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Friday, December 16, 2005

Omaha Bar Rankings

1. The Homy Inn--This bar is so cool, I WISH it was my bar.
2. Barrett's--This is my bar.
3. The Holiday--A close second to Barrett's on being MY bar. These two are really the McGwire and Canseco of bars.
4. The Dubliner--Don't recall a bad time here, bonus for being downtown.
5. The Green Onion--Cool sunken bar, bad morning afters
6. The Old Dundee/49r (tie)--Great bars all in the same hood. Can't go wrong with a solid group of friends and cheap beer.
8. The My Way--So much to do, it's like the YMCA of bars, minus the homosexuals.
9. The Goofy Foot--If I actually went more, would be much higher
10. The Underwood--36 oz North Platte beers a sentimental fave.

Comments:
After deliberation--The Brothers is tied with the Underwood for 10th.
 
Jesus, everyone's coming strong this afternoon. Pete, I'm extremely pleased with this post. This has been a topic of discussion for about 2 years now; nice to see it finally put out for the world to see.

My thoughts:

1. Homy Inn--it is my #1, too.
2. Barrett's--agreed, I hate living out west.
3. The Holiday--see #2. Not to mention awesome bartenders who serve "coffee" when it's getting late.
4. The Dubliner--I would probably put this #2 or 3, personally. Pints of Guiness and live Irish music...yep, it kicks ass.
5. The Onion--out of principle, this should have been kept any list except "places that make you vomit the next day." Jokes aside, classic old-school, Omaha lounge.
6. Old Dundee--I'm particularly fond of the Old Dundee now, and they are of me, as well. The bartender that rang up my engagement tab brought over a round of shots the second he saw me in there the last time I was there and shook my hand. I don't know if this is a good thing, or a bad thing.
7. 49er--only been once, but loved it.
8. The My Way--Pete, that may have been the funniest line typed out on here since it was started.
9. The Goofy Foot--by far the coolest bar in Omaha, in particular when the music snobs/clerks of Homer's spin their records on the weekends.
10. The Underwood--dirty, dark, cheap....wish I was there right now.
 
Your telling me not one benson bar made either list? Garbage.
 
A. I was commenting on the bars Pete ranked.

B. I have never been to a Benson bar.

C. If it is "garbage," come up with your own list, asshole!
 
Top 5 Bars within 3 blocks of my house.

5. Micks Music Bar - I thought this was a gay bar but they got enough points to crack the top five because they once let me and Jimenez in even though they were closed to do one shot. I believe it was 10:30 in the morning.

4. St. Barleys Tavern - This place really doesn't bring anything extra to the table, but I could hit it with a rock if I was standing on my front porch.

3. The Full House - Cheap Beer, and the owner is a hilarous drunk. The first thing he ever said to me was "Help me convince my wife to go to a Nudie beach with me." The guy is awesome.

2. Mussette - This bar has only three rules. 1. No doing drugs 2. Do not disrespect your waitress 3 No fighting

I only mention this because I have personally witnessed all three rules being broken. The best being when a guy donkey punched his waitress. It was her birthday. Good times.

1. The R Barr - They have $3.00 shots and thats not all, every shot includes a 10 ounce chaser of whatever you want. Which is nice cause we always choose beer. Has there ever been a bar that gave away beer every night of the year?
 
The Homey is the greatest hole in the wall I have ever been in.

Barretts has the best philly beef (yeah thats right GA I said BEEF, not chicken).

And the Dubliner, well, enough has been said.

Other than that I cannot comment much on the Omaha bar scene too much. I have only been to the ones you guys drag me to. Which oddly enough is Murphy's most of the time. Not really sure why that is. Couches I guess.
 
CHICKEN PHILLY, BITCHES!
 
Chicken, hands down
 
Alright bitches, time for the grown ups to talk.

The Dubliner has never ranked on any individual night above a B+. And that was the night I got cold cocked by a dwarf and had a few drinks bought for me by Erik Piatkowski. It's the same damn thing all the effing time. And that's not a bad thing, just not top ten worthy.

If Mayfield Sucks gets to count Benson bars, then I get to count the Crescent Moon, The Brothers, and Sullivans. I get a loyal customer discount at the Moon and I've drank there later than I have at any afterhours in Omaha in the last year. The Brothers has Moscow Mules, a live beagle as a mascot that chills wherever the eff he pleases, and the best punk selection on a jukebox I'll ever care to hear. Sullivans let us drink there last spring when there was power outage. And they've got a nice jukebox. And the bartenders are friendly. As a bonus, during last winter's blizzard, when my car would not make it up the hill at 40th and Dodge (which I would n't even consider a hill, but apparently my car does because the son of a whore wouldn't get me home so I had to park in the McDonald's parking lot) Sullivans was the first place that served me a free drink for being out in the blizzard. And I quote, "Did you just fucking walk here?" "Yyyyyyeeeeeessss." "Jesus, man. I guess you need a drink." "Ttttthhhhaaaannnkkksss."

I think Pauli's should count. Even outside of the CWS. Yes, that's when it eclipses damn near every other bar in Omaha, but it's cool at other times as well. Plus, I'm the owner's cell phone bitch and he requires me to give his bar shameless plugs in order for me to keep getting backdoor passes during the series.

I also like the Interlude Lounge for a change up. Everyone knows The Green Onion is known for its stiffies, but I would put a solid wager, (and so would Delusional KC Fan) that the MILFish older bartendress' martinis will eff you up big time. And plus they're open on Christmas Eve and they serve a mean brandy and egg nog.

And don't forget the lights on/lights off combo of J.D. Tucker's/Barrio's. Not too many better hip sports bars than Tucker's. Bowls of peanuts and pretzels are always good for drunks despite the inevitable fecal matter on uncovered food. Barrio's is good for...boozing, I guess. Plus they have a good jukebox. And last time we were there, Big Boi got the waitress to call him.
 
MIB or Mayfield Sucks may need to step in here with the actually bar name. All I can really tell you is that it is in Brady, and if you fell like losing yourself for a number of hours this is the spot

The Playhouse. . .they are always serving what I like

Turf Lounge, I have been their twice, the first time being on Pete’s birthday when the waitress drank the MIB and Pete under the table

Elbow Room – Close to home, shuffleboard, dirty cliental and employees. Most nights at about mid-night porn usually finds its way on to the tv’s

OC
 
I've not actually been to about 1/2 these bars (sad, I know), but will have to have some sort of goal, my 2006 resolution?, to hit them all up.
My fave dive bar ever: Leavenworth's. I got a free drink b/c I flashed the bartender, and it was only a half-flash (bra still on). Score.
 
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