So Friday night my roommates and I had our annual summer bash. We do it out in the courtyard behind our place and basically terrorize the neighborhood. This year we had a pretty decent turn out and drank 3 kegs, 3 1.75s of of vodka and miscellaneous other things. That isn't the noteworthy part.

The theme of this years party was Kegs and Cutoffs. We basically got almost everyone who came to wear jean shorts. We also encouraged people to bring the cutoff legs of the jeans and we stapled them to our deck, truly a work of art. A good time was had by all, until the hate crime.

One of my buddies who was completely loaded had his shorts cut down into daisy dukes by a few girls at the end of the night. Apparently before he passed out, he decided he needed to go for a walk and get some fresh air. Next thing he knows, he is laying on park bench and a girl is shaking him. As he comes to, he realizes there are two guys with this girl and they start calling him a fagot and a homo, and telling him to go back to boys town. One of the guys then called him a "fucking fagot" as he punched him in the face twice. The Saturday morning fallout was a fat lip, swolen nose, and scraped up knees from when we boosted him onto the roof of the garage for some other drunken antics.

So the lesson, if you are a thin guy that puts gel in your hair, don't pass out on a park bench if you're wearing short jean shorts because you might get gay bashed.