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Thursday, April 21, 2005

No Mo' NoMAAAAAAAAAAH

Rough break for GA and the rest of the Cubs fans last night. Nomar going down really hurts that lineup, but that's not really the point of this post...I want to write about being a man.

Last night hurt me as a man....watching Nomar pull that groin was one of the most painful things I have ever witnessed. To watch a grown man, not to mention and all-star shortstop, roll around in agony while holding his crotch is just not something any of us should ever have to witness. I think I felt his pain by just watching it. For anyone else that has ever pulled a groin you might know what he feels like but for those of you who have never had to go through it (congrats), here is the description I'd like to give you...(my background: severely pulled a groin the summer between my freshman and sophmore years of h.s. playing in a soccer tourney).

-Let's set the scene...on a soccer field in Kearney, NE...playing defense and a harmless long pass comes rolling towards me...I jog towards it and see an open teammate a mere 20 yds away from me...I pull my right let back in anticipation of making perfect contact for a perfect pass....a split second before the ball and my foot meet, the ball hits an unexpected bump and veres in a slightly different direction....trying to adjust in midkick i stretch a little further to my right side to try and make better contact...but to no avail, the ball has vered to far....I barely make contact and my vicious follow through continues at a very high speed....what happened next is something that I wish i never lived to tell about and I am sure Nomar feels the same way this morning.
-Yep I completely pulled my groin on the near whiff...I personally don't think a pulled groin is quite descriptive enough for the pain it causes...its more like a thrashed groin muscle that is ominiously close to your pelvis.
-Similar to Nomar I rolled around screaming in pain holding my groin...(On a side note this completely embarrassed my mom and I'll never forget her quote to me as she came to check on me once they carried me to the bench....)
Mom-"are you OK?"
EZT-"No mom this really hurts, it hurts to move in any direction, coach Whitney says I pulled my groin"
Mom-"I'm sorry honey, i'll get you some ice.....(now in raised voice) BUT there is NEVER an excuse for you to touch yourself in front of hundreds of people..."
EZT-"But mom thats where it hurts..."
Mom-"shhht...TRAVIS JAY, I don't care how bad it hurts, you will never rub yourself in public again like you just did or I will kick you in the groin and make it hurt twice as bad"
HONEST TO GOD! That last quote is exactly what my mom told me...it worked, i only touch myself in private now...Thanks for the lesson mom...

Now back to the pulled groin part....
-The day it happens its extremely uncomfortable, you just can't move in any way without a sharp pain shooting up your pelvis and down your leg
-But its even worse the next morning....When i tried to take my first step the next morning I literally fell to the floor...when that baby stiffens up, you might as well just lay in bed for the next week.
-To make matters even worse its the coloring of your pelvic region the following days that is really embarrassing. I by two days after the incident I was literally black and blue from my hip bone to a 1/3 of the way down my thigh and all around the privates....not cool.

The point of this post....as a man I feel terrible for Nomar. What that man is currently going through deserves the sympathy of all grown American men... Nomaaaaaaaaaaaah get well soon, if not for my sake....for Mia's.

Comments:
Nomar has definately had a rough go at it over the last few years. It's too bad, other than his 600 glove adjustments between swings I always thought he was alright.

I think Jim Rome said it best today when he said, "This guy went from being a modern-day Ted Williams, to being Mia Hamms husband."
 
Yikes, that one cuts to the bone. But, really, Rome is right--right now, anyways. I really hope that Nomar can make it back.

EZT, that story about your mom is one of the funniest things I have ever read.
 
And as if the Phunk Junkeez & Jobu's Curve balls couldn't get any worse, Nomar goes down. Goodbye to any hopes of having a chance to compete in fantasy baseball this year.

Nomar, I still have your Red Sox T-Shirt Jersey, and I like it very much. You will always hold a special place in my baseball fan heart, so get well soon.
 
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