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Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time

Here we go:
On Friday, I went to my grandma's house in Kearney for Xmas festivities. Upon arrival, it was soon discovered that my grandma had cancelled her Dish Network and hadn't hooked up cable yet. I was the only person there who a. was under 50 and b. wasn't sewing. What a nightmare.

Logically, I headed to the bar by myself. I decided to try the Thunderhead Microbrewery. I sat at the bar for 6 hours from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. The following events actually happened:

1. The bartender, a Cold War-era Soviet named Sergei, would openly swear at customers who ordered things that were not tap beer, and not in a joking matter. At least 3 groups of people got offended and left throughout the course of the night.
2. One gentleman, upon learning that his "mug club" membership had changed numbers due to them breaking his mug in the dishwasher, threw his new mug at Sergei from 10 feet away, shattering it against the beer taps. He was not kicked out.
3. Mini-golf Girl, a Cody Go Karts Hall of Famer, worked there, and smoked at least 3 bowls in the women's bathroom while waiting tables.
4. Sergei, who like me because I ordered tap beer, gave free Jager shots for the rest of the night.
5. The "mug club" guy, upon being sarcastically called an idiot by one of the waitresses. Said that he was never coming back again, angrily paid his tab and left, then came back about an hour later for last call with absolutely no recollection of the event. Sergei was also the supervisor and said that he was not allowed back in upon his departure, but apparently an hour away was enough.
6. Mini Golf Girl got off, lined up five shots of Jager I poured, and downed them in about 15 seconds. Then began dancing on the table. Unstable comes to mind for those looking for an update on her.
7. The brewery does not follow last call, and says that they do so because a lot of cops drink there. I was invited to stay until 2 or 3.

Overall, I give this bar a 10.5 out of 10. If you are ever stuck in Kearney for the night by yourself, it could not be more highly recommended.

Comments:
I do not even know how to respond to this story. Incredible. A couple of thoughts:

1. They sell Thunderhead at the Old Chicagos here in Omaha. Haven't tried it yet, though--is it any good?

2. The bartender sounds facinating.

3. If anyone who knows who Mini Golf girl is, I think that "unstable" would have come to mind going back to our Cody Go Cart days, but fantastic story, anyway.

4. The fact that they openly do not give a shit about last call because cops go there a lot is unbeleivable.

5. If I didn't know that this was a microbrewery place, I would guess you were holed up in Sturgis or something.
 
Next time you stop by, tell mini-golf girl I said hi.
 
Mike,

Glad to see you got your head out of Mark Prior's crotch long enough to post. Just kidding. Maybe.

Anyway, this was no friendly Russian like Yakov Smirnov. He was kind of like a cross between Josef Stalin, Ivan Drago, and Nikita Kolov (of WWF fame). A real hardcore bolshevik. This guy was raised in Siberia and had a penchant for the cold, vodka, and potatoes, and with a surly disposition to go along with it. The kind of Russian caricatured so often in the 80s personified. A walking stereotype.

The beer was pretty good. I've been to so many microbrews in the last year or so they're getting hard to distinguish.

Gage, I adequately "kept our rep up" per your request.
 
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