Today I woke up at 8:30, with a hard on. You want to know why, tonight is the beginning of softball season. I call it spring training because it is co-ed, and really does not matter because half the team is female, but I am still going to get my cuts in.

So it is odd occurrence that I wake up prior to noon on Sunday, so little confused with what people do on Sunday morning. I got Holy, and filled a void that has not been touched since last fall. . .I brought out the bat bag and filled the bitch up.

Glove: Check
Bats: Check
Balls: Check
Hats: Check
Shoes with fresh socks: Check
Tylenol: Check
Cold Weather Clothing: Check
Bug Spray/Sun Screen: Check
Icy Hot: Only a half tin shit I need more.
2004 Jenna Jameson Penthouse: Missing, but replaced with a Playboy.

The pitcher in tonight’s league and the Wednesday men’s league is out until mid-June due to Tommy John’s surgery (I shit you not, our men’s slow pitch softball pitcher had Tommy John’s during the off season.) Anyways I got the call, I will be taking the rubber tonight, but I need supplies. So I will be heading to the sporting goods store this afternoon to purchase sliding shorts that can handle an athletic supporter. Fuck Yeah, where does wearing a cup rank in being a man. . .I will tell you were, right up at the top with puking rally’s, sliding in slow pitch softball, gambling, skinamax, Irish Whisky, and 14 hour binges.

I let everyone know how the game goes tonight, I am guessing that I will go three for four, with a single, two doubles, and a fielder’s choice. As for my pitching line, complete game, two K’s, four assists, and giving up six earned which is good for a win.