Friday, February 03, 2006
Where do you stand?!?
In anticipation of the big matchup between Creighton and Drake tomorrow night, I thought I would get something off my chest:
I hate Creighton.
I'm serious. It is one of those deep, passionate hates. The "makes blood rush to your head and impair your judgment when you hear the name" hates.
Why do I care about Creighton? That, dear reader, is a great question. Because let's not kid ourselves--Creighton is nothing. Creighton vs. Drake? On a Saturday? The sound of that does not exactly wake the echoes of greatness, does it? I would rather stay at home and hit myself in the balls with a rubber mallet than watch a glorified high school game like that.But I do care. I have to care. I live in Omaha. I'm surrounded by it. And it is sickening. For several reasons:
1. Creighton fans are frauds. Yeah, I said it. Total frauds. Creighton fan is the guy who lives in Omaha and says things like "they play the game right," "Dana Altman is so much like Tom Osborne--he resonates with people in Nebraska," and "I really think Creighton can make some noise in the Big Dance."
First of all, don't say "the Big Dance," ever. Second of all, Dana Altman is nothing like Tom Osborne, other than the fact that he speaks in monotone during interviews--last I checked, he did not win two National Championships and is not considered one of the greatest college coaches of all time. All this aside, the biggest reason Creighton fan is a total fraud? Because every fall, they break out the red shirt and drive down to Lincoln every Saturday...because they're the biggest damned Husker fan in the world. Pick a side, asshole. Now, I am a member of a similar conundrum: I am a Husker fan through and through, but similarly, I am one of the biggest Kentucky basketball fans in the world. Big difference, though: I have always been extremely open about this fact (probably too open for most people around here), and I, as much as I make fun of Husker basketball, genuinely want them to succeed. Creighton fan inexplicitly hates Nebraska--during basketball season. This is horseshit. Bonus fraud points: Creighton fan similarly hates Nebraska baseball. However, as soon as the Huskers make their way to Omaha to play in the College World Series (yes, Creighton, it's true--playing your joke baseball team is not Nebraska's biggest game of the year like it is for you. It is a speed bump, at best.), there's 20,000 Husker fans running around Rosenblatt. Where do all these people come from? You guessed it: Omaha.
2. Creighton basketball games are a "place to be seen" here in Omaha. *gag* Ugg, I just puked in my mouth. For anyone who has been to a Creighton game, you know exactly what I am talking about. It is where the lawyers and doctors parade their happy ass little family around and drink $30 beers while the kiddies eat Thai food or whatever the fuck they serve at the Qwest Center. Get over yourself! These games are unbearable. There's 15,000+ people there, and you can hear a fucking pin drop. Because everyone is too busy glad-handing and talking about the kick-ass options they have on their new Lexus. Here's a thought: put down your Dippin' Dots, sit down in your cushy seat, put away your Kyle Korver Barbie-inspired bobble head that you paid $200 for on eBay, and watch the goddamned game. Yeah, the game! Remember--the reason all these people are at the arena? That's right! Yes, you absolutely can clap your hands! Feel free to get involved with the game!
3. Nate Funk and Kyle Korver. Sweet Jesus. Get these frat guys out of here. "Those guys are gutsy leaders who are just great shooters." Translation: we like it when pretty white boys are our best players. All you (still!) hear about is how great Nate Funk is and how unbelievable it is that they're still winning without him. "It's Dana's best coaching job yet!" Yet you don't hear Creighton fan talk about the fact that ol' Johnny Mathies is carrying the team this year, and is a better player than Nate Funk (and, weird--the guy is from Kentucky). I guess those cornrows scare the Omaha crowd a bit too much to acknowledge how good this guy is.
There are many, many more reasons to hate Creighton. And even though it is Friday, I do have to get back to work at some point, so I will leave it at three. Please, feel free to add to the madness in the comments!
I hate Creighton.
I'm serious. It is one of those deep, passionate hates. The "makes blood rush to your head and impair your judgment when you hear the name" hates.
Why do I care about Creighton? That, dear reader, is a great question. Because let's not kid ourselves--Creighton is nothing. Creighton vs. Drake? On a Saturday? The sound of that does not exactly wake the echoes of greatness, does it? I would rather stay at home and hit myself in the balls with a rubber mallet than watch a glorified high school game like that.But I do care. I have to care. I live in Omaha. I'm surrounded by it. And it is sickening. For several reasons:
1. Creighton fans are frauds. Yeah, I said it. Total frauds. Creighton fan is the guy who lives in Omaha and says things like "they play the game right," "Dana Altman is so much like Tom Osborne--he resonates with people in Nebraska," and "I really think Creighton can make some noise in the Big Dance."
First of all, don't say "the Big Dance," ever. Second of all, Dana Altman is nothing like Tom Osborne, other than the fact that he speaks in monotone during interviews--last I checked, he did not win two National Championships and is not considered one of the greatest college coaches of all time. All this aside, the biggest reason Creighton fan is a total fraud? Because every fall, they break out the red shirt and drive down to Lincoln every Saturday...because they're the biggest damned Husker fan in the world. Pick a side, asshole. Now, I am a member of a similar conundrum: I am a Husker fan through and through, but similarly, I am one of the biggest Kentucky basketball fans in the world. Big difference, though: I have always been extremely open about this fact (probably too open for most people around here), and I, as much as I make fun of Husker basketball, genuinely want them to succeed. Creighton fan inexplicitly hates Nebraska--during basketball season. This is horseshit. Bonus fraud points: Creighton fan similarly hates Nebraska baseball. However, as soon as the Huskers make their way to Omaha to play in the College World Series (yes, Creighton, it's true--playing your joke baseball team is not Nebraska's biggest game of the year like it is for you. It is a speed bump, at best.), there's 20,000 Husker fans running around Rosenblatt. Where do all these people come from? You guessed it: Omaha.
2. Creighton basketball games are a "place to be seen" here in Omaha. *gag* Ugg, I just puked in my mouth. For anyone who has been to a Creighton game, you know exactly what I am talking about. It is where the lawyers and doctors parade their happy ass little family around and drink $30 beers while the kiddies eat Thai food or whatever the fuck they serve at the Qwest Center. Get over yourself! These games are unbearable. There's 15,000+ people there, and you can hear a fucking pin drop. Because everyone is too busy glad-handing and talking about the kick-ass options they have on their new Lexus. Here's a thought: put down your Dippin' Dots, sit down in your cushy seat, put away your Kyle Korver Barbie-inspired bobble head that you paid $200 for on eBay, and watch the goddamned game. Yeah, the game! Remember--the reason all these people are at the arena? That's right! Yes, you absolutely can clap your hands! Feel free to get involved with the game!
3. Nate Funk and Kyle Korver. Sweet Jesus. Get these frat guys out of here. "Those guys are gutsy leaders who are just great shooters." Translation: we like it when pretty white boys are our best players. All you (still!) hear about is how great Nate Funk is and how unbelievable it is that they're still winning without him. "It's Dana's best coaching job yet!" Yet you don't hear Creighton fan talk about the fact that ol' Johnny Mathies is carrying the team this year, and is a better player than Nate Funk (and, weird--the guy is from Kentucky). I guess those cornrows scare the Omaha crowd a bit too much to acknowledge how good this guy is.
There are many, many more reasons to hate Creighton. And even though it is Friday, I do have to get back to work at some point, so I will leave it at three. Please, feel free to add to the madness in the comments!
Comments:
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Mike,
Who would you root for in basketball, Nebraska or Kentucky? Exactly. I don't get the difference, other than at least these Creighton fans have proximity on their side. And it's not just Mike, it goes for Todd with MSU, TJ with Duke (wtf?), and formerly me with Kansas until someone pointed out what a conflict of interest this was, causing me to go with strictly Huskers about 4 years ago.
I feel that you can root for another team, for instance I'm rooting for Villanova this year, they're awesome, but if they play Nebraska (not that they will), I will be pulling for the Skers. Any other action, I feel, is betrayal to one school or another.
It's disloyal to have two favorite college teams depending on what sport they're respectively good at, I guess that's my thesis, and I'm not preaching b/c up until fairly recently I was as guilty as anyone.
(hopping off pedestal)
Otherwise, though, Creighton fans are by and large socialite pricks who can blow me. Nice khakis. May their daughters' abortions be plentiful.
Who would you root for in basketball, Nebraska or Kentucky? Exactly. I don't get the difference, other than at least these Creighton fans have proximity on their side. And it's not just Mike, it goes for Todd with MSU, TJ with Duke (wtf?), and formerly me with Kansas until someone pointed out what a conflict of interest this was, causing me to go with strictly Huskers about 4 years ago.
I feel that you can root for another team, for instance I'm rooting for Villanova this year, they're awesome, but if they play Nebraska (not that they will), I will be pulling for the Skers. Any other action, I feel, is betrayal to one school or another.
It's disloyal to have two favorite college teams depending on what sport they're respectively good at, I guess that's my thesis, and I'm not preaching b/c up until fairly recently I was as guilty as anyone.
(hopping off pedestal)
Otherwise, though, Creighton fans are by and large socialite pricks who can blow me. Nice khakis. May their daughters' abortions be plentiful.
Thanks, johnny. Coming from someone who can list as their favorite movies on their profile "Airplane!" followed by "Schindler's List" is a-ok in my book.
Amen, brothers and sisters. The palpable passion and fury displayed in this post is fan-fucking-tastic. I agree that you can like multiple teams in different sports. It's not like Creighton fans have to give up liking college football because they don't have a team. However, I wish they would. I also wish that they would maim themselves with coat hangers and iPod cords. And kiss my left nut.
Like I said, Pete, it is different because I am still a Nebraska fan. You cannot love Nebraska football, then come to a Creighton game and root against the Husker basketball team.
Now, if it came down to UK playing Nebraska, you've got me, there is no question I'm rooting for Kentucky (basketball). However, I was brought up to love Kentucky basketball--the Nebraska side of my family didn't get to me until later. I don't have the memories of watching the Huskers as a kid, other than checking their score in the Sunday paper. Once I moved to Nebraska, coupled with the fact that I was a season-ticket holder for four glorious seasons while attending school there, is why I love Nebraska. It is not because I simply like them because they're a great college football team. You know that.
I respect your switch from KU basketball--see, that is a bit different. Same conference. They play 2-3 times a year. That said, I don't have to worry about this. The chances of Nebraska playing Kentucky in basketball in our lifetimes are about 10,000,000 to 1. So I don't ever really have to worry about this conflict of interest.
Oh, and Pete? This:
"May their daughters' abortions be plentiful."
is hands down the single-most offensive thing ever put on this blog, and I honestly don't know if it will ever be topped, either. But hey--records are made to be broken, right?
Now, if it came down to UK playing Nebraska, you've got me, there is no question I'm rooting for Kentucky (basketball). However, I was brought up to love Kentucky basketball--the Nebraska side of my family didn't get to me until later. I don't have the memories of watching the Huskers as a kid, other than checking their score in the Sunday paper. Once I moved to Nebraska, coupled with the fact that I was a season-ticket holder for four glorious seasons while attending school there, is why I love Nebraska. It is not because I simply like them because they're a great college football team. You know that.
I respect your switch from KU basketball--see, that is a bit different. Same conference. They play 2-3 times a year. That said, I don't have to worry about this. The chances of Nebraska playing Kentucky in basketball in our lifetimes are about 10,000,000 to 1. So I don't ever really have to worry about this conflict of interest.
Oh, and Pete? This:
"May their daughters' abortions be plentiful."
is hands down the single-most offensive thing ever put on this blog, and I honestly don't know if it will ever be topped, either. But hey--records are made to be broken, right?
This rant rules. SUCK IT CREIGHTON. There is no reason the largest school in Nebraska shouldn't have a better basketball team than Creighton.
Great post GA. To add to your list, not only are Creighton fans pompous asses in regard to their sports, but they also think their degrees come from Harvard or Brown, despite the fact that no one outside of Omaha could give a flying fuck that they graduated from there.
Now luca--while hilarious, you're going to hurt Big Boi's (one of our contributors) feelings!
Everyone else--these guys have a nice blog. I'll bookmark them on the front page, but here it is for now:
http://theoptionblog.blogspot.com/
Anytime you can work the phrase "The Option" into anything, it's going to kick ass in some way.
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Everyone else--these guys have a nice blog. I'll bookmark them on the front page, but here it is for now:
http://theoptionblog.blogspot.com/
Anytime you can work the phrase "The Option" into anything, it's going to kick ass in some way.
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