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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Finally jumping off the largest bandwagon that has ever existed

I'm dumping my allegiance to the Red Sox Nation. I've finally had it. I just don't want to be associated with all of these jackasses that have jumped on board in the last five+ years.

So, I am leaving it up to my good friends here at Heavy Soul to determine what the Deuce's new baseball team will be. You can decide between five teams and I have outlined the pluses and minuses for each team. You guys can push it over the top one way or another.

1) The Florida Marlins



2) The Arizona Diamondbacks



3) The Minnesota Twins



4) The Seattle Mariners



5) The Goddamn Cubs



So choose wisely Heavy Soul. My sports fate lies in your hands.

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I think you have three good choices with the exception of the DBacks and Cubs, as those teams are far too bandwagony to switch to at this point, also they really shouldn't be factors since you clearly don't want to root for a National League team due to the DH (which is ridiculous, the DH sucks). Cross off the Marlins for DH and economic reasons (they would be an awful team to root for due to fluctuation and that deplorable stadium, it belongs in Rwanda).

That leaves you with the Mariners and the Twins. The fact that you think the Metrodome is a dump is almost irrelevant thanks to the new stadium being built Downtown, which is going to be awesome. Like every team, they do have some problems:

1. Their announcers suck
2. Gardenhire is at worst an awful manager and at best a competent one
3. Terry Ryan, GM Guru, retired before this year and his replacement, Bill Smith, still has the book out
4. They do not seem to believe in developing players that have on-base skills while developing an arsenal of pitchers that are instructed from rookie ball that walks are the worst thing in the world. It makes no sense, but it's reality.
5. Dome Dogs are garbage. GARBAGE!

On the plus, they are close, they have fantastic fans, they serve Grain Belt at the park and they have a solid core and will spend money smartly and constantly develop talent, especially pitching talent.

The Mariners are a solid choice as well. They have a cool park, although they lose points for retractable roof, but on the other hand it is Seattle, whatever.

I'm glad that I don't have to follow games that start that late.
Also this is the site of the infamous Rickey Henderson-John Olerud exchange:

RICKEY: That's funny, I had a teammate in Toronto that wore a helmet in the field.

OLERUD: Yeah. That was me.

So you could tell that joke for the rest of eternity, which sounds great.

On the other hand, liking Richie Sexson and Adrian Beltre probably makes me think you are a lost cause and I shouldn't have wasted the last five minutes thinking about this.
Also, even though they are in the National League, the Nationals deserve a shot here.

They have fantastic unis and a sweet new park, plus they really don't have a bandwagon yet so no one can really accuse you of hopping on it.

Ryan Zimmerman would be fun to root for. Here's what my list would look like if I were you:

1. Nationals
1a. Twins
3. Mariners
4. Cubs
5. Marlins
6. Dbacks
For posterity's sake I'd like to point out that there is plenty of room over here on the Royals' bandwagon.
I left the Red Sox last year, Todd. The Royals are where I landed, because they're close, A-Gord (LSE Alum, in case you forgot), the K is enjoyable - as opposed to the metro, plus the K has good brats/sausages, oh yeah, it was also the place of my first MLB experience as a youth.
I considered the Royals, but I don't think I could stomach an ownership that clearly does not care about the fans and takes its revenue sharing % and laughs all the way to the bank.
This is Todd's future wife.

I just want it to be noted that I do not appreciate being lumped in a category with Dr. Douchebag for ANY reason.

AND, don't pick the Mariners. You would then be jumping on the bandwagon my dad did when he ditched the Twins about five years ago. Come on, you LIVE for having NOTHING in common with my dad!

That is all. GO TWINS!

Deuce, in my eyes you should be down to 2...Twins or Royals.
Don't you go sleeping on the A's.
--They have a brief but current history of drafting former Huskers (Jed Morris, Shane Komine, Dan Johnson).
--Since the 70's they have had a notorious (Get it? Notorious.) penchant for having the baddest clubhouse in the bigs.
--Billy Beane is the GM most teams would kill for.
--The new owner Lewis Wolff is going to rip open his wallet once the new stadium opens up in Fremont in '12.
--They've always had a strong farm system.
--Their mascot is an elephant. Very toungue in cheek for the Athletics.
--Their 2008 slogan is, "Try us out Todd, you'll like us!"
Dear Deuce,

Our bandwagon is full. There would probably be room for you, but your goddamned e-mail signature is too big.

Warmest Regards,

The Official Chicago Cubs Bandwagon
It's all about the Detroit Tigers, man. Don't pay any attention to their awful record and inconsistent hitting. They were in the world series only two years ago!
What better way to settle this than with a poll? Vote here.

Um, needless to say, I had some time on my hands.
I voted for the Royals. For once I'd like the Deuce to not just pick the best team (I'm looking at you Michigan State)
That's bullshit. I liked Michigan State long before they won the national title. You can fault me for liking the 49ers or the Lakers, but Michigan State was a reasonable choice.
Nice work on the poll, A. I love how The Deuce is able to defend one of his three team selections in good conscience.
I still don't buy that Michigan State shit.

In fact, the only way I do is if you started liking them once you found out Magic played for them...either way, it's bandwagon time, baby!

And that is a great poll, A.
Deuce. Are you worried about having to support something others consider "poor" if the wrong team is selected.
^^And therein lies...the rub.

The choice is yours, Deucey.
That's a great poll, go royals!
Deuce it looks more and more like you should be buying a Gordo T-shirt Jersey here in the near future.
Thanks for putting the poll together Adam, but after talking with your brother I've decided to go with the Minnesota Twins. I'm not really sure how the Royals ended up as a choice since I would rather remain a Red Sox fan than cheer for that franchise. Thanks to the people who provided honest input, while the few people who were just snarky and mean spirited should rethink how they treat their friends.
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