Tuesday, March 18, 2008
In other news, the sky is blue
In the least interesting and predictable item the Weird Herald has published since Mike Kelley's last column, some unlucky bastard got a DUI at 7:20 AM on St. Patty's Day.
St. Patty's Day or not, it's Monday at 7:20 AM. That's something to tell the grandkid's about.
What I find most remarkable is not the perpetrator's utter ignorance to drinking and driving on such a heavily patrolled holiday, but the fact that Omaha has a law in place, I believe, that means establishments can't begin to serve alcohol until 6AM.
This means our drunken assailant on the roadways did one of three things:
a. Began drinking at a private residence before 6AM
b. Managed to get himself over the legal limit in a timeframe that could not have exceeded longer than 1 hour and 20 minutes. On a Monday morning. Between 6 and 7:20. Jesus.
c. is Robert Downey Jr.
Congrats on your milestone, drunken Omaha bastard!
St. Patty's Day or not, it's Monday at 7:20 AM. That's something to tell the grandkid's about.
What I find most remarkable is not the perpetrator's utter ignorance to drinking and driving on such a heavily patrolled holiday, but the fact that Omaha has a law in place, I believe, that means establishments can't begin to serve alcohol until 6AM.
This means our drunken assailant on the roadways did one of three things:
a. Began drinking at a private residence before 6AM
b. Managed to get himself over the legal limit in a timeframe that could not have exceeded longer than 1 hour and 20 minutes. On a Monday morning. Between 6 and 7:20. Jesus.
c. is Robert Downey Jr.
Congrats on your milestone, drunken Omaha bastard!
Labels: Barrett's Barelycorn, DUIs, Omaha World-Herald, St. Patrick's Day
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