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Monday, March 31, 2008

Opening Day at Barrett's: A half-assed live blog

3:25: OK, OC, sambuca, and napa have been here since, oh, 11. They've had to refill the Coors Light twice. Welcome to Opening Day!

3:28: Hales informs us that Mark Grudzielanek was signed by the Royals "for his glove, and certainly not his bat."

Grudzy has a .289 career batting average, and 5 seasons have hit over .300--including 2003 with the Cubs, where he received 27 votes for MVP. In other words: Hales makes shit up and tries speaking as though it were fact.

3:35: Looks like the tarp is coming up again at Wrigley. Good times!

3:42: We discuss in what different ways Hales is going to hell. There are a lot of reasons, sadly.

3:57: It's B from Exit 177! A welcome addition. Oh, and Felix Pie just struck out again. Stunning. It's also weird how much he looks like Corey Patterson.

3:49: The Royals are in first place! Alex Gordon with the final put out, not to mention a homer. Oh, and Grudzy went 3-4 with a HBP. Thank God they've got his glove this year.

4:01: Watching the White Sox/Indians game on TV2. The new Indians' uniforms are unbelievably awesome.

4:02: WGN's new HD is...well, put it this way: the highlights of Ernie Banks they showed during the delay looked better. Ugg.

4:04: Prince Fielder's chew in his mouth is about as big as his gut. It's a beautiful thing.

4:12: Forgot to mention: Hales and OC have dirty staches. Hales has been permanently referred to as "Trooper Hales."

4:13: Only the second "Major League" reference of the day: Soriano weakly grounds out to first, followed by a chorus of "who does he think he is, Willie Mays Hayes?" The first one came with the revelation that one of the Royals' pitchers threw a perfect game in the Mexican League last year...which of course was met with "Is that you, Tolbert?"

4:16: D-Lee just ran into Zambrano going for a pop up, which led to Sgt. Hales saying that Lee "will probably get a Columbian neck tie" from Big Z. No one in the room really blinked, and generally accepted it as truth.

4:18: Bill Hall just hit a ball that hit the bottom of the basket in the outfield. Len Kasper lets the viewing audience--desperately looking for commentary--know that "the ball has to be hit exactly like that to hit the bottom of the basket." Looks like Len and Bob are in mid-season form!

4:28: Lame moment of the day: I have to go to class pretty quick. Chances of this live blog continuing after class: 4%. Not too good. Looking forward to seeing everyone blind-drunk when I get back, though. Enjoy the rest of the day!

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