called V.O.G.S standing for "Victims of Golden Showers"

That's right boys, yours truly was the victim of a very sick drunken act this past weekend. Let's play out the night in chronological order starting Saturday morning.

11 AM - EZT arrives at LAX after my plane gets cancelled the night before
11:30 AM - get to hotel room and pound 4 beers by noon that Gage and the Deuce put on ice for me
Noon- the Mrs. and EZT meet aforementioned friends at a local establishments for a beer and a jager bomb
Noon:05 - Mrs. EZT makes first of many warnings throughout the day that she doesn't want to meet "Roadtrip TJ" that day and that Gage, Deuce and myself should slow down a bit
Noon:06 - wife is ignored
1:00 - board Hummer limo to game...consume many beers and a shot of whiskey
2:00 - go to crappy alumni association tailgate with $5 beers where we all blow a shit ton of money
4:00 - Walk around tailgates and head to the game, Gage leads us to EZT's ex rat bitch for a gf's tailgate, she has no beer...not weird, i'm sure she still hates fun.
4:30 head into the Coliseum very intoxicated but sure that the Huskers are going to win..
4:33 - make numerous attempts to call my bookie unsuccessfully (good thing i was thinking the Husker money line was a good bet)
5:00 to 9:30 are boring and annoying mostly due to the game so we will skip that time period and this is where it starts to get good.
9:30-1:30 - EZT, Gage, and the Deuce do a number on a very large bar tab with the help of a couple other friends. 3 car bombs and about 15 RBV's a piece later we leave the bar and walk 8 blocks or so back to our hotel....very, very drunk
1:45 - Gage and Joel Williams properly execute the side-by-side puke in the bushes
2:00 - find random drunken husker fan passed out in the middle of hotel hallway
2:01-2:15 search frantically for marker to pimp the aforementioned...can't find one so i decide a pen will work, press to hard on kid's face and he wakes up, gives me a look like he thinks i just tried to kill him and scrambles off.
2:15-3:30 consume after hours beers and pass out next to wifey...gage passed out in a chair i believe and the Deuce takes the other bed...just a couple feet away from me
4:46 - wake to wifey yelling and screaming at me and the Deuce
4:46:33 - realize Todd-e-o is standing above me with wee wee in hand
4:46:35 - realize whole left side of my torso is wet and that the sheets are soaked
4:46:36 - realize from pissing sounds that Deuce thinks i am a toilet and that wifey is currently shielding the stream away from me with the comforter
4:47:13 - Begin to get slapped with high arm swing motion from Todd-eo, soon realize he is trying to flush me
4:48:00 - get my senses and with wifey's help get out of bed as quickly as possible and run to shower.
4:52 - come back to the room to find Todd passed out in his own piss bed
4:53 - wifey and EZT sleep in the other dry bed
7:00 AM - alarm goes off...yell at the Deuce to get up and get to the airport, don't mention the happenings of the night before.
7:30 Todd get out of the shower and gets packed up. Ask's Gage if he by chance dumped water on him after he passed out because he woke up in a wet bed
7:32 - wifey and EZT can't hold laughter any longer and tell Big Boi of the previous nights wanderings, reenact flushing motions.
9:06 - receive text message from the Deuce saying "Sorry for peeing on you"
9:08 - wifey tells me that she got a great view of Todd's package and that mine is much bigger
9:09 - realize two things, todd must be hung like a mouse and that i am very lucky i took the money shot instead of wifey or else i might not be still married.

And to think that many of you turned down the chance to be a part of all of this.

Please spread the word about my new victims group, i am sure there are many people out there that need some assistance in dealing with the shame and embarrassment of taking a golden shower from a good friend of yours or a random one night stand hook up.
Sincerely,
EZT
Founder and Chairman
V.O.G.S