Friday, April 15, 2005
An Open Apology
Dear God,
I am sorry about my inebriated post the other night. I don't recall creating it. I have it narrowed down to possibly being at Pete's house because as you all know, I have no consistent internet access. I am also sorry about calling you the son of God. I mean, how can you be your own son? Metaphysically impossible. For you maybe not. I don't care how drunk you are, if you can't discern between members of the Holy Trinity, you are going to hell.
It was also childish and immature to ask you to make me a girlfriend. I know you aren't into those cheap miracles like the good old days. I'm better than that and more importantly, so are You.
Normally I might not have issued a public apology, but that night you made me puke...hard. I had a couple of blood vessals burst around my eyes. That was hardass. It got me thinking, and I have a question to ask you. Did you make my lung collapse or come down with what I now refer to as Terry Francona Syndrome? I thought so. You are so badass.
Well, tell the original J-Hova I said hey.
I am sorry about my inebriated post the other night. I don't recall creating it. I have it narrowed down to possibly being at Pete's house because as you all know, I have no consistent internet access. I am also sorry about calling you the son of God. I mean, how can you be your own son? Metaphysically impossible. For you maybe not. I don't care how drunk you are, if you can't discern between members of the Holy Trinity, you are going to hell.
It was also childish and immature to ask you to make me a girlfriend. I know you aren't into those cheap miracles like the good old days. I'm better than that and more importantly, so are You.
Normally I might not have issued a public apology, but that night you made me puke...hard. I had a couple of blood vessals burst around my eyes. That was hardass. It got me thinking, and I have a question to ask you. Did you make my lung collapse or come down with what I now refer to as Terry Francona Syndrome? I thought so. You are so badass.
Well, tell the original J-Hova I said hey.
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