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Thursday, December 28, 2006

Do You Like...

Beer Die, Beer Pong, Chug and Flip, and other assorted drinking games? If this sounds like something you are into, then you should not waste anytime with various lack-luster New Years parties and make your way to my humble abode!!! It is panning out to be the worst idea ever and the reason for why rehab exsist. So please start the New Year off on the wrong foot and possibly trip over yourself in a pool of vomit.

I hope everyone is there because I like drinking.

Hales

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Oh So Funny, Pt. II

This is awesome: the cast of Scrubs doing their own version of "A Charlie Brown Christmas." It is just 10 minutes of "CBC" with JD starring as Charlie Brown. And it has some good "not suitable for TV" comedy.

I do realize that it is, in fact, a day after Christmas. But it is hilarious, and you'll be happy you watched it.

Oh so funny

I know that this was the topic of convo among some blog participants the other night when out drinking and watching indie rock bands, but, in case you weren't there, the "Dick in the Box" sketch from SNL two weeks ago was hilarious, it is easily the funniest thing I have seen on SNL in 3 years, including Lazy Sunday, which is 2nd.

Predictably, the rest of the episode was horrible, unless you ask MIB. However, you should view this clip immediately:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5grqhj1b8

I suggest SNL should fire all of their writers except this guy, and then condense the show to two or three of his skits a week and some music, of artists this guy picks. And I hope that Andy Samberg comes through, looks like he could be a legitimate star of the show. Can't wait till he goes Kattan on me.

A (Not So) Funky Christmas: RIP James Brown


Christmas 2006 will always have a very sad undertone: James Brown--The Godfather of Soul--died. To many, James Brown is probably some sort of cartoon-like image. From "Livin' In America" on, what with all the drug charges and woman problems. But it would be a grave mistake to write James Brown off as some crazy old singer.

Brown is one of the most influential artists of the past 50 years--undeniably one of the true legends of popular music. He is certainly the most influential R&B/Soul/Funk artist of all time. His incredibly tight beats and deep grooves had no peers, and can be found frequently in todays hip-hop (he holds the unofficial title of the most sampled artist of all time).

As President Bush said yesterday, he was an "American original." And possibly the most underrated artist of all time.

Monday, December 25, 2006

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas, everyone. And be thankful--we're all incredibly lucky in some way or another, and I *Emotional GA alert* am certainly more than thankful for all of you and your friendship.

And no, not too much eggnog. Just drunk on the ol' Christmas Spirit!

Friday, December 22, 2006

More than the state motto

The Good Life is a helluva band. Last night at The Saddle Creek Bar, they put on a phenomenal show. They played new material for the first half of the set and it is some of the best stuff they've ever played. Seriously. Can't wait for tomorrow night.

Holiday’s

What is going on this holiday season, who is going to be in Omaha, and are their any plans for New Years?

With Strom Thurmond getting up there in years..

it's good to see the Republican party trying to replace him with another racist Congressman. I've been finding this story to be disturbing on so many levels over the last week. And I still get visibly mad thinking about it.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/politics/la-na-muslim22dec22,1,6491840.story?coll=la-news-politics-national&track=crosspromo

The fact that I haven't read anything about the Republican party trying to control this ass is beyond me. But I guess they did just bring Trent Lott back into power.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Pete's Official Rocky Balboa review

As promised, I made the opening-night trek to theatre #1 at Cinema Center (the only place in Omaha to watch a big movie. Comfy chairs, huge screen, best popcorn, great atmosphere. Makes big movies seem like major events) to catch the sixth and (presumably) final installment of the Rocky series.

The verdict: It delivers as a sendoff, and is slightly better than good. About a 7.3 out of 10. If you're expecting Citizen Kane, it's probably not going to happen. This is Rocky, and it's plot is simplistic and does require you to turn your brain off. Once you do, good times roll and you really do enjoy not just this movie, but everything Rocky symbolizes from 1976 on.

The pros:
The supporting cast is compelling.
There are some past surprises and new characters and most of them bring things to the table. Great Philadelpia shots and of course, Bill Conti's awesome score.
The dynamic between Rocky and son is interesting, I would have liked more of this.
Stallone looks great, and the movie doesn't just assume that AARP Rocky is going to be just like the old Rocky and kick everyone's ass while saving the free world in the process.
The storyline, while asking you to make a few leaps into its reality, is not so unrealistic you question whether or not it's believable.
Not once did I raise my bullshit flag, which is amazing considering how skeptical I was when I heard this movie was being made.

The cons:
MAJOR slow start, the first 10 minutes are pretty bad.
The antagonist, Antonio Tarver, was not developed enough. You don't like him or hate him, he's just there.
Burt Young (Paulie) is 85 years old.
Not enough or Rocky and son, which I felt their dynamic was interesting, the movie briefly explores what it must be like to be the offspring of a local institution or icon, and this should have been more of the storyline in my opinion.
Rocky doesn't chase chickens in this one, nor does he shift his Ferrari 72 times in one mile.

Bottom line: If you like Rocky flicks, which I must say that I am a huge fan, this is required viewing. You HAVE to see it. If you are a casual fan, I would still recommend it. If you've never seen a Rocky movie, don't start with this one.

Excuse me, I've got to go drink some raw egg yolks.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Spring Training 2007


Yes, friends, it is back on and popping: Spring Training 2007! Due to some nuptials that were taking place in 2006, the ball got dropped on this trip. Not anymore!

We're heading back to beautiful Mesa this year to bask in the glory of what is spring baseball. Sun, beers, dirty dogs, and superstars playing for an inning or two...smells like heaven to me, boys.

The Goods is off on Spring Break from March 11-18th, so it is looking like a Wednesday March 14th evening departure, returning on Sunday the 18th. So go ahead and clear out your schedules, and more transmissions will follow on further details.

I don't know about you, but GA Hill is so excited, GA Hill has broken into third person. Woo!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Pencil me in for...

...a ticket to "Rocky Balboa" this week. I've actually talked myself into this. I feel like Rocky and I have been through quite a bit over the years and I owe the Italian Stallion this one.

Plus Stallone, at 60, looks good enough to make it believable. Thoughts?

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Decline of a Civilization: Pt. 1,329,458

Good Christ, look at this shit salad CBS has given the American Public:

ARMED & FAMOUS

Here are the "celebraties" who become cops (for real!) in Muncie, Indiana: Erik Estrada, Jack Osborne, LaToya Jackson, Trish Stratus, and Wee Man.

I want to know what asshole network exec green-lighted this shit. I also wouldn't mind a list of names and numbers of people that actually tune in to this debacle, so I can call everyone of them and let them know--just in case--they are losers.

UPDATE 3:00: Oh my Lord...on NBC right now there is "Michael Bolton: A Tribute On Ice." I wish I could make up things like this. Wynona Judd was singing when I switched it to that channel. The big question is: how the hell do you do a tribute to Michael Bolton when every "hit" the douce had was a butchering of a formerly classic soul song?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Pete Says Screw You, Some Anonymous Husker Fans!

This actually beats me to the punch, so I'll just post this anyway: The real lesson here is that most Nebraska fans are fucking losers that need to get a life.
I don't disagree that the 95 Huskers were the best team ever, but the fact of the matter is sadly that most people have better things to do than vote on this crap, except in Nebraska. In Florida, , Michigan, Ohio, Texas, and California, where there have been plenty of good teams over the years, no one gives a FUCK. It's just you. Congrats, you won...nothing!
I guarantee there were thousands of people in this state that were going to sit there and right click on this thing for hours until Nebraska won. If your life depends on this kind of thing, you're a retard.
I love Nebraska football, but I didn't even know this was going on. The people that voted for this need to fucking get some perspective. It's a fucking survey on some shit ass website that doesn't mean shit. And an accompanying video of someone basically saying that it was rigged for Nebraska to win: guess what? he's right!
They did the same thing with that stupid ass mascot with Mastercard or whatever last year. You people are losers, and thanks to you we have a homosexual in a red German Nowtizki discotechque shirt parading around Lincoln as the nation's best mascot. You know why? Because of the fucking loser Nebraska fans in this state that think this shit matters.
I do blame Herbstreit and ESPN for perpetuating this kind of dumb shit year after year because it seems to validate participation in it, but I'm going to make a new rule. If you're not at a bar drinking while making irrational points about 20 year old boys who played college football decades ago, then don't have the fucking conversation.
And for christ's sake, do not get some sort of pride for voting yourself as the All time Team or what the fuck ever. No one else cares.
It's like if George W. Bush wins and election because he was able to vote for himself more times than the other candidate. That would be fucking stupid, and so is this shit.

Herbstreit is a whiny little Biotch

cry me a river Herby!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

You think you know a guy



Napa you sum bitch I did not know your pen name was Chuck Klosterman

Monday, December 11, 2006

Lemonade out of Lemons

I attended a horribly played Chiefs game yesterday. Highlights include:

Puking on the drive to KC
Seeing Fantasy point accumulate live
Smoking in the concourse
Seeing Ed Hochuli manage a game live

Lemonade out of Lemons

I attended a horribly played Chiefs game yesterday. Highlights include:

Puking on the drive to KC
Seeing Fantasy point accumulate live
Smoking in the concourse
Seeing Ed Hochuli manage a game live

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Must See TV

So what does everyone think of the new lineup? I--shocker--find it fantastic. It is the first time since Seinfeld was on that there literally was a night that is completely worth staying home for. A couple of thoughts:

--Scrubs: Can we possibly discuss the hook-handed millionaire afro'ed security officer in the pantheon of classic limited characters? I mean, he is in the same category of the Masturbating Bears of the world, isn't he?

--Scrubs: Dr. Cox's hair. Look--it pains me to offer any sort of ill-will towards anyone with a head of curly locks, but...come on, dude! John C., my man--how are you supposed to be a bad ass with highlighted long curls...

--30 Rock: I've said it before, it's premier episode was God-awful. That said, it gets exponentially better each episode. Tonight's featured a cameo with Conan O'Brien, and led to the following exchange with Alec Baldwin:

AB: "We can either do this the easy way, or the hard way."
CO: "What's the hard way?"
AB: "You do a live Christmas Eve special from Cabo every year until the War on Terror is over."
CO: "Tell Tracy I'll see him tonight. You black Irish bastard."
AB: "Back at you, Red."

And this one:

Tracey Morgan, referring to being a dad: "I walk around the house naked, so I can remind my oldest son who has the biggest ding dong."

--My Name Is Earl: still awesome.

--The Office: Somehow gets better every week. How is this even possible? Seriously? The situations continue to get more extreme, yet somehow don't really seem like it. I don't know, it is just so good. And Ed Helms' character vs. Dwight Schrute is just over the top and fantastic.

Hold up. I just saw a preview of a show called "The One That I Want." It is a reality show where America chooses who will play the leads of the new production of Grease on Broadway. I will now bash my head into the nearest wall available. Just when I am pimping how great TV has become all of a sudden, they pull this shit. Fuck it. I hate pop culture.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

The Greatest Bar...Ever (?)

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingI am happy to report that I learned one thing from my trip to Vegas the past three days: a real bar does exist there. Not only is it a real bar, but it may be the most badass bar ever. The Double Down Saloon--the self-proclaimed "Happiest Place On Earth"--just may be. Completely painted and punk-rock-stickered, with the finest punk rock/rockabilly juke box in the world, the (strangely/suprisingly) coolest/nicest roughly 40-year-old dude bartender, and video poker at each spot at the bar, I don't know that it gets better.

Their calling cards--besides the good (relatively normal) people and creepy ambiance--are as follows:

1. The offer puke insurance. If you think you're going to puke, pay the bartender $20, and they will clean it up for you. Because if you do not, you clean it yourself.

2. As you will see if you click on the link, some of their selling points include "Drink*Smoke*Gamble," "WE NEVER CLOSE," "Vivid chaotic and psychedelic murals covering every inch of walls and ceiling provide the backdrop, while disturbing videos come at you from all directions. Videos so insane they once made Timothy Leary turn blue (shortly before he actually turned blue)," etc. And, trust me, the videos are truly insane.

3. Their two signature drinks: Ass Juice and Bacon Martinis. And, as a special addition for the holiday season, Holiday Ass Juice! Ass Juice looks like it sounds--like someone peed out of their butt into a liquor bottle. And Holiday Ass Juice kicks it up a notch: the same ass-looking liquid with CREAM CORN added. The bartender told us that each bartender whips up a batch as their last duty on their shift, and they can put anything in it that they want as long as it is 1. 100% booze (unless you include cream corn) and 2. it does not include premium liquors. And what is weirder is that the result is something that tastes like a kamakazee--suprisingly sweet and good. As for the Bacon Martini...well, pretty self-explainitory. It is bacon-infused vodka (there are probably 12 strips of bacon just floating in the bottle), and they chill it and put it in a shitty old martini glass. And it tastes like you are drinking bacon. It's not so good. But damn funny.

4. The stickers are generally punk rock and cool, but one sealed the deal for me personally: I *heart* Mormon Pussy. Yes, you read that right. And that is all it said. Wow.

Everything else in Vegas is pretty much the same, but at least I have somewhere to look forward to if I go there again. What a great bar.

White collar crime...

I just found out we are expected to wear ties to our company Christmas party tomorrow. As if the fact that it coincides with the Browns game wasn't enough, I now have to dress up excessively.

Thank god I live in Omaha and there is (of course) a dive bar next door that will no doubt allow me to watch from the 2nd Quarter on, however I will be doing so in slacks and a collared shirt. Lame.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Sucks to be Michigan

Anyone else think Florida jumping Michigan is bullshit? I don’t see how you can say Michigan is better than Florida for the past 8 weeks or so and then change your mind when A. Michigan didn’t even play and B. Florida beat an Arkansas team that already had 2 losses. If USC doesn’t lose do you think the voters would have still moved Florida ahead of Michigan? Of course they wouldn’t have but with the USC loss they had the power to play match maker. Oh well, I hate Michigan anyway.

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