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Friday, April 18, 2008

Cowherd Finally Adds Something to My Life

So I was listening to Colin Cowherd this morning on the way to work and heard his bit on inappropriate children's book names. I couldn't stop laughing for like twenty minutes. Here's a sample:

-The Magical World Inside the Abandoned Fridge
-Pop Goes the Hamster and Other Great Microwave Games
-You ARE Different and That's Bad
-Dad's New Wife: Robert
-The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
-Grandpa Gets a Casket
-That's it, I'm Putting You up for Adoption
-Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet be Friends

So I've been trying to think of other such titles and here's a tentative list:

1) Putting Matches in Gasoline and Other Fun Afternoon Projects
2) The Submarine Controlled by the Knobs on the Stove
3) Daddy Drinks Because You're Naughty
4) Where You Came From and Other Tales from the Back of a Car
5) The Exorcist: Kids' Edition
6) Skin Carving Activities for Kids (by Charlie Manson)
7) Winnie the Pooh Gets Hodgkin's Disease
8) Sesame Street Presents: Bert Sodomizes Ernie
9) A Preteen's Guide to Home Abortions

Yes, I know I am a terrible person.

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