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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Two Quick Onion Links

These are two of the best Onion headlines I have seen in a long time. One is from this month, but the other one is from last year. That said, I don't care, because it is hilarious.

The first one is for Napa:

Staten Island Historians Piece Together Genealogy Of Wu-Tang Clan

[Staten Island historian Charles] Tinsley was quick to note, however, that
the total number of Wu-Tang descendants was impossible to calculate, and could
very well reach into the tens of thousands.

"While the Clan is generally associated with tales of conquest,
slaughter, and 'bringing da motherfuckin' ruckus,' it must also be noted that
its members were prolific lovers who expanded the empire by sowing their seed
all across the country," Tinsley said. "Who knows, perhaps my very own children
are direct descendants of Ghostface Killah."

The other one I find just hilarious, simply because I have had the same thought approximately 10,000 times:

Even CEO Can't Figure Out How RadioShack Still In Business

Despite having been on the job for nine months, RadioShack CEO Julian Day
said Monday that he still has "no idea" how the home electronics store manages
to stay open.

"There must be some sort of business model that enables this company to
make money, but I'll be damned if I know what it is," Day said. "You wouldn't
think that people still buy enough strobe lights and extension cords to support
an entire nationwide chain, but I guess they must, or I wouldn't have this desk
to sit behind all day."

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