Omaha, NE (AP) -- With the opening ceremonies in Torino, Italy less than 24 hours away, the U.S. Women's Curling team dropped a bombshell on the world. The team's skip, 24-year-old Cassie Johnson, of Bemidji, MN announced her pending marriage to Omaha resident Man in Black.

"Yeah, this comes as somewhat of a surprise to me, too," in Black said. "I mean, I think I said something on a blog once about finding her attractive, but I didn't think anyone read that (expletive), especially her. I guess she Googled herself and found it."

In Black admitted he's really only been a curling fan every four years until seeing Johnson on a blog post.

"I've always thought curling was great. Men's or women's, it didn't matter. Last Olympics, my college roommates and I would stay up and watch those crazy (expletive) roll some rocks. I remember the ladies being a lot older then. I guess now that we're getting married, I'll have to become a full-time fan."

Johnson contacted in Black via e-mail today with her proposal. He read the message at work and was equally skeptical and hopeful.

"Initially, I thought this was a joke because I've had proposals e-mailed to me previously. But when she started spouting off curling terms like draws and the fact that the only true curling stones are made from Blue Hone granite that comes only from Ailsa Craig, Scotland, I knew it was really her," said in Black.

The groom-to-be was employed with Sprint through the end of the day.

"Yeah, as soon as I found out that she was sending me a plane ticket, I pretty much told that place to kiss my left nut, though I really should have waited to see if she really sent a ticket. God, I am so (expletive) stupid. How could they let me get away with that?" in Black lamented.

[Editor's note. Mr. in Black's expletive-ridden rant continued for a considerable length of time, leaving us with little to no printable material. For this, we apologize to our readers.]

Upon hearing the news, many of in Black's friends reminded him that he had no Passport.