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Wednesday, September 05, 2007

From The Files Of Captain Obvious...

This headline, taken from CNN.com:

Study: Rock stars more likely to die young

From the article:

Researchers at Liverpool John Moores University, whose report appeared in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, studied a sample of North American and British rock and pop stars and concluded they are more than twice as likely to die a premature death as ordinary citizens of the same age.

Well, thank YOU, Liverpool John Moores University! I mean, Christ: did you really need to STUDY this?

I guess it should not be too surprising: the man who the University is named after--John Moores--made all his money from starting a sportsbook in England. So I am guessing that intellectual supremacy is not exactly on the docket at ol' John Moores; rather, they study cool shit like this. I can imagine the convo going something like this:

Student: "Professor, I have an idea for a study."
Prof.: "Go on..."
Student: "Well, you see--we all know that rock starts kick ass and burn out--never fade away, right?"
Prof.: "Umm hmmm..."
Student: Well, Professor, intellectuals like you and I know this, but how do we quantify this information?"
Prof.: "I think I see where you're going with this, Young Scholar!"
Student: "Let's do a University-funded study where we PROVE rock stars party hard and die young!"
Prof.: "Brilliant, Young Scholar! You know, Scholar, I sometimes sit around and feel like I am stealing getting paid for this job. And with this study? Well, I may as well be. Let's go off for some tea and crumpets!"

Anyways, happy Wednesday.

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