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Thursday, January 17, 2008

In Billy I Trust?

It's official: the firesale is on in Oakland. Old news.

Breaking news: I'm kinda ok with it all.

Yes, the All-Star game starter and ace of the team, Dan Haren is now in Phoenix. Fan favorite Nick Swisher is gone, too. Have fun with him, Napa. For good measure, the oft-injured, but undeniable clubhouse leader, Mark Kotsay was traded to Hotlanta. EZT, congrats on the acquisition.

Don't cry for me baseball fans. I've seen this whole thing before. Lots of times. Mark McGwire, Jason Isringhausen, Keith Foulke, Miguel Tejada, Johnny Damon, Jermaine Dye, Jason Giambi, Ramon Hernandez, Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder, Barry Zito, and now these guys. No worries. I'm used to it.

This works out quite nicely, actually. I like being the underdog. No expectations. Steal a couple from the Angels here and there. This team is going to shape up into a scrappy bunch of SOBs. Blue collar. Blue Ribbon.

Here's why:

C, Kurt Suzuki. I absolutely love this dude. Imagine Shane Komine circa 2001. Now put that same competitiveness behind the plate. Dude is sick defensively and unlike most prospects, he has gone from minus power in the minors to showing a decent amount of pop in his 70 games last season.

1B, Daric Barton. Can absolutely rake the ball. Came over in the Mulder trade. Was a catcher in the minors. Is the definitive reason Nick Swisher was expendable. Reminds me of the Yankee first baseman in Major League. Will be a clubhouse and fan favorite.

2B, Mark Ellis. A rich man's David Eckstein. From Rapid City. Set the fielding percentage record for AL second basemen two seasons ago. Was robbed of the Gold Glove. Solid vet.

SS, Bobby Crosby. Bing's grandson (I may need to fact check that, but I want it to be true). Was a Dirtbag at Long Beach State. Cannot stay healthy. Likely to be the next traded to make way for Cliff Pennington. And I don't think I'm alone in saying that there needs to be a strong resurgence in the popularity of the name Cliff.

3B, Eric Chavez. I have his autograph. He likes younger women. He wins Gold Gloves and underachieves. Still love the guy.

OF, Travis Buck. ASU CWS hero who needs a haircut but shouldn't get one. Runs into walls like he's in one of those inflatable carnival castles.

P, Joe Blanton. Kentucky kid and grad who would rather arm wrestle you than strike you out. Eats as many innings as he does White Castle sliders. Speaking of sliders, his isn't too bad either. Firy sombitch.

DH, Dan Johnson. He went to Nebraska. After last season, that's about the only reason I can love him. Am glad he did not get traded though.

OF, Javier Herrera. I know nothing about this kid except that he is The Juevos. That is, The Balls. 7-tool player. What are the other two, says you? I'm glad you asked. Ball movement and court vision. Don't you ever underestimate those two. It's a shame they aren't more recognized.

Reason to worry:

CF, Chris Denorfia. What. The. Fuck? Chris Denorfia? Really? REALLY? Billy Beane, you couldn't find anyone else to play centerfield? What's Jeff Leise doing? Hell, what's Ryan Hildebrand doing? 2007 stats: DNP. Did not play due to Tommy John surgery. And I was just going to laud him for being 2006 Baseball America's best minor league defensive outfielder. I wonder if Rickey Henderson would come back if I asked him.

So, we got a bunch of talented young arms. Yippee. It was a much needed boost to the farm system. Now we can get back to being the American League Montreal Expos! Let's Go Green!

Cliff Pennington? That name is absolutely f-ing awesome.
"Dude is sick defensively and unlike most prospects, he has gone from minus power in the minors to showing a decent amount of pop in his 70 games last season."

Can I help you with editing here? I think you meant to say:

"...unlike most prospects THAT DON'T USE STEROIDS, he has gone from minus power to a decent amount of pop..."

That's better.
You forgot:

OF, Emil Brown. He once shot a reporter in the eye with a pellet gun which was only the second worst thing he did to a reporter that year after making one write down Emil saying crazy things about how he's faster than Carl Crawford and one of the best OFs in all of baseball. Moody, often confused.
Fuck Chavez, he screwed over Randa a number of times for Gold Gloves
Cliff Pennington, oh the heckling he got from me in his recent aTm baseball days....
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