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Friday, April 03, 2009

2009 Baseball Preview

As the Knicks' spent all of April channeling their innermost Billy Joel and crashing their season away, my attention turned not to spring football, which I don't really care about, but to the prospects of another summer of baseball. But thanks to the continued intellect of Bud Selig and the gigantic fucking wankfest that was the World Baseball Classic, it seems as though it's harder than ever to get jacked about the season. Well, I'm jacked.

And for those of you scoring at home we will once again be at Barrett's Barleycorn for opening day games, and you all should come out. Support the Royals, Cubs, Astros, Twins, etc.

A few predictions to whet your appetite for 162 games of great times.


NL West-Dodgers over DBacks
NL Central-Cubs over Cardinals
NL East-Mets over Phillies
Wild Card: Phillies

NL Champ: Mets over Phillies
MVP: David Wright
Cy Young: Carlos Zambrano (or Johan Santana)


AL East-DRays over Yankees
AL Central-Twins over Indians (then Royals, Tigers, White Sox)
Al West-Angels over A's
Wild Card-Yankees
NL Champ: Angels over DRays
MVP-Evan Longoria
Cy Young: CC Sabathia

World Series: Mets over DRays

Random Predictions:

1. Mark DeRosa, one of my five favorite players in the league, will really piss me off now that he's with the Indians.

2. Carlos Zambrano will be suspended for an incident this year but win the Cy Young anyway.

3. Mike "Little Babe Ruth" Fontenot will not mash like last year but will still OPS .900.

4. The Cubs fans will not like the Milton Bradley signing in August.

5. A. Peterson will spring for a Farnsworth jersey despite his hatred.

6. The Royals will be within 10 games of first place by August 1.

7. The Twins will win the division despite Joe Mauer never being fully healthy.

8. The Twins will have the best defensive outfield in baseball...despite having Delmon Young there.

9. Kevin Slowey, Scott Baker, and Franchise Liriano will combine to win 45 games.

10. The Astros will fucking blow, despite Mayfield telling me in earnest last week they were going to win the division.

11. The Fukudome signing will set Japanese-American relations back farther than Pokemon and Hello Kitty combined.

12. The White Sox will battle it out with the Tigers for last place.

13. The Tigers will literally have less than 5,000 fans at a game this year.

14. Brian Duensing will not stay with the Twins all season.

15. The Nebraska baseball team is and will continue to have its "7 and 7" year followed by Mike Anderson starting next year fighting for his job.

16. I will purchase the baseball package and enjoy the holy hell out of it while saving money from not going to the bar every third day in the process.

Enjoy it, everyone.

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The Astros are going to have a fire sale sometime in June, if not earlier. McLane wouldn't let the GM spend as much as previously promised this winter and I wouldn't be surprised if they're out of it by the middle of May.
Instead of cashing out all my superbowl winnings, I loaded up on Astro's future bets. How are the Astros going to suck? Who did they lose? This team went 36-16 in the second half of the season before Selig f'd em. Oh, and they did a lot of that winning without Carlos Lee. Their starting catcher last year batted like .165 so I don't think adding Pudge is exactly going to hurt this team. Bottom line, their lineup is one of the best, their bullpen might be the best, and they have one of the best Aces in baseball. This team will be over .500 mid way through and will add a #2 pitcher (the only hole left on this team). Tejada's court problems have also been set to rest. It's gonna be a good year for the Stro's.
Watch for the A's to have an awful spring and then rely on some aging former stars to pull them through to the wildcard.
Good Christ.

Astros PECOTA projected record:


You do this every year.
Well then, last year they won 86 games. What have they done to drop so many games?
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