Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Fusion=Barry Bonds
I did it. I bought the new Gillette Fusion. It has five blades. And a vibrator (which I might add is thicker and more phallic than its Mach3 predecessor).
Normally it takes a good 2-day recovery time between shaves for my skin to be ripe and comfortable. I shaved yesterday. To test this bitch out, I shaved again this morning.
Verdict: half-boner.
This didn't excite me like when the Mach3 Turbo came out (i.e. McGwire/Sosa homerun chase of '98). Sure it has more blades than the previous record holder (i.e. Bonds' 73), but I really was expecting more.
I still cut myself. Still got razor burn. Granted, both of these were noticeably less than with the Mach3 Turbo, and maybe it was the consecutive days shaving, but c'mon.
Also, and this may be the Cpt. Obvious point of the day, but it's a lot bigger. A bit awkward on your upper lip. Not as sleek. But a possible pinch hitter if your lady friend's battery operated boyfriend takes a dive.
I'm not saying this razor is an asshole like Bonds, but it's no Dan Quisenberry, either.
Normally it takes a good 2-day recovery time between shaves for my skin to be ripe and comfortable. I shaved yesterday. To test this bitch out, I shaved again this morning.
Verdict: half-boner.
This didn't excite me like when the Mach3 Turbo came out (i.e. McGwire/Sosa homerun chase of '98). Sure it has more blades than the previous record holder (i.e. Bonds' 73), but I really was expecting more.
I still cut myself. Still got razor burn. Granted, both of these were noticeably less than with the Mach3 Turbo, and maybe it was the consecutive days shaving, but c'mon.
Also, and this may be the Cpt. Obvious point of the day, but it's a lot bigger. A bit awkward on your upper lip. Not as sleek. But a possible pinch hitter if your lady friend's battery operated boyfriend takes a dive.
I'm not saying this razor is an asshole like Bonds, but it's no Dan Quisenberry, either.
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