The more I look at the previous post, the more I believe it to be the most ridiculous post in the history of Heavysoul. Even more ridiculous than all those times GA said that every GM in baseball would take Prior over Oswalt. I figured I would break down the ridiculousness line by line.

Our Guy Is Fatter
No he’s not, and that includes both fat and phat.

This Week’s NL Player of the Week is the Cubs’ Alfonso Soriano.
Cool. Alfonso won a POW. Berkman’s already won two without being mentioned. You know why? Cause this reward is stupid. The guy who has the best week is generally a player who faced the worst pitching.

Let’s compare Soriano’s past week with Lance Berkman’s POW week from the previous week
Why? What does that prove? If your guy is fatter, why try and distort the numbers? The season isn’t even 2 months old, why not pull their numbers for the entire season? I will tell ya why, cause Soriano sucked ass the first month and then had a phenominal week in which he torched bad pitching. Instead of pulling what Berkman did one week in April and comparing it to a week in which Soriano hit over 50% of his RBI’s and 70% of his HR’s for the season, here are there stats thus far:

Berkman: .389 BA .467 OBP .784 SLG 16 HR 44 RBI 8 SB 1.251 OPS
Soriano: .282 BA .327 OBP .514 SLG 10 HR 26 RBI 3 SB .845 OPS

Now I see why you compared these two. Berkman’s numbers are gaudy, but once you line them up against another premier hitter in the league they become inhuman. His OPS is over .400 points higher.

Oh, and the Cubs have the 2nd-best record in baseball, with a (for this early in the season) comfy 2.5 games ahead of the Astros.
Lot of funny things here. First of all, it’s May. Second of all, it’s 2.5 games. The Astro’s were 15 games under .500 in May and made the World Series in 2005. At this time last year, of the three teams leading their division (LA, NY, MIL) none of them made the playoffs. 2.5 games in May. Guess the Astros should pack it in. There is no way they can make up that comfy 2.5 games with 120 games remaining. Impossible.

Eat it.
My favorite line. An excellent way to puncuate your made up stats. You showed me. Soriano is having a way better year. Forget the fact that Berkman is almost batting .400 while chasing the triple crown (has that ever happened?), Soriano’s 4 homeruns in 3 games against the worst pitching team in baseball is by far more impressive.

Labels: Berkman is good, Soriano is good against bad pitching