented that the team "gobbled" their post-game meal. One theory held by some Tunnel Walkers is that Tech football team gobbles something else. Hey yo! Zing!

Top 5 Ways to Tell it is a Big Game in Memorial Stadium

1. Even the people with oxygen tanks stand up occasionally
2. You are so close to the person sitting next to you, you could inadvertently conceive a child
3. Clapping is so out-of-sync it becomes in-sync
4. Coach Ekeler kills scout team linebacker in pre-game revelry
5. Tom Osborne clips coupons, reads Nicholas Sparks novel, makes Cream of Wheat, eats Cream of Wheat, sips hot tea, levitates

The Recruit Files:

Already Committed: Cody Green, QB. 6-4, 220lbs, Dayton, TX. Already the bell cow of the class, Green seems to be the epitome of the Balanced QB if we were playing NCAA 09. A converted RB (he wore the #21 jersey before switching to a more quarterbackly #7), Green can burn you with his feet. However, it's Watson's "multiple" offense that Green is being groomed to run so you know Green must be quick with the draw. Green will graduate in December and presumably be in Lincoln in time for Spring ball. Pat Witt did that a couple of years back and it hasn't hurt him any. Rivals rates Green as the 10th best dual-threat QB (4*) and Scout has him as their 5th overall QB and gives him 5 stars. He seems like a good kid who should have a bright future with the Cornhuskers, but so did Josh Freeman, and Harrison Beck, and Curt Dukes, and Allan Evridge, and Carlyle Holiday, and Carl Crawford.

Wishlister: Gabe Lynn, CB. 6-1, 180lbs, Tulsa (Jenks), OK. Gabe Lynn has been on the sidelines of more Nebraska games in the past two years than any of us...ever. Gabe Lynn is also Phillard's half-brother. Gabe Lynn is a top-5 corner for the class of 09. The first two items on the list combined with number 3 equals a spot on this week's Wishlist. Lynn has stated that he wants to see playing time quickly and despite the logjam of young corners for NU, the Tunnel Walk believes Lynn has the talent to see playing time as a true freshman. That said, with this staff's restraint burning unnecessary redshirts (see: Compton, Will; Steinkuhler, Baker), anything can happen. Despite having somewhere in the range of 50 scholarship offers, the race for Lynn's signature on Signing Day really comes down to Nebraska and Oklahoma with OU in the lead. All along, Lynn has played the role of the uninterested when it comes to NU. This could either mean that he doesn't want his relationship with Phillard to block other schools from recruiting him or it could simply mean he just isn't that into NU.

Top 5 Pies of the Fall

1. Pumpkin
2. Baked peach (this is due to the delicious late-season Colorado peaches)
3. Pecan
4. Sour cream and raisin
5. Humble (which may come in the form of Missouri, Oklahoma, or both)

A Look Back at Excitednesses and Concerns

Dan Titchener. Tunnel Walk wanted him to be better than he has been. Averaging 38.6 yards per punt, Dan the Man only has to add about 8 yards to each of his boots in order to match the single season record. You can do it!
Bo Pelini. He's still undefeated as head coach of the University of Nebraska.
Khiry Cooper. Well, he's still on the team.
Walk-Ons. Unless you're related, you're a big, fat liar if you knew what jersey number Lance Thorell wore prior to the NMSU game. Many of his teammates don't even know his first name. Matt O'Hanlon (who was granted an extra year of eligibility earlier this year) and Hunter Teafatiller were each once walk-ons who've since earned scholies and they've done better than expected. Yay!
Ricky Redshirting Henry. Tunnel Walk believes it says volumes about the depth of the offensive line when a player that both coaches and players targeted as an impact player has the ability to utilize a redshirt year. Big ups to you, backup guards.
The Running Back Competition (Yet to be determined?). Tunnel Walk supposes this could go either way. Some will say that to truly establish a ground attack, a team must give it's lead horse enough carries to settle into a rhythm. Others (such as mythological dog Cerberus) say, "Three heads are better than one."
Prognosticators' Optimism. This has nearly gotten out of hand. Not that many expected NU to be anything less than 3-0 entering Saturday's matchup with VaTech., but the amount of sunshine being blown needs to be paused until at least next Sunday.
Lack of DT Depth. What did Tunnel Walk say about Jared Crick? And to be fair, what did Tunnel Walk say about Ndamukong Suh and Ty Steinkuhler? Following a season in which both Suh and Steinkuhler were at best just whelming, each have been auditioning for Guns of the Navarone: The New Class.

Where are You Now, Thunder Collins?
Too soon. Too easy. Too lacking in tact. Let's try this again some other time.

Hello, Option!

Much elation came of the return of the option in the New Mexico State game. This particularly pleased The Tunnel Walk. As a native Nebraskan, The Tunnel Walk loves option football. The Tunnel Walk loves the option so much, we use it as a staple of our NCAA Football ’09 offense, where we recruit scrambling QBs from all over the country to lead us to glory.

Thus, The Tunnel Walk begs Coach Shawn Watson to continue to run the option once or twice a game, because it never fails to make us smile. Sometimes watching a football game is not particularly enjoyable, but that is no fault of the option. That is all.

Get this album immediately:
TV on The Radio, Dear Science. Sure, the regular scenester snarks like Pitchfork and AVClub have given this album a nice tugjob, but Tunnel Walk knows what you the reader is thinking, "Sure Pitchfork gave it a 9.2, but is it actually listenable, Tunnel Walk?" Yes. A resounding mothergrabbing yes. TVOTR's previous release, 2oo6's Return to Cookie Mountain, was one of Tunnel Walk's favorite that year. This time out, TVOTR make a more listenable record throughout. In the day and age of iPods and shuffled playlists, this is a nice reprieve to the days where you could slap on a cd and listen to it the whole way through. The liner notes are super neat, too. The lyric sheet is in the form of a letter. Get it? To Science. You will be tested on this next week.

Match Game
Match the License Plate Number to the Correct Nebraska County

13 Custer
91 Cedar
57 Dawson
4 Arthur
18 Johnson

(Correct answers: 13, Cedar; 91, Arthur; 57, Johnson; 4, Custer; 18, Dawson)

This Week's Dorothy Lynchcapade.

A brief sabattical today from The Tunnel Walk's own uses of the orange yummie to bring you this actual submission to dorothylynch.com:
Chip Dip
Cottege Cheese

Dorothy Lynch Dressing
Tortilla Chips
Add dressing (to taste) to cottege cheese and use as
dip with tortilla chips. Delicious!
Submitted By: Debbie Genn

We at the Tunnel Walk would like to personally thank Debbie Genn for her visionary use of Dorothy Lynch. Tunnel Walk likes all of these ingredients and probably has them in our refrigerator currently. So why haven't we put these together some night after stumbling home from our local taproom? Tunnel Walk says that if some chunky Newman's Own pasta sauce can be used as a late night substitute for salsa, then why not incorporate some of Nebraska's own little bottles of love into your shitty diet.

The Tunnel Walk also plans to contact the Vatican regarding sainthood for Ms. Genn. We will keep you posted.

"You Know Who You Look Like...?" Bye Week Makeup Special Edition

Due to being off the presses for the last month or so, Tunnel Walk decided to feed you hungry mutts a double dose of YKWYLL.

Round 1: Barney Cotton versus Sergeant Slaughter. Buzzcut? Check. Authentically grizzled mustache? Check. Big dude in an authority position? Check. Underrated professional wrestler? Double check. Slaughter has the distinct honor along with William "The Refrigerator" Perry, Rowdy Roddy Piper, and Buzz Aldrin as the only real life personalities immortalized as G.I. Joe figures. Cotton has the distinct honor of currently holding a job.
Round 2: Jeff Jamrog versus Jeff Garlin. This is a bit spooky. One is a fun-loving sidekick to an older graying white man who is seen as one of the best in his field. The other is a fun-loving sidekick to an older graying white man who is seen as one of the best in his field. Man, is Tunnel Walk getting good at this shit or what? Guaranteed if Garlin walked into Memorial Stadium some fatefull Fall Saturday, he would be misrecognized as Jeff Jamrog 18.5 times. Fact: Jeff Garlin began his career performing stand-up comedy as a student at THE UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI in the early 1980s. Fact: Jeff Jamrog began his career performing wind sprints as a student at THE UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA in the early 1980s. This just keeps getting creepier and creepier.
Locks of the Week

NEBRASKA-V Tech Under 45.5
Wisconsin -5.5 over MICHIGAN
N Carolina + 7.5 over MIAMI
PENN ST. -15.5 over Ill

(The Tunnel Walk does not like taking lots of road teams. Caveat Emptor.)

Abbreviated Pete’s NFL Picks

(The Tunnel Walk apologizes on behalf of Pete, but wants to remind all of Pete’s followers that Pete owns it again this year and to recognize)

JAX -7 over Houston
TEN -3 over Minn
CHI +3 over Philly

Half-assed prediction time

Explorers Meriweather Lewis and William Clark, of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, were both natives of Virginia. While they did not begin their transcontinental mission from Virginia (it was actually Pittsburgh), their adventurous spirits surely shine on in the football hearts of the Hokies of Virginia Tech. Some 205 years later, The Hokies now embark westward on a journey, not with orders from Thomas Jefferson but with orders from all of Virginia to return victorious. Their presumed victory will not be maps, fur pelts, and wild tales of rushing rapids, thunderous herds of bison, the frozen peaks of the Rockies seemingly touching the sky, and the grandeur of the vast Pacific Ocean. No, it will simply be the pride of winning a collegiate football game.

It is by keeping in mind what our adversaries are playing for that the mighty Huskers see what challenges beset them on Saturday. Our Gridiron Warriors of the Great Plains should expect a physical football game with contusions and assorted injuries, “Beemer Ball”, and punting. The Tunnel Walk says that Pelini will have his men ready for the clash, and will emerge victorious, thus denying the Hokies the chance to return to the East Coast with exuberant tales of their triumph. In short, history will not repeat itself. After all, Meriweather Lewis died in a Tennessee tavern, while presumably watching a lacrosse match between the Iroquois Nation and Yale.

Nebraska 20, Virginia Tech 13

Enjoy the game. From The Tunnel Walk, Hail Varsity.

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Monday, September 22, 2008

"In Carl We Trust"

This was on KETV last night, and is an absolute must-see for Husker fans. It's hilarious. Matt Schick interviews Carl Pelini, and it is all about how Carl feels bad that all the hype and stories are about "Coach Pelini," and how he thinks that his little brother Bo should get some attention. The best part is the very end of the video.

Also--Matt Schick is hilarious. If anyone has listened to him fill in on Unsportsmanlike Conduct, you know what I'm talking about. And this piece he lined up is just more evidence. The guy definitely needs his own radio show or something. Keep up the good work, Matt.

That goes for Channel 7 in general. They've got solid, young talent on their newscasts, and as evidenced by the Millard tornado episode, seem to be much more on top of things than compared to other broadcasts (*cough* WOWT, *cough*).


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Sunday, September 21, 2008

Encore, Part II

You know what that "E" stands for on Houston's line there? (Click picture to enlarge)


You know what the t-shirts and champagne represent?


Back to back, bitches!

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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Can I Get an Encore?

No. GOD NO. How about the opposite?

Big Z's line following his no hit performance:

1.2 IP 8 ER 6H 3BB

YIKES!!! Too bad he couldn't face a team affected by a hurricane every outing.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Fuck the Euro Trash

So Ryder Cup play started this morning at 7:05 Central Time and the US did the unimaginable by taking an early lead of 3-1 after Foursomes. I can't even remember the last time the US took an early lead. Usually, they fall apart on Friday and Saturday and have to play perfect golf in the singles in order to have a shot. The US hasn't won this thing since 99 when they had the remarkable come-from-behind win at Brookline.

Right now in Fourball, the US is up in one match, tied in another, and down in the other two. I blame this partly on Azinger's dumb-ass desire to play everybody today, particularly that he paired Stricker and Curtis (both rookies). However, the Kim-Mickelson pairing might be the most enjoyable team to watch in the history of US Ryder Cup play (this team took the "Original Mavericks" title away from McCain and Palin).

This weekend's play should be awesome as the teams are pretty equal and the US shouldn't be in as big a hole as we are used to seeing. The crowd in Kentucky is boisterous and keeps cheering every time the Trash make a mistake. I love it. Hopefully, the US prevails, brings the cup back to states, and Sergio cries on air. That would be my perfect Sunday.

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Pete's NFL Picks: Week 3

I'm back. Out of retirement, wearin' the 4-5 like MJ in Madison Square Garden, and I'm ready to help out with everyone's pocketbook.

The decision to take the first two weeks off was done partially out of necessity due to a schedule that has seen the Red Rocket (see above) take more trips up and down I80 than your typical drug mule, but also to sift through the roller-coaster that the NFL can be through the first two weeks of the season.

That's not to say that I haven't found the time to make football wagers, or that the season hasn't been profitable to this point. But a slow immersion seems to be the best approach. Tread lightly. Don't get yourself in a hole when you really get a handle on things.

In many ways, the first two weeks have been like the red rocket. Primarily, they both suck if you're a Cleveland Browns fan. Tip your waitresses.

My divorce letter to Romeo Crennel:

Dear Romeo,

This isn't working anymore. You and me, I mean. Things started off rough, to be sure, with two mediocre seasons. Just when I thought it wasn't going to work out, you swept me off my feet with a 10-6 season and a contract extension. I saw the future, with your talented offense, competent GM and coordinators, and agreed to spend our futures together.

Sure, some of it was physical. With your comedic mustache and bowling ball physique, you quickly won me over. When people would say things like: "Oh my god, Carl Winslow from Family Matters coaches the Browns?" I was there for you.

Now, things can never be the same. Your clock management has never been my favorite attribute of yours, but it's just gotten to the point that you never spend time productively. When you kicked a field-goal down by 21 in the 4th quarter against the Cowboys, I knew things would never change. The very next week, down by 7 with five minutes left, you did the very same thing. You always seem to trust your defense, and you never learn. I don't know if your feelings for Phil Dawson have gotten in the way, and I guess I'll never know. To make things worse, you used all of your timeouts to leave the offense with a mere 26 seconds to get to the end zone. I can't take it anymore.

I'm done, Romeo. I'm leaving. I'm leaving you for the prospects of getting your old enemy, Coach Bill Cowher and his slobbering jaw, to be coach. I wish you all the best as a coordinator somewhere else.



Let's recap what we think we know:

1. Sunday's Dallas-Green Bay game will decide who is the alpha dog in the NFC for the rest of the season.

2. Every team in the NFC East is better than any team in the NFC West.

3. Buffalo and Denver both look like the AFC upstarts, but one of them will likely fall off.

4. New England, San Diego, Pittsburgh and Indy are all playoff-caliber teams, but the separation from the rest of the league is non-existent unlike past years.

5. Tennessee with Vince Young? 8-8. With Kerry Collins? 10-6.

6. The Vikings were all hype, and the Cardinals finally didn't get much and it looks like they deserved more. When you're Super Bowl hopes were riding on a guy that would eventually be replaced with Gus Frerotte after two weeks, you should be fired.

There's probably more, but let's just get on with the picks:

WASHINGTON -3 over Arizona (game of the week)

I'm sure everyone in Arizona is feeling pretty good right now, given the way things are going. What they don't realize is that the Skins rebounded nicely over their opening week disaster and got a solid W over New Orleans last week. Like their namesake, they are leaving Valley Forge and ready to go to war. I always like to look at a team that has played two late games on the West Coast traveling East for an early road game against a good team. I get the feeling that Arizona will look like another team wearing red at the end of this one: the British.

Speaking of George Washington, did you know he was 6'4 and 250 lbs at a time when the average male was like 5 foot, 100? This guy was basically Shaq back then. He is bigger than most NFL linebackers now. Crazy.

Cleveland +1 over BALTIMORE

It might be a homer pick, but this is an absolute must win for the beleaguered Brownies. And let's not kid ourselves, two weeks ago Cleveland would have been favored by 4-7 points. Unlike the previous two games, Joe Flacco isn't going to torch the Browns defense, he can't. But if he does, then fuck me. Seriously.

Cincinnati +13.5 over NY GIANTS

I'm not predicting an upset here, because Cincinnati is fucking terrible, but I refuse to believe that the Giants are going to be really excited for this one and I'm giving Cincy one more chance to put points on the board. I think this number should be in the 7-10 range and I'm gonna roll with it, like Steve Winwood.

GREEN BAY +3 over Dallas

This looks like a trap game, big time. Everyone has seen Dallas in two TV games look amazing, while Green Bay has quietly been doing the same things they did last year. Did you hear they have a new quarterback?

To be sure, this is a premium matchup and the best game of the early season. I can't wait to watch it, and Dallas could win by 20. However, Green Bay has a good secondary and does the things well on offense to beat up on Dallas' defense: zone blocking, pulling linemen, short passing. If you like Green Bay, take a looksy at the under 51 as well, I think they go hand in hand for the check here.

And since we have no Tunnel Walk, how about some quick college plays:

PITT +1 over Iowa (really like this one)

MICH ST -8 over Notre Dame (love this one)

Wyoming +28 over BYU (letdown special)

AUBURN +3 over Lsu (weird line, Steven J. Public will love LSU and get burned)

Georgia -7 over ASU (they need to look good, and they have the talent)

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Six Years Later . . . Bitches

Six years ago I was 42 living with a registered male nurse, two Hispanics, a brother, and a confirmed Methodist. The MIB was in town interviewing with a cell phone company. A few of us went to a football game, our team lost.

Today I live with my girlfriend, she hates me most days but the Mighty Bulldogs will be taking on Belleview West Friday night. The above mentioned Methodist that was married in a Catholic church and I will be at Barry O’s around 5 if you like to join us for cocktails and a football game.

You should come.

Eddie Vedder: "Someday We'll Go All The Way"

Napa, you may want to avert your eyes of this post. And for that matter, if I have posted this here before, I apologize (although I did a few searches and couldn't find anything).

So those things aside, I see that ol' Eddie Vedder has a new song he recently played at a concert in Chicago--"Someday We'll Go All The Way." You can download it here (right click, save link as). The lyrics are below.

This might be one of the coolest things I have seen in a while; it is not too often that you get a legitimately awesome artist to write songs about your favorite team (or any team, for that matter). As for the song itself, it sounds like an old folk protest song--a perfect tone for a defiant Cub fan. Favorite line: "And when the day comes for that last winning run, and I'm crying and covered with beer."

Preach on, Eddie. Preach on.

**UPDATE** Awesome news, from Pearl Jam's website:

"At the request of Ernie Banks, Eddie threw together a song for the Cubs ("All the Way"). He got a pretty good live version of it at the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago this August. It's now being played on Chicago radio and at the Bleacher Bars around Wrigleyville. We have decided to make the song available for download - you can get it here in the next few days. There's a chance we'll also make available some hard copy CDs and we're looking into souvenir 45 singles, as well. Check back here for the latest.
Go, Cubs, go!"

Yeah, don't let them say that it's just a game.
Well, I've seen other teams and it is never the same.
When you go to Chicago, you're blessed and you're healed, The first time you walk into Wrigley Field.
Heroes with pinstripes and heroes in blue, Give us the chance to feel like heroes do.
Whether we'll win and if we should lose, we know Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.

We are one with the Cubs, with the Cubs we're in love.
Hold our heads tall as the underdogs.
We are not fair-weather, but foul-weather fans.
Like brothers in arms, in the suites and the stands.
There's magic in the Ivy and the old scoreboard.
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
In a world full of greed, we could never want more.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.

Here's to the men and the legends we've known.
Giving us faith and giving us hope.
United we stand and united we'll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all.
Yeah Ernie Banks said, "oh, let's play two".
I think he meant two hundred years.
Playing at Wrigley, our diamond, our jewel.
The home of our joy and our fears.
Keeping traditions, and wishes anew,
The place where our grandfathers' fathers they grew.
The spitual feeling if I ever knew.
And when the day comes for that last winning run, and I'm crying and covered with beer.
I look to the sky and know I was right today.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

F*** and Yeah

Two things: It's Always Sunny comes back Thursday, and Nathan Enderle has a 128.77 Quaterback rating.


Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Top 50 Charles Barkley Quotes

Saw this linked on Deadspin today, and it is unbelievably funny.

However, the site that Deadspin linked to straight copied and pasted from a blog that is actually called "Top 50 Charles Barkley Quotes." It is just one post from February with his 50 best quotes. Bullshit move, Black Sports Online. The guy who does this website literally copied and pasted whoever took the time to put that together and posted it on his website. Didn't even try to move the answers around or anything--straight stole it.

Wow, and in the time it took me to post this, Deadspin changed the link to the proper blog. Well done.

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Monday, September 15, 2008


The Astros officially went 15 consecutive innings against the Cubs without getting a hit between last night and this afternoon.


UPDATE: The game is over. Houston managed *one* hit. In two games. Cubs win, 6-1. Ted Lilly gets 9 K's, gives up 1 hit, and 0 ER.

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Sunday, September 14, 2008

Couldn't Happen To A Better Team!

Congrats to Big Z on no-hitting the Astros!

Enjoy some playoff-free baseball, Kyle!

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

Good Lord, We Need Something!

Sorry about the lack of posts. The Heavy Soul Interview #2 is being conducted today, but in the meantime, here's a couple of random links. Not because I thought they were super important or anything, mainly just to post something.

--ESPN.com's Fantasy Basketball Draft Kit. I know, Fantasy Football drafts are barely over. Too bad. Man up and get to studying.

--This is an iTunes link to a segment where Norm MacDonald (filling in for Dennis Miller) is interviewing Super Dave Osborne. This is an absolute must-listen.

--This is funny.

Alright, there's possibly the most half-assed post in the history of the blog, which is saying something. Look for more content later.

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Sunday, September 07, 2008

The Heavy Soul Interview Part II...

...is on it's way. We're looking forward to our next interview, as should you, dear reader.

Look forward to it (hopefully) this week.

In the meantime, who would you like to see us interview? Guesses as to who this week's interview will be?

Leave 'em in the comments...


Friday, September 05, 2008

The Tunnel Walk: Vol. II, Issue II: San Jose State

Sweet Lord, it's already Game Day Eve? These shortened weeks always affect people, even The Tunnel Walk. Thankfully, it is just San Jose State, so we should be able to do this on short notice.

(Wait, you're telling me that San Jose State isn't worried about coming into Lincoln? They're using this to soften their schedule? We should take this seriously? I guess we'll get to this later.)

Ghostbusters: The Husker Edition

This is admittedly just an excuse to geek out about Ghostbusters 3 reportedly being in development (being written by writers for The Office, and starring the original cast plus the Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen crew! Hot damn!), but we thought we could break down the Huskers--thus far--by way of Ghostbuster quotes.

"I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you, Egon. [pulls out candy bar] You... You've earned it." - Dr. Peter Venkman

This honor is bestowed upon running back-turned-linebacker Cody Glenn. Even some commentors on this very blog voiced concern about Glenn actually being a viable candidate to play this year, let alone start. All Big Cody does is come out and contributes 12 tackles and 3 pass break ups to the cause. Yes, it was against Western Michigan. But Glenn, for the most part, looked like the most active and perhaps most athletic player on the field for either team. Here's to hoping the Education of Cody Glenn continues against the Trojans, er, Spartans.

"I feel like the floor of a taxi cab." - Dr. Egon Spangler

The Recruit Files

Already Committed: Dontrayevous "Tray" Robinson, RB. 6-1, 215lbs. Euless (TX) Trinity. Robinson is a big back in the mold of recent Huskers Cody Glenn and Quentin Castille. Oh yeah, he plays on the No. 1 ranked high school team in the nation. Suffice it to say, Tray plays against some decent competition. Robinson, along with his teammate DT Siosaia Tuipulotu, will be visiting Tom Osborne Field at Memorial Stadium as the SJSU Fightin' Dick Tomeys come to town. Robinson scored 2 TDs in his team's opener. He has prototypical size, but probably lacks the home run potential. Very solid commit for the Big Red.

Wishlister: Kraig Appleton, WR. 6-3, 190lbs. East St. Louis (MO) East St. Louis. Ranked by Rivals as its No. 11 WR, Appleton is the type of WR (4-star, St. Louis product) that The Tunnel Walk had hoped current Husker Chris Brooks to be. Appleton still lists all of his suitors, including NU, as Medium interest, but wethinks the Huskers' chances are considerably less than that. Marvin Sanders is the lead recruiter for Appleton. While he isn't mentioned in the same breath for his recruiting prowess as say Tim Beck or Mike Ekeler, it will be interesting to see what Marvin can come up with on Appleton.

Where Are You Now, Clint Finley?

The last time The Tunnel Walk saw Clint Finley in person, it was in the Astronomy 103 Final with Dr. Martin Gaskell. That was also the only time The Tunnel Walk saw Clint Finley in person, at least that close. Originally recruited as an option QB, Finley developed into a more than serviceable safety for the Huskers. In fact, ol' Clint was a four-year letterman from 1997-2000. Hailing from Cuero, Texas (home of the elusive chupacabra), Finley went on to play for the Kansas City Chiefs from 2002-2003, amassing one career tackle. Finley resurfaced with the Dallas Cowboys' practice squad for two months during the summer of 2005. Clint Finley's younger brother, Joe Jon Finley, played collegiately for Oklahoma as a TE and that angered The Tunnel Walk. It could be said that the Fighting Finley Football brothers did alright for themselves, but it could also be argued that these Finley brothers are the most successful Finleys of them all. The Tunnel Walk's extensive research found nothing on the current whereabouts of Clint Finley. We sincerely hope he is in the BBQ business or owns a chain of classy car washes.

"You know who you look like..."
This week it's NU placekicker Alex Henery and the guy from Back to School. Henery went to high school at Omaha's Harry Burke High School. This guy, named Keith Gordon was a high school geek named Arnie in the 1983 Stephen King thriller, Christine. Then, he gets to rock in The Legend of Billie Jean with Christian Slater. And if that's not enough, he rounds out the resume by playing Rodney Dangerfield's son in the classic coming of age tale, Back to School.

Captain Profiles
Speaking of Alex Henery, he gets the special teams nod for captain this week. The Tunnel Walk believes it has something to do with the fact he hit a career-long 44-yard field goal and then duplicated it three more times.
Being named by the coaching staff as the Defensive Player of the Week earned Ty Steinkuhler the nod for this week's captainship. He led an inspired defensive front four with 8 tackles himself while the unit garnered 4 sacks. Keep in mind that the entire Nebraska defensive accumulated 13 all of last year.
All Nate Swift did to earn his C was catch 5 balls for 121 yards and two touchdowns (one of which was a 61-yarder. So much for the lack of a deep threat.). With his efforts against Western Michigan, Swift moved into a tie for second place with Irving Fryar on the all-time 100-yard games list. He is five behind The Jet, so it's not outlandish to see him dethrone Rodgers. Swift needs just three more TD receptions to land at No. 2 on the all-time list and 35 more receptions to take the lead on that list.
Todd Peterson is from Grand Island, Nebraska. He plays wide receiver for Nebraska and is of above average height and athletic ability. This makes him a good choice for captain.

Locks of the Week (YTD 2-1)

Cincinnati +21.5 over OKLAHOMA
Central Michigan +24 over GEORGIA
WAKE FOREST -7 over Ole Miss
KANSAS -20.5 over La Tech

(These picks are dedicated to EZT, who could use some tough love after a dismal performance last week. Let these get you back on the horse, EZT!)

Real or Fake Bars?

1. The Crow Bar, Mason City, NE
2. Sweaty Betty’s, Boelus, NE
3. Nightcrawler’s, Worms, NE
4. The Shady Lady, Stapleton, NE
5. The Catch Pen, Hyannis, NE
6. The Rusty Rooster, Yutan, NE
Answers: 1. Real 2. Fake-The Golden Nugget is in Boelus 3. Real (and awesome) 4. Fake, but used to be real 5. Fake, but that’s what I would name a bar in Hyannis 6. See picture at right

Maybe we can finally answer the question: What is a Hawkeye?

The Tunnel Walk enjoys Chris Fowler’s weekly college football round-up tremendously. This week, Chris discussed five non-conference, neutral-site matchups he would like to see played annually. Among the five was Nebraska-Iowa in Kansas City. The Tunnel Walk finds it extremely appropriate that this subject was tackled during the week our beloved ‘Skers take on San Jose State.

We advocate hopping on this bandwagon immediately. Not only would it give The Tunnel Walk another chance to make fun of our neighbors to the east on an annual basis, it would be a great 2nd week of the season game for presumably the rest of our lives. Now is most likely not the time to get this done, as The Tunnel Walk predicts that Iowa will not only not have a football coach by the end of this season, they may not have a football program at the rate they are going. As it is, though, it’s a natural geographic rivalry with no downside for either program.

All of this fails to consider the extreme coolness of playing an annual game in Arrowhead Stadium, which is always a great time. Let’s do this, Iowa!

Top 5 Things to Do at Memorial Stadium During a Blowout

1. Find a portly gentleman surrounding you (no small feat in Memorial Stadium), and challenge him to a Fairbury-eating contest

2. Wager on how many people will be carried out on stretchers during the game

3. Guess how long Nebraska has been using those ugly, brown chair-seat things? (Our guess: since 1961)

4. Try and figure out what the hell is going on with this year’s cheerleading uniforms

5. Tell someone to sit down

Drinking and the A.M. kickoff

A dangerous combination, to be sure. Nothing can be less enjoyable than the early-morning puke followed by the 3 o’clock pass out followed by the 8 p.m. hangover. To avoid such a fate, The Tunnel Walk recommends you plan your day like this:

7-8: One or two bloody marys to get a quick buzz
8-11: Red beers! Nurse that buzz into a solid, but not extreme, inebriation
11-3: Sober up at the game, and make sure to get a Runza or Valentino’s or both
3-7: Go watch some football at a sports bar and have about five pints of domestic
7-8: Amigo’s and quiet reflection. See also: water
8-??: The world is your oyster, buddy

This Week’s Dorothy Lynch-capade

Tater tots. That’s right, suckas, The Tunnel Walk knows that fried potatoes and the orange yummie are the peas and carrots of the trans-fat world. Dip these fried nuggets of bliss into the deep orange ocean of love and St. Valentine himself will blush.

The Tunnel Walk always finds it inspiring when people are actually doing what they are put on this planet to do, such as Michael Jordan and basketball, Genghis Khan at ruling empires, and Dustin Diamond at being a douchenozzle. To this, we salute tater tots being dipped in Dorothy Lynch, like they were born to do.

Prediction Time

The Tunnel Walk feels strongly that Nebraska has better football players than San Jose State. All this talk about the spread offense is irrelevant if you have players running the plays in clownshoes. The Spartans are overmatched by the Huskers, no matter what question marks remain. Callahan and Cosgrove would not lose to San Jose State; they would probably win by around 6.

Look for Nebraska’s defense to fool everyone into thinking they are a lot better than they actually are, and for the offense to remain strong. We also predict a Niles Paul punt return for a touchdown.

Nebraska 55, San Jose State 6

Enjoy the game at a cost of $29.95.

The Tunnel Walk encourages our NFL fans to look forward to Heavy Soul's own Prickly Pete the Prognosticator's NFL Picks of The Week coming this Wednesday. As a preview, here's what The Tunnel Walk would guess he would pick:

New England over the Chiefs. Saints over Tampa Bay. Philly over the Rams.

From The Tunnel Walk, Hail Varsity.

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

The OWH: Where The Mainstream Media and Blogs Collide!

First it was the Tom Shatel interview. Now, in a total role reversal, the Omaha World-Herald is interviewing...Pete.

The World-Herald "Living" section did a story today about "tailgating etiquette," and called on none other than our boy Pete to break down the hustle for bathrooms and Port-A-Potties while tailgating (free advice: don't act like you're going to tip a Port-A-Pottie when someone is in there. It could turn out to be anybody...like Darin Erstad.)

If ever there was an important rule . . .

Be civil about sharing the bathrooms (or porta-potties or pickle buckets with curtains around them).

"That's very important," said Jeff Peterson of Omaha, a season-ticket holder and frequent tailgater. "You have to be able to share and make your trip quick. It's one way of keeping things friendly."

Thanks for the words of wisdom, Pete.

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Bo Pelini Gets His Own TV Show, Hilarity Ensues

A new segment for Heavy Soul to look forward to: The Nebraska Football Show Recap.

You won't get one this week--sorry, but we're busy catching up from the long weekend--but this probably needs to happen. We watched this week's episode, and it was pretty awesome. Coach Pelini looks like having to go over film from the weekend's games is possibly the worst thing that he could be a part of.

That's not to say it's not good, nor does that say he does a bad job. Quite the contrary. It's entertaining for several reasons:

-Refreshing honesty. There are SEVERAL instances where someone on the defense misses an assignment, and Coach Pelini quickly acknowledges the mistake, followed by a "that said, I take a lot of blame on that. I need to communicate better with these guys, and it's something that we'll work on this week." (Not a direct quote, but it is along those lines.) Pretty great stuff, and a stark difference of Coach "Throw the players under the bus" Callahan.

-Grumpiness. If you watch it, take special note of Coach Pelini before each commercial break. He is literally doing everything he can not to get up and walk off the set. In fairness, "grumpiness" probably is the wrong word. In fact, we're quite sure he's probably just not used to it. It's just funny to watch him start to stand up the second the film is done from each of the four quarters, then physically restrain himself from doing so. Also funny: him looking off set, waiting for ANYBODY to give him the OK to get the hell out of there.

-Grumpiness (for real). Apparently the Coachspeak goes out the window when he disagrees with a call. In fact, he flat-out will say when the official made a bad call, or "not how I would call it." Awesome. (Also file under "Refreshing honesty.")

-Plain polos. Remember last year when Coach "I'm officially done being the coach here, even if there's still a few weeks of the season" Callahan wore the plain clothes to press conferences, and people freaked out about it? The media would actually ask him questions about it? Well, apparently Pelini found the only thing outside Shawn Watson and Ted Gillmore to keep from the Callahan era: wearing whatever the hell clothes he wants. The only difference: no one has the balls to call him on it.

Anyway, it is yet another great change from the past 4 years. We'll recap these in far more thorough fashion starting next week.

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