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Sunday, April 17, 2005

Benson baby!

Tonight, quote, "Why is it every time I beat someone up I get arrested?" Went out to the Benson bars tonight with OC & Rick, fight broke out, & I drank with some fifty year old, who is a professional shuffle board player with cops,ambulance, and fire truck outside. More white trash than you can shake a stick at. Guy got arrested & we witnessed. Really drunk night but hit the unintentional comedy scale at about a 9.0. Sorry if this is choppy, I'll fill in the rest tomorrow.
Part II
So I found a computer in the middle of Benson, so I don't have to use my goddamn phone. Great night tonight. We went to little OC's house, drank a lot, and then went to some random Benson bar to play shuffle board to finish off the night. Six different fights broke out while we were there, not sure why or how, but it was fun to watch a bunch of dumb necks rock each other. We then were told we had to leave, but guess what? I'm a huge pussy and decided I wasn't going to leave until the brawl on the street was done. We then befriended the pro shuffle boarder and continued to hang out until closing. Not only could this guy throw with his elbow and nose, but he wore Raybans in a dark bar at 12:45. Finally, after MIB stole some birthday cake from some random barmaid, we decided to walk back to Kyle's. On the way home we passed the guy who evidently had nothing to do with the fight, but he pleaded while being handcuffed by Omaha's finest "Why is it that every time I beat someone up I get arrested?" Someone please award this man with the Nobel prize, or at least a Darwin award. This guy was so tatted up I thought he couldn't say anything that wasn't already printed on his body. No disrespect, but I seriously thought I was in western NE and was going to get my ass kicked tonight. Instead, I got a good laugh and a possible client, as this guy couldn't afford anything better than me.
Side note: Zach Taylor is good. Our defense sucks. And the prediction is one win better than last year. Oh yeah, Why does NE baseball lose every time I watch? I'm not going to pay attention to college baseball anymore, maybe they'll win the whole thing.
Well, that's about all for tonight. I have finals here in the next couple of weeks so the Big Boi might be out of commission. But with my roommate. who knows? Be excellent to each other, Party on DUDES. NE football rocks!

I want to say that we did receive word on what caused the "Malay on Maple" last night. I was told that Benson’s Rival town Mayfield started it, by donkey punching one of the barmaids. Train wreck of an evening last night, Big Boi was not to far off comparing it to Western NE. I want to say Happy Birthday to Stephanie, your cake last night was second to none.
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