From Jayson Stark's article "Reality or Illusion?":

--Ugly. David Ortiz (.170 AVG., 1 extra-base hit, 14 K, 8 hits) -- REALITY: Every scout we've talked to who has seen Ortiz is downright alarmed by his vanishing bat speed. "He's starting to go quick," one scout said. "His body is breaking down on him. He isn't even catching up to average fastballs, and he's not even driving the ball the other way. If he can't hit the fastball, they're going to eat him alive. I don't think he's going to be a .170 hitter. But he's not a guy who can carry a club -- not anymore."

Boy oh boy Jimmy, this is a gosh-darned muckety muck. I mean, gee willikers, I just don't understand! It's not like he was a 20-HR guy before he went to Boston and then blew u...wait, he was? He did, in fact, go from having a career-high of 20 home runs, then the very next year hit 31? Then 41 after that one? Then 47 after that one? Then 54 after that one? Then all the way down to 35 again*?

*Side note: I was suprised to see his OPS+ actually increased the year he started to come back to earth with his HR totals. Interesting. Whatever. He's clearly a steriod guy.

Some other notes form Stark's column:

The Bad: Roy Oswalt (0-2, 4.26, only 10 K in 19 IP) -- REALITY: After two messy starts, Oswalt threw six shutout innings against the Reds on Friday. But the baseball community no longer talks about him with anywhere near the reverence it used to. "He's definitely now more heart that stuff," one NL executive said. "I love him, but I think the arrow is pointing down. He used to have an overpowering fastball. Now it's not there. His curve is still a good pitch. But it's not a power strikeout pitch. He still has good enough stuff, but he lacks that put-away stuff he used to have."

Huh. Weird. Oh well, at least all those preseason mags were stupid and the Astros are surprising peop....wait, what's that? The Astros are 4-8? Good enough for dead last? Really?!? Because Mayfield was telling me they were going to be awesome. Can't believe he would be wrong when trying to speak about his favorite team's chances this year without an ounce of objectivity.

OK, to be fair....

The Bad: Derrek Lee (.217 AVG., 283 OBP, .348 slugging percentage) -- REALITY: We had a couple of "illusion" votes on Lee, but they didn't carry anywhere near the conviction of the people who think this man is fading. "This is a tough one, but Derrek Lee might really be slowing down," one front-office man said. "He's only 33 years old, but his power completely dropped off in the second half last year, as did his other numbers." Another variation of the same theme: "He really hasn't been the same guy since getting hurt [a broken wrist in 2006]."

It didn't look good the first week or two, but Lee may be coming on here. His last 7 days splits have seen his SLG go from .381 to .556, and subsequently has seen his OPS go from .687 to .871.

I know most people want to write off D-Lee, and I'm pretty close myself. But I'm not ready to yet. He may just be warming up.

Ryan Oswalt, though? Yeah, he's totally through.

Enjoy the rest of your Monday, nerds!

Labels: Boston Red Sox, Chicago Cubs, David Ortiz, Derrek Lee, Houston Astros, Roy Boy Oswalt

(The above quote in the title of this post is a direct quote from Ron Santo.)

Chicago Cubs baseball is oonnnnn the air!

Tomorrow!

1180 KOIL--home of The Weekly Grind!--is going to be broadcasting Ron and Pat and the Chicago Cubs taking on the stupid L.A. Dodgers tomorrow at 1:30pm.

Sweet God above, am I glad baseball is back.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Los Angeles Dodgers, MLB, Pat Hughes, Ron Santo, Spring Training

There are a lot of things that can be said about Ron Santo--fighter, ambassador of the game, hilarious announcer, unabashed homer, the king of unintentional comedy--but one thing that cannot be said is "hall of famer." I have always thought this was kind of a shame, but not the worst thing ever. His numbers are certainly worthy of the Hall, but they certainly toe the line.

Well, that is, until possibly now: this report is saying that Ronnie got in through the Veteran's Committee today along with Joe Torre and Dick Allen. Who knows how legit this report can be, but that would be pretty cool.

In addition: I would give up my salary for a month to be in the same room as Santo when he gets the call. The comedy of that moment would be through the roof, although I legitimately worry that the shock might just kill the guy.

So let's hope the report is true, and congrats to Ron Santo, one of the genuinely nicest people I have ever had the chance to meet.

Labels: Baseball Hall of Fame, Chicago Cubs, Ron Santo

Mark Cuban Charged with Insider Trading

Shit. Here's the next headline I see popping up:

"Cubs Welcome The Rickett's Family as New Owners"

Merry Christmas, Cub fans. Be on the lookout for random kicks to the nuts, 'cause they're coming.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Mark Cuban

Labels: 100 years, Chicago Cubs, Collapse

You know what that "E" stands for on Houston's line there? (Click picture to enlarge)

"ELIMINATED."














You know what the t-shirts and champagne represent?

"NL CENTRAL CHAMPIONS."

Back to back, bitches!

Labels: 2008 is gonna be great, 2008 NL Central Champs, Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros

Napa, you may want to avert your eyes of this post. And for that matter, if I have posted this here before, I apologize (although I did a few searches and couldn't find anything).

So those things aside, I see that ol' Eddie Vedder has a new song he recently played at a concert in Chicago--"Someday We'll Go All The Way." You can download it here (right click, save link as). The lyrics are below.

This might be one of the coolest things I have seen in a while; it is not too often that you get a legitimately awesome artist to write songs about your favorite team (or any team, for that matter). As for the song itself, it sounds like an old folk protest song--a perfect tone for a defiant Cub fan. Favorite line: "And when the day comes for that last winning run, and I'm crying and covered with beer."

Preach on, Eddie. Preach on.

**UPDATE** Awesome news, from Pearl Jam's website:

"At the request of Ernie Banks, Eddie threw together a song for the Cubs ("All the Way"). He got a pretty good live version of it at the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago this August. It's now being played on Chicago radio and at the Bleacher Bars around Wrigleyville. We have decided to make the song available for download - you can get it here in the next few days. There's a chance we'll also make available some hard copy CDs and we're looking into souvenir 45 singles, as well. Check back here for the latest.
Go, Cubs, go!"

Yeah, don't let them say that it's just a game.
Well, I've seen other teams and it is never the same.
When you go to Chicago, you're blessed and you're healed, The first time you walk into Wrigley Field.
Heroes with pinstripes and heroes in blue, Give us the chance to feel like heroes do.
Whether we'll win and if we should lose, we know Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.

We are one with the Cubs, with the Cubs we're in love.
Hold our heads tall as the underdogs.
We are not fair-weather, but foul-weather fans.
Like brothers in arms, in the suites and the stands.
There's magic in the Ivy and the old scoreboard.
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
In a world full of greed, we could never want more.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.

Here's to the men and the legends we've known.
Giving us faith and giving us hope.
United we stand and united we'll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all.
Yeah Ernie Banks said, "oh, let's play two".
I think he meant two hundred years.
Playing at Wrigley, our diamond, our jewel.
The home of our joy and our fears.
Keeping traditions, and wishes anew,
The place where our grandfathers' fathers they grew.
The spitual feeling if I ever knew.
And when the day comes for that last winning run, and I'm crying and covered with beer.
I look to the sky and know I was right today.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Eddie Vedder

The Astros officially went 15 consecutive innings against the Cubs without getting a hit between last night and this afternoon.

LOL.

UPDATE: The game is over. Houston managed *one* hit. In two games. Cubs win, 6-1. Ted Lilly gets 9 K's, gives up 1 hit, and 0 ER.

Labels: Carlos Zambrano, Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros, Ted Lilly

Congrats to Big Z on no-hitting the Astros!

Enjoy some playoff-free baseball, Kyle!

Labels: Carlos Zambrano, Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros

The Cubs are 31 games over .500.

31.

I must admit, it's pretty weird.

Not weird, so much, because the Cubs--the Cubs!!--are 31 games over .500, and looking like one of the three best teams in baseball, if not THE best.

No, what's weird is that I am quickly discovering that I cannot handle it. The Cubs are fielding their best team of my lifetime (and possibly of the past 50+ years), and I'm having a total inferiority-complex-influenced breakdown.

I honestly do not know why this is. Every other team I love has featured arguably one of the greatest teams of their sport of all-time. And that's in my lifetime. The 1995 Nebraska Football Cornhuskers (I still want to see USC's defense try to take on Tommy, LP, and Ahman Green when LP needed a rest from various crime committing), the 1996 Kentucky Basketball Wildcats (featuring NINE players that eventually played in the NBA), the 1990's Chicago Bulls (pretty tough to single out any one of their teams, although you could argue that the second run of championships may have been a better all-around team), and the 1985 Chicago Bears (Ditka!). I am an incredibly spoiled sports fan. In all, I have seen my favorite teams play in 15 title games/series. 15! That's insane! (This is the first time I have actually counted that up, and you could make it 17 if you want to include Kentucky's 1984 and 1993 Final Fours). And of those 15, they've won 12. 12 championships from my favorite teams in just 28 (er, basically 29) years. Incredible.

So why can I not handle the greatest Cub team of my lifetime?

I wish I knew, but this isn't going well.

I literally have to put the computer away at night, because all I do is try to find articles/stats/quotes about the Cubs. At work, I have to get up and find things to do, or risk losing myself into the deep corners of the internet ("managing by walking around!" (c) Michael Scott). It's as though I have to find every possible column and comment about the Cubs in order to validate that they are, in fact, 31 games over .500; and they are, in fact, as good as it seems that they are. Stats aren't enough for me to know that the Cubs' rotation is probably the best in baseball. No, Jayson Stark has to tell me. The Cubs have won 8 series in a row for the first time in 70 years, but I have to find some story in the Tribune to validate it...over and over again.

Ultimately, it's as close to a "I can't believe my eyes" moment I have probably ever had. That, I suppose, is what happens when you are a Cub fan. The Cubs could have 8 Hall of Famers in the field and Cy Young himself on the mound, and it I probably would still be looking around and wondering, "well, Cy has pitched great this year, but what about matching up with Brandon Webb?" The Cubs--according to Sports Club Stats come tomorrow--will be at a 98.5% chance of making the playoffs (a virtual lock). In fact, the Cubs need to go just 19-12 the rest of the way to get 100 wins. When you consider that the Men in Blue have won at a slightly higher clip than that all season, it doesn't seem to be much of a reach that they can get there, does it?

So tonight, I'm taking a deep breath and saying "to hell with it!" I'm going to sit back and enjoy the greatest run by a Cub team since I have been watching baseball (I was a bit young in 1984 to get how good of a team they had then). Caution, I want you to meet my friend Wind. Go with it.

It's Gonna Happen!!

/ducks for lightning strikes

Labels: Chicago Bears, Chicago Bulls, Chicago Cubs, Kentucky Basketball, Nebraska Cornhuskers, Stupidly Taunting The Baseball Gods

Ryan Theriot's mailbag on Chicago Sports (aka The Tribune's sports webpage) is pretty solid--he takes a guest spot for Cubs' beat writer Paul Sullivan's weekly feature.

There are some answers to Cub fans' questions that are just hilarious, however:

--When asked about if it is true that he pitched in a blowout against Ole Miss while he was at LSU:

Yes it's true. Everyone knows that I've pitched. I make sure of that. I have nine different pitches, all of which are awesome. I have a 0.00 ERA, got one out, throwing all knuckleballs. I don't remember who I faced -- some dude from Ole Miss.

--Question: "Hi Ryan, just a simple question. What kind of music do you listen to? -- Danny, Haltom City, Texas

Simple answer, Danny: 'Lil Wayne.

And the best question/answer of the mailbag:

--Riot, who wins a fight between you and Fontenot? If you two teamed up, do you think you could take Zambrano out? Inquiring minds want to know... -- Erik Burgio, San Francisco

I'd beat Font's butt, though Z might kill us. But I think Z likes me, or at least I hope he does. I would never fight Font, but if I did, I'd hammer him, and he knows that.

I cannot express how funny that response is. I mean, everyone thinks that Carlos Zambrano is crazy; it's just great to see that his teammates are completely scared of him, too.

I know that I personally feel that every contributor to this blog--past and present--could team up on Zambrano and maybe 2 or 3 of us would make it alive. Maybe.

Anyway, thought I would lighten up the mood around the ol' Heavy Soul a little bit. I hope you enjoyed these answers as much as I did.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Crazy Ass Zambrano, Ryan Theriot

Here it is, friends: the big 10 year reunion is upon us. Yes, it has been--amazingly--10 long years since we last roamed the esteemed halls of North Platte Senior High School. I personally haven't been back for a while, and am looking forward to seeing what a guy who goes around and opens Ruby Tuesday's for a living called "a rough, dirty town." Couldn't have said it better.

*Side note: does anyone know why they called it "North Platte Senior High School?" I mean, it's not like we had a junior high school.

It should be a fun weekend, as it sounds like the attendance is going to be higher than I thought it would be. Looking forward to seeing everyone there.

A few quick links...

--The Cubs--fresh off their 31-11 combined score, four-game complete SPANKING of the Brewers, now sit 5 games ahead of second place in the NL Central. In fact, the Cubbies simply need to finish 1 game over .500 the rest of the season to get to 92 wins, which should probably have them win the division, and at the least get the Wild Card. But the way they're playing, the term "Wild Card" only enters my big melon when I'm thinking about the Brewers. The more likely scenario would put them at 9 or 10 games over .500 for the rest of the season, which would have them at the 96-97 win mark, which should comfortably win the division for them. This team is legit, and if Dick Harden stays healthy, they should be the odds-on favorites to win the NL.

--It sounds like the Cubs aren't the only people who have a winning team and are getting unruly. Apparently Twins fans--who I always thought needed a cattle prod shock to wake them up during games--got a little unruly last night en route to beating the White Sox.

--More baseball: a good roundup from Deadspin in regards to how everyone in the media got scooped in regards to the Manny to the Dodgers deal yesterday. Pretty amusing.

--This video is unbelievably awesome: it's Michael Jordan at some recent basketball camp, and let's people know about what he thinks of Kobe. Some kid asks him who would win one-on-one, Jordan vs. Kobe, and he says "in my prime, not even close." He then proceeds to hit a ton of shots in a row, embarrasses white kids one on one, and it's all done to "Homecoming" by Kanye West. So yeah, I'd say this video is right in the ol' wheelhouse.

I've got to run...see some of you tonight.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Michael Jordan, Minnesota Twins, North Platte

Short answer: shit no.

Longer answer follows, from the Goat Riders of the Apocalypse:

While I’m not totally convinced Jim Edmonds isn’t here to destroy us, hitting two homeruns against the hated Sox in a “meaningless” series is sure going to help his popularity around Wrigleyville. In no way do I now “like” Edmonds, I just hate him a little less.

Couldn't have said it better. Hales and I were having this conversation last night, and I know that I've had it with several people, but here's the hypothetical:

Question: What if "Jimmy" Edmonds hit the walk-off homer in Game 7 of the World Series? Would you still hate him.

Answer: Yes. I, and Cub fans all around the world, would owe him a debt of gratitude. And we would all cherish that moment for as long as we lived. But a vag-sac is a vag-sac, no matter how you paint it. You may paint it Cubbies blue and red, but the thing still smells terrible.

All that said, the series sweep was more than enjoyable. It bumped the Cubs up to 13 victories in June (13-7 overall) in possibly the toughest month of the season. Not bad when you consider Soriano breaking his hand, Big Z getting hurt (and pitching like shit the 2 games before being put on the DL), and you haven't had your best pinch hitter in Darryl Ward. Add to the fact that Derrek Lee and--especially--Aramis Ramriez are both heating up considerably, and things look pretty good.

So here we are. It's June 24th, the Cubs are 20 games over .500, and still sitting there with the best record in baseball--by 2 full games, mind you. 4.5 games above the "still hanging around" Cardinals. And still flexin' strong nuts with that incredible +112 run differential. I guess things like this happen when 2 of your biggest question marks going into the season--Kerry Wood switching to closer and former closer Ryan Dempster switching to starter--are both currently #3 and #4 on ESPN's Cy Young Predictor. (I had never seen this page before, by the way. Another bit I picked up from the Goat Riders.)

Finally, I'll get to see this baseball juggernaut in person next weekend at The Cell. I'll be sure to bring some 40 ouncers and used tires that we can burn outside the stadium. Can't wait!

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Chicago White Sox, Dominance, Goat Riders of the Apocalypse

It is June 16, and the Chicago Cubs are 20 GAMES ABOVE .500. This hasn't happened pre-All Star break since 1977 for the Cubbies.

The Cubs still have the best Runs Scored/Runs Allowed ratio in baseball, and by a lot.

(SIDE NOTE: Bill James is a genius. His pythagorean winning percentage--which uses runs scored and runs scored against to come up with a predicted record is crazy. Using the PWP with the Cubs, it comes up with EXACTLY what their record is. Amazing.)

Since May 9th, they have won over 70% of their games.

They haven't lost 2 games in a row all season--the only team in baseball to accomplish this feat.

Being as objective as possible about it, the Cubs are the best team in baseball.

So what is this asshat's problem? What "objective" writer would even consider ranking the Red Sox higher than the Cubs?

Oh. J.D. Drew has been hot for a week and a half. And David Ortiz is a U.S. citizen now.

Well, that explains why the Red Sox should be ranked ahead of the Cubs in SI's Power Rankings.

I understand that these Power Rankings literally mean nothing, and it's all about who has the best record at the end of the year--especially for home field advantage in the World Series. (Wait, that doesn't matter anymore either?)

I guess it is just disappointing that Sports Illustrated would pull an ESPN here. And it's disappointing that SI would put a kid who just three years ago was still writing columns about how kids should be learning how to be kickers instead of playing other positions on the football field because college kickers suck. Or something like that. Anyone that uses "futbol" in an article about Football loses all credibility for me, anyway. And questions like "Has football begun losing its best legs to the increasingly popular sport of soccer?" are ridiculous, even if you are attempting to write a fairly ridiculous article. The answer is no. No, no, no, a thousand times no. Idiot.

ANYWAY....the Cubs are the best team in baseball. Still.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Gennaro Filice, MLB Power Rankings Are Ridiculous but I somehow still get fired up about them, Sports Illustrated

I was channel surfing tonight and caught part of the Braves and Mets on ESPN. Providing the color was our favorite red-headed giant, that's right folks Rick Sutcliffe is back from colon cancer!!! Even better is now I don't have to hear that ass clown Steve Phillips which is just better for baseball.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Phillips is a D Bag, Sutty

Your stupid post doesn't deserve a response, but I suppose I'm a sucker.

You showed me. Soriano is having a way better year. Forget the fact that Berkman is almost batting .400 while chasing the triple crown (has that ever happened?), Soriano’s 4 homeruns in 3 games against the worst pitching team in baseball is by far more impressive.


Let's take a look at Berkman's May 6-11th POW pitching opponents:

Washington: Hill, 0-1, 4.08 ERA
Perez, 1-4, 4.34
Lannan, 4-4, 3.40
Los Angeles: Lowe, 2-4, 5.34 ERA
Bilingsley, 3-5, 4.34
Kuroda, 1-3, 3.67

TOTALS: 11-21, 4.20 average ERA

Soriano's, last week:

San Diego: Wolf, 2-3, 5.16 ERA
Estes, 1-0, 2.57
Peavy, 4-3, 2.91 (**Unanimous Cy Young Winner, 2007)
Maddux, 3-4, 3.98
Pittsburgh: Gorzelanny, 3-4, 6.64 ERA
Duke, 2-2, 4.23
Dumatrait, 1-2, 4.39

TOTALS: 16-18, 4.26 average ERA

Now wins/losses don't have much to do with anything--see Peavy and his non-existent run-support--but ERA is still a decent overall look at the pitcher. And it would appear that they basically faced the exact same pitching. So to write it off as facing "the worst pitching team in baseball" is, predictably, short-sided and short on research, because your boy did the same thing. And against virtually the same pitching, while taking streaks into consideration--which is what we were doing all along, not the entire season, fucko--Soriano was better.

"Lots of funny things here," too.

Forget the fact that Berkman is almost batting .400 while chasing the triple crown (has that ever happened?),


D-Lee says, "Damn, that Mayfield is dumber than a box of rocks--doesn't he remember this ESPN cover?

It has happened. In 2004. For a Chicago Cub...(taken from the Astro's/MLB's Berkman POW Press Release):

The four-time N.L. All-Star's .682 batting average was the highest over a six-game span for a player with at least 20 at-bats since Derrek Lee of the Cubs hit .750 from June 17-23, 2004.

D-Lee was a Triple Crown candidate most of 2005, hitting .400 in the months of April and June that season. He also ended up with over 40 home runs. He came up slightly short in the three major categories over the course of the entire season, but yes, there have been players recently that have had as great of a season as Fatman. And they play for the Cubs.

First of all, it’s May. Second of all, it’s 2.5 games.

3.5 games, bitch.

Why? What does that prove? If your guy is fatter, why try and distort the numbers? The season isn’t even 2 months old, why not pull their numbers for the entire season?


Because, you illiterate fuck, I was comparing their two POW stats. And I did not realize Berkman had two; searching for "Player of the Week" on MLB.com only came up with the one he won in April. Even if I did, their numbers are still comparable:

Soriano: .516 BA, .516 OBP, 7 HR, 14 RBI, 1.258 Slugging, 39 TB
Berkman (May 6-11): .682 BA, .741 OBP, 2 HR, 5 RBI, 1.136 Slug, 25 TB

Soooooooo....batting average and OBP wins, I guess. And the reason I was just using those stats is because you were arguing that Berkman was the hottest player in baseball. Fact of the matter was right after you posted that, Soriano got hotter than Berkman was. No one said that Soriano was having a better year, nor that he was a better player. Rather, I was giving you and your shitty shit shit team shit. And, predictably, you go off the deep end and whine as you do any time someone talks shit about the Astros.

Also, Berkman's hot streak kept rolling last night against the Cubs, didn't it?

Berkman: 0-4, 3K, 4 LOB

At this time last year, of the three teams leading their division (LA, NY, MIL) none of them made the playoffs. 2.5 games in May. Guess the Astros should pack it in. There is no way they can make up that comfy 2.5 games with 120 games remaining. Impossible.

Apparently only you can cherry-pick numbers? So the Astros probably-won't-happen-again climb from 15 games under .500 to World Series is your big backbone to your argument? Well done. Why not look at relevant team stats?

Cubs: .286 BA (including pitchers!), .372 OBP, 117 OPS+ (!!), .450 SLG, +76 Run Differential (!!!), 121 ERA+ (!!!!!!)
Astros: .263 BA, .323 OBP, 100 OPS, .422 SLG, +9 Run Differential (!), 94 ERA+

So, let's see...the Cubs are better than the Astros in every single significant category. Particularly with a 117 OPS+ (2nd best in majors, behind Boston's 122), 121 ERA+ (3rd in majors, behind ARI and CLE), and their +76 Run Differential is the best in the majors by 20 RUNS!

Yes, it is May. There's a ton of baseball left, and considering we're talking about the Cubs, I'm sure that there's injuries galore to come along. However, all of the gaudy offensive stats included Soriano doing nothing/being hurt the first almost 2 months. And the pitching stats also include Ted Lilly's dead arm, Bob Howry's puke-inducing pitching, and Rich Hill completely imploding--three of the four or five most reliable pitchers from last season playing like shit, and they still have a Top 3 or 4 pitching staff in the majors.

Not to mention if you look at Baseball Prospectus' PECTOA odds, you see the Cubs ending the season with a 95-67 record--better than their current .562 winning percentage. And your Astros, sitting at 76-86, good for 5th place in the Central. In fact, that would place the Cubs with the best NL record and only 2 games behind the Red Sox' best projected record in baseball. The Astros....well, not so much.

In summary, I was simply comparing Soriano's and Berkman's recent hot streaks. And pointing out that the Cubs are a superior team to the Astros, as well as most of MLB. As what has come to have been expected from you, a whiny, self-aggrandizing bitch of a post was thrown up, denigrating Heavy Soul and her reputation. And because "eat it" left you so sad and offended, I'll end with this:

Suck on my shit.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros, Mayfield is a giant douch-noggle

This week's NL Player of the Week is the Cubs' Alfonso Soriano.

Let's compare Soriano's past week with Lance "Fatman" Berkman's POW week from the previous week:

Berkman: .455 BA, .517 OBP, 4 HR, 12 RBI, 1.136 Slugging, 25 TB

Soriano: .516 BA, .516 OBP, 7 HR, 14 RBI, 1.258 Slugging, 39 TB

Oh, and the Cubs have the 2nd-best record in baseball, with a (for this early in the season) comfy 2.5 games ahead of the Astros.

Eat it.

Labels: Alfonso Soriano, Chicago Cubs, Fat Berkman, Houston Astros, Major League Baseball

1. I was just at the Hy-Vee at 90th and Center picking up some lunch. It was there that I saw not one but TWO Dr. Pepper delivery guys eating lunch. I was right behind them, waiting to fill up my fountain Diet Coke, and BOTH OF THEM got...

Mr. Pibb.

Yes, that's right. Dr. Pepper's fiercest competitor, Mr. Pibb. And Dr. Pepper's employees are drinking it! With their uniforms on! There's like 10 different sodas/lemonades available at this fountain machine, and they pick Mr. Pibb.

Perhaps they know something we don't? Either way, I know if there is ever a time I want a Dr. Pepper, I'm re-thinking and going with the Pibb.

2. The Chicago Cubs National League Ball Club currently is in possession of the best record in baseball (along with Arizona--whom they swept this weekend--and FLORIDA).

So enjoy the fatman and his hot bat...I wouldn't get too excited about my team if it took a 8th-inning rally to defeat Barry Zito and the 23-loss Giants. I'm just sayin'.

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros, Lance Berkman is Fat, Mr. Pibb is apparently superior to Dr. Pepper

I'm dumping my allegiance to the Red Sox Nation. I've finally had it. I just don't want to be associated with all of these jackasses that have jumped on board in the last five+ years.

So, I am leaving it up to my good friends here at Heavy Soul to determine what the Deuce's new baseball team will be. You can decide between five teams and I have outlined the pluses and minuses for each team. You guys can push it over the top one way or another.

1) The Florida Marlins

Pluses

• The ownership and general management of this team just gets how to run a mid-market team. They've won just as many world series since the team was founded as the Red Sox have in that time period.
• They always end up in contention as long as the fire sale didn't happen the year before and even then they're usually competitive.
• The team has never lost a series in the post season.
• I really like Josh Willingham and Hanley Ramirez.

Minuses

• There won't be as much continuity with the team as they tend to dump just about everybody on their roster about every five to seven years
• I will never get to see them play at home (This should be a positive as the Dolphin Stadium is not a good place to watch baseball)
• Its a Florida team
• No DH (Sorry, I'm not a baseball purist)

2) The Arizona Diamondbacks

Pluses

• Another mid-market team that understands how to put the pieces together.
• Definitely could see them play every spring as long as we are still going to Phoenix for Spring Training
• I absolutely love Eric Byrnes, any clubhouse he's a part of is good by me
• Brandon Webb is good (and I mean GOOD).

Minuses

• Feels like I'd be jumping off one bandwagon and onto another
• The jerseys are NOT good
• No DH (again, fuck you guys)
• The National League West means I have to start watching baseball games that don't have the opening pitch until 9 at night.

3) The Minnesota Twins

Pluses

• Four hours away, I can go to games in the fall
• I like Morneau, Mauer, and Blackburn
• I'd have friends to root with
• DH

Minuses

• Paul and Kourtney like the Twins
• The Metrodome is a piece of junk
• The Metrodome is a piece of junk
• The Metrodome is a piece of junk

4) The Seattle Mariners

Pluses

• Safeco is an awesome field in a pretty awesome town
• I have always liked Richie Sexson
• I'm coming around Adrian Beltre even though I still think he's one of the more overpaid players in baseball
• When it comes to Felix Hernandez and Carlos Silva, I'm in.
• There are only four teams in the AL West so there's a better shot of seeing them in the playoffs
• DH

Minuses

• Home games are on late
• They haven't been to the post season since 2001
• Who the hell is a Seattle Mariner's fan?

5) The Goddamn Cubs

Pluses

• Every person I know is a Cubs fan
• I already basically know everything about the team
• I've been to more Cubs games than Red Sox games
• I love Sweet Lou
• The Fukudome (that's all that has to be said)

Minuses

• Every person I know is a Cubs fan
• I already basically know everything about the team
• I'm kind of tired of Cubs fever
• They're a lot like the pre-2004 Red Sox, I don't want to have to switch teams when their bandwagon goes through the roof when they finally win it all
• NO DH

So choose wisely Heavy Soul. My sports fate lies in your hands.

Labels: Arizona Diamondbacks, Chicago Cubs, Florida Marlins, Jumping off the bandwagon, Minnesota Twins, Pick my team for me, Seattle Mariners

This story is incredible, on a couple levels. First of all, it's probably about a 10 on a hilarity level, but then it is a 10 on a "holy shit, what a cool deal" level.

Apparently the Cubs pitching staff decided to have some fun with their strength and conditioning coach...and he reaped the rewards of putting up with one of their pranks:

When the Cubs began practice in the morning, Aramis Ramirez pointed to a wrecked '95 Nissan Sentra near the Cubs bullpen and asked: "Hey 'Bussy,' what's your car doing on the ramp?"

Buss looked over at the wreck and replied: "That's not my car."

But then Buss did a double take.

"Dude," he said to Ramirez. "That's my car!"

Buss soon discovered his car was demolished beyond recognition, but this was no ordinary crime. The car windows all had been smashed in, the front, back and sides all were severely dented and the smoking guns—a couple of baseball bats and balls—were strategically placed in the windshield.

"I figured (Jon) Lieber, (Kerry) Wood immediately, (Ryan) Dempster …" he said. "Then I realized it was every pitcher we have."...

After the workout ended, Dempster told Buss to "quit pouting" and come with him to the weight room to "see something."

As they walked out the back door, Buss saw several players and a 2008 Nissan Xterra parked in the walkway. Dempster gave him the keys for the new SUV, valued at about $25,000....

Buss nearly was moved to tears by the players' generosity.

Seriously, how funny/cool is that?

Also, how do I apply for a job where I am around Cubs players a lot? I could use a Nissan upgrade, myself...

Labels: Chicago Cubs, Fun With Team Employees That Make 1% Of What You Make, Kerry Wood, Ryan Dempster