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Monday, February 13, 2006

The Biggest Scandal of All Time! or

No one gives a shit.

Seriously--this hockey-betting ring "scandal" is what it is: some millionaire hockey players placed bets (on sports that are not played on any kind of ice) through an assistant coach (who also happens to be a millionaire).

Now, is it a story? Sure it is. If you are a sports news organization, of course you are going to report on it. I understand that there may be ties to the mafia here. That is a noteworthy story.

However, the breathless reporting on SportsCenter is half stupid, half vomit-inducing. It is not so much this story, as much as it is that SportsCenter has turned into a nightly retarded cousin of "20/20." All the "investigative" reporting, the corny "interest" stories, the "stories" that are turned into "scandals" by ESPN's non-stop reporting--it's all just too much for me to handle anymore.

I think that ESPN and SportsCenter are making a fatal mistake of underestimating their audience's intelligence. This story is a perfect example: you mean to tell me, ESPN, that professional athletes--*gasp*--GAMBLE??? I am flabergasted. I am flabergasted. These ultra-competitive multi-millionaires like to put action on games. This is shocking.

Is Wayne Gretzky stupid for saying that he didn't gamble and doesn't know anything about it? Yes, of course he is. But is it my business that his wife might put down $75,000 on the Super Bowl? Of course not. Who cares? The guy just made $75,000 in interest in the time it took me to type this sentence. But, by God, ESPN is going to make sure I know about it. And they're going to do everything they can to make sure to catch him if he trips up at all, too--and report on it until I know every last detail about it. Whether I care or not.

It is just so frustrating and annoying to see what SportsCenter has become. Remember the Big Show? Dan Patrick and Keith Obermeyer going through highlights while saying something funny here and there. They even used to show the box score! Yes, the box score--that thing where you find out how the different players did that particular night? Remember that? Now you're lucky to see who the leading scorer was besides seeing what the score was. For that matter, you're lucky to get every score from a given night. Instead, you get to hear that J.J. Redick's feelings are hurt by opposing student sections, and that he writes poetry to release his tensions (that story, which aired last season, was 12-minutes long. 12 minutes of kick-me-in-the-balls bullshit that no one cares about, other than EZT.).

SportsCenter and ESPN are becoming a sad characture of itself, and I hope they fix themselves before the damn channel implodes under the weight of the garbage they throw at their viewers every night.

(Hey, at least Baseball Tonight is coming back soon.)

Comments:
The Sports leader continues to deteriorate with every big sports story. When the T.O. story was in mid swing, I thought seriously about puting the parental lock on ESPN and setting some random code so that I could never watch the channel again. Who cares about these stupid sports controversies? Great, T.O.'s a spiteful, petty bitch. I think I figured that out when he destroyed the 49ers. Don't spend sixty minutes of a ninety minute show talking about that ass clown.

Then there was the USC/greatest team ever bullshit. Now, we have like 5 people gambling in the one sport nobody really gives a shit about besides the Canadians. Guess what DP? Nobody fucking cares whether Gretsky knew about gambling. In fact, my opinion of him would generally rise if he was gambling.

ESPN has grown so large with absolutely no competition that they have the Ford/GMC problem occurring (the general public will buy whatever we give them, so fuck what they want). Christ, ESPN already accounts for about half of a basic cable bill.

Sooner or later Fox Sports Net, CNNSI, or some other media will realize the opportunity that lies in competing with the sports colossus. Until that day, we'll have to continue listening to stories on how Brody Quin's favorite restaurant is in South Bend, Indiana and J.J. Redick poses in the nude for his GLBT art classes.
 
Speaking of Kenny Mayne... How awesome does that guy have it. He gets paid a yearly salary to be Kenny Mayne about 30 times a year. All he does are the random fake interest stories and is a color man for HORSE RACING! I do wish he was on more. Side note: Why can't they bring back Kilborn? Evidently, he's not doing shit right now.
 
Ever since I started watching Mad Money at 5 instead of SportsCenter, I have generally been less pissed off at the world.

Then I watch the news, and all of that goes away and I become the bitter prick I've always been.
 
Mad Money is goddamned hilarious.
 
Pete, your obsession with Mad Money is comical.

But I'm also willing to offer ESPN a piece of advise on the subject. Fire Chris Connelly. The sooner the better.
 
ESPN sucks a little more each day but the more JJ Redick pieces they do a week, the better.
 
I don't mind Chris Connelly, but I whole-heartedly agree that he has no business being on ESPN.

Who else would you fire? Here's my list:

-Around The Horn (everyone associated with the show, except keep Stat Boy for PTI only)
-Jay Mariotti (just to add emphasis that he is a giant d-bag)
-Stuart Scott
-Linda Cohn (*shudders* Ugg, her voice is siezure-inducing)
-Neil whatever the hell his last name is. Hey Neil, buddy? When you yell really loud into the microphone--it's not funny. It is ANNOYING AS FUCK.
-Sean Salisbury--I think that name says enough.
-Chad Ford--anyone that has Rajon Rondo as the number four pick in this year's upcoming draft is a total idiot.
-Damn it, I am totally blank, but the guy opposite Woody Paige on Cold Pizza and opposite of Steven A. Smith on Old School/New Skool--that cranky old fart is too much to handle, not to mention he knows little to nothing about sports.
-Digger Fucking Phelps and his stupid matching highlighters and picking Notre Dame to win every game they play. SHUT UP!
-Paul McGuire--thank God that is now officially over after last night.
-Fran Franchilla--oh my Christ, he is terrible. This guy actually coached college basketball???
-Pedro Gomez--granted, not his fault he gets stuck on shitty assignments, but he's the one that turns in the reports, so screw him.

I'll do more later.
 
EZT, I am honestly considering taking away your posting privledges after that comment.
 
You're thinking of Skip Bayliss, GA.
 
Thanks, the rod. It was right on the tip of my damn tounge.

I hate Skip Bayliss, but I kind of feel bad about it because it is so easy to. Kind of like feeling bad watching the Special Olympics and laughing.
 
Well i'd rather here about JJ"s poetry than Randolph Morris still thinking he's a lottery pick any day of the week.
 
You can pretty much guarantee that if Skip Bayliss says something, the opposite will come true.



The Artest stories are a bit much too. I viewed this quote running on the crawler last weekend. "Artest says he was raised around thugs and hustlers." Well no shit ESPN. Thats truly ground breaking. Guess what ESPN, Dikimbe Mutumbo is from Africa.

This site rules...

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=1406
 
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