My new blog is going to be over before it started. I like this guy's concept so much more that I just feel inadequate now....

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/A/APN_1000_BARS?SITE=NNCO&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT
http://thousandbars.blogspot.com/

Seriously, I can't even compete.

I'm going to start another blog that lists the name and town of every bar I've ever been to, along with the date of my first attendance. No other information will be provided, but I will allow it to be ordered on bar name, town, or date.

What do you think?

1. Get away day - Why is it so hard to work before a 3 day weekend?

2. N.P. Mini-Golf - I'm heartbroken by Big Boi's post about the state of the course. That place is like a shrine to me, and should be treated as such. If I saw the course right now, I might understand the Odysseus felt upon returning to his castle.

3. Wilco is the best rock band right now, I don't care what Coldplay says about themselves.

4. I don't care how mainstream it is, it is not cool to make Star Wars references.....ever.

5. If you ever notice the show "The Deadliest Catch" on the Discovery Channel give it a watch. It's a documentary about king and opelia crab fishing in the Beiring Sea, and it's just insane. Maybe I'll explain further at another time.

Alright, quick update on the Chi-city-Cincy-Chi-city trip I'm on.

1. I am 7-0 going to Cubs games over the last two seasons. Not sitting in the bleachers was, suprisingly, not too bad. Also, Jeromy Burnitz had the big hit in the 8th on Tuesday. I still hate him.
2. npgage and I can have a conversation consisting of the exact same situation using the exact same arguments for approximately two hours.
3. Great American Ballpark is the nicest stadium I have ever been to. Would I rather go to Wrigley? Of course. But the Club Seating there was just out of this world. I will post pictures next week sometime.
4. COMMON, "Be" came out on Tuesday. It is currently fighting for the #1 album in the country, which is shocking. But the Virgin Megastore on Michigan Ave. sold over 50 before noon. They are predicting that he will have sold 250K-300K copies in the first week, which is just shocking. But there is no more deserving MC out there--and the album is all that I cracked it out to be.
5. Speaking of Common, number #4,585 reason I want to live in Chicago: Common and the Roots will be playing in Chicago for a combined 6 times over the next week. I'll give you a wild estimate of how many times they will play in Nebraska over the next 10 years: zero.
6. Chicago-style hot dogs rule. I have never had one, because they contain my two mortal enemies of food: tomatoes and relish. But, Sweet Jesus, are they good.

npgage: Give me a call tomorrow.

Living a life of convenience makes it difficult to post frequently. I have no poignant knowledge to drop on all y'all, just thought I'd give everyone a little taste of what's running through my noodle.

I have a pseudo-date lined up for tomorrow's The Good Life show. Even I can't wait to see how I botch this one. I'm completely in over my head on this one. Granted, I met her at an after hours party where she was one of four ladies. And it was pretty dark. And I was pretty drunk. Real drunk. But I fought off the four other suitors to grab this lady's digits. She talks a mean indie rock game. Comes from a small town. Works at a museum. Neither quick-footed nor quick-witted, it took me a while to plant the seed of a follow-up hangout with this girl. Like the Tortoise, I passed all of the other suitors on the side of the road and finally balled up and got Mary's phone number. Amazed that she handed it out, I called her bluff on the phony looking phone number. She countered with an "Oh, yeah? Why don't you call me and find out?" Hells yeah. So I did. And her phone rang. I won. 1-0. Things looked pretty damn good.

Then it happened. In conversation, ages begin to get mentioned. I happen to still be eligible for The Real World. She happens to be 27. And she says that as if it's a bad thing. She calls me a young pup. Really? Needless to say, everyone walked to their own cars that night.

Then it happened. Again. In what's to become my trademark move, I leave the drunken message. "Um, I'm really sorry if you thought I was making fun of you for being 27, 'cause I wasn't. This is Rick. From tonight. Sorry."

I play it off partially because I didn't remember it, but also partly because I never hear back from the girls to let me know how much of an idiot I am. But less than 12 hours after ruining any chance, something fantastic happened.

I GOT THE CALLBACK!!!

Turns out she likes sleeping all day on Sundays. Sweet. Turns out her roommate and her still want to go to the show. Awesome. I guess I'll see her tomorrow and probably embarrass myself. Routine.

Check back in about three weeks for details on the painfully awkward dissolution.

I had my first extended stay in the Planet this weekend. Just thought I would share a few thoughts I had during my stay. (Keep in mind I was staying with Kolkman)

- I now understand why all the gambling. The first thing I saw when walked into the Country Club was an organized blackjack game, complete with felt tables, real chips with markers and denominations, and dealers who actually call out "Changing $100!" It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen. Just blatantly breaking the law and not doing anything to hide it. You would think they would put that game in some smoky downstairs room with a sliding slot on the door, but no. They put it 20 feet from the bar so that patrons can continue to get drinks quickly, unbelievable. But that was nothing compared to the gambling that went on during the golf tournament. People were betting thousands of dollars on scramble golf. Not only that, they created sheets that explained the rules, listed team odds, and had "North Platte Country Club" listed across the top. They actually created documentation of the betting and then listed what the payouts were out in the open. I was use to the Saturday night poker game at Happy Hollow, but I just can't figure out how they can get away with basically running an open sports book out of a country club. Not that I'm going to bitch too much, we bet on ourselves in the silent calcutta and won like $400.

- Cody Go Karts is not that cool. That place is actually one of the most depressing fun parks I have ever been to. The slick track was closed down and the main track only had four carts going around. The mini golf course is full of weeds and the turf is coming up on most holes. Not to mention I had to use a goddamn range ball. Plus hole #2 might be the worst hole on the damn planet, every person in our group had to get down on their stomach and pool cue it through the damn stump. Pete, after playing that course, I believe you have to change those mini golf ratings. The only thing that course possibly has is a nostalgic value, which isn't enough to put it in the top five in Nebraska. Finally, the worst thing I saw was some poor chicken who they had stuck inside a machine and made it play tic-tac-toe against people who put in a quarter. Can you imagine how that chicken must feel losing all the time? Overall rating for Cody Go Karts: Made me want to listen to some Death Cab, put on a shirt that says "Fuck North Platte", and go drinking at The Alamo. In other words, Kill Myself.

- I only made it to one bar because Paul was a vag on Saturday night, but I'll give some general thoughts on the Brothers bar scene. Really, cheap drinks. I mean really. Let's just say that when I got back to Omaha last night I spent more on one Red Bull and vodka than I spent on three there. There were more cowboy hats than I was expecting and a lot of random thongs making their way above the jean line. Seriously, these girls must have collectively decided that they were going to let guys see that they were wearing thongs. They all had shirts that showed off a little stomach, low rise jeans, and a thong just sticking up in back. Fine by me. Also, lots of drunk fifty year olds in the bar. And when I say drunk, I mean drunk. One guy walked over to our table and started talking in some strange english sounding drunkese that included calling Paul a "shurgeown" (surgeon), his friend Ty was a "really handshome fella, no, I mean damn cute", and I was a "blashphemin', Goddamn Antichrisht," after he found out I was going to be a lawyer. Comedy.

Some parting thoughts:
- Paul's a slut
- People can't drive in NP, I was almost side swiped twice.
- Saw some dude randomly riding his bike at 10AM. He was chugging a beer while riding and had the rest of the six pack dangling from the handle bars.
- Will somebody please explain why there needs to be three viaducts in that town?
- If that town is so cool, why do your parents continue to move away and none of you live there?
- Finally, Gump is a funny fucking kid.

Arrested Development is officially on Fox's fall lineup. We can all breathe a sigh of relief.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/05/19/tv.new.season.ap/index.html

And it is still beyond me that this show isn't more popular, with the exception that it is relatively sophisticated and has many plot lines. So if you don't watch the show do yourself a favor, go buy the dvds and get up to speed, and enjoy the fall.

For the first time you will now hear me thank the almighty for there being a federal court system. Last week, District Judge Joseph Bataillon ruled in Nebraska district court that Nebraska's ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional as it violated both equal protection and due process. I hope this stands up because our constitution is being degraded with the same sex ban being included on it. The ban reads: "Only marriage between a man and a woman shall be valid or recognized in Nebraska" and prohibits "uniting of two persons of the same sex in a civil union, domestic partnership or other similar same-sex relationship." Congratulations Nebraska, We outdid Texas in creating a biased, outlandishly rednecked constitutional ban on gay marriage. In fact, we outdid everybody. Ours is the only marriage ban that could conceivably keep gay couples from living in the same house. Same sex partners can't adopt their partner's children in the state of Nebraska, so if the one parent dies, the children go to foster care or relatives rather than a person they consider their parent. Good job Nebraska! Well, thank you Joseph Bataillon for at least indicating to most of Nebraska what stupid, biggoted rednecks they are. Of course, this will probably get overturned on appeal and my party is going to ram some federal same-sex marriage ban through Congress, so I'll probably only get to be happy about this for a couple of months. Sometimes I really hate Republicans. Well, at least I actually want other people to have rights unlike 70% of the voters in NE. GODDAMN FUCKING REDNECKS!

To the # of laws that we've broken.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2063447

North Platte is sweet. Taken off the Husker page on Lids.com:

"Nebraska CornhuskersHuskers fans from North Platte to Omaha grab the best fan caps year-round at lids.com. LIDS is your headquarters for Nebraska Cornhuskers hats, and hundreds of other NCAA team hats and accessories."

They also have the most obnoxious Nebraska hat ever created--a baseball hat designed to look just like our helmets. Please, take the two seconds of your time to see this. It is just too damned funny (and you will have a preview of my new tailgating hat).

Did anyone see the World-Herald article? This guy is a first rate clownshoe. First of all, he has to be one of only two people in the world with four girls under the age of 10, the other being Shawn Kemp. I loved the quote that was something like, "If keeping a low profile was one of his goals, it's certainly been accomplished." The lesson, as always, it pays to have an R in parentheses next to your name.

Which reminds me, Pete sends out a gigantic deuce on the carpet of Nebraska politics right now. Why must we, along with Kansas, continue to do things to make every other state pee their pants with laughter? I'm actually glad that Kansas is going through this evolution thing because it overshadows the fact that we are going to elect a governor with an impressive resume of 3 National Championships and introducing legislation to stop unscrupulous sports agents and liquor ads during college football games (booze rules!). What a joke.

Oh I know what'll get people to stop talking about that, let's make conceal and carry laws and browbeat homosexuals even more! Done in the last two weeks. When that's over with, let's make a constitutional amendment to protect hunting and fishing. We've done that in the last two months.

I can't wait until we run out of ridiculous ideas to make us look more like yokels and set progress back approximately 30 years. The evolution will not be televised.

I've recently been exposed to this band, and I'm not sure if my fellow posters have been holding out on me regarding them, or what.

They are releasing a new CD in June, and you can hear a few tracks from it, and a couple from their old CD, Universal Blues, on their website. I recommend checking it out.

www.theredwalls.com

Last night I got a late phone call from Pete that got me thinking (by the way, a late phone call when you are old and married is 11:45). He was calling to let me know that there were some fantastic Cliff Floyd highlights on television -- he had two home runs -- and that he was having a career year. You see, a number of summers ago when Pete and I lived in NP, we sort of became enamored with Cliff Floyd. At the time Floyd was playing for Florida, and wasn't much of a household name. The guy was a stud in the field and solid at the plate, and for some reason we just gravitated toward him eventhough he was not on either of your favorite teams. Today, Floyd has made more of a name for himself in New York, but I still like to root for the guy. He is not too flashy, not a huge star, just a solid player. And though he doesn't play for the White Sox, I like to see him do well.

So, the question is: Who do you root for? Who is a player you find yourself quietly rooting for eventhough they are not big stars and don't play for your favorite team?

Barry Zito is another player I like to root for. Though he hasn't had great success the last two seasons, the guys curveballs are absolutely ridiculous, they start at eye level and end up in the dirt. I love to watch those suckers fall out of the sky.

This posting has been censored due to the graphic nature of the content.....

First off, I'm not sure I spelled that word right, in fact I probably didn't but I'm not willing to put in the effort to research this. But I have just a few comments, facts, and various things to add.

1. You can download the Wilco Enhanced EP off their website. It kicks ass, check it out.

2. Chapter 400 of my uncoordinated life: On Wednesday, I was enjoying a beautiful, windy 40 degree Wrigley Field. In about the 6th inning, my nemesis Henry Blanco hit a foul ball in our direction. I set my beer down, then realizing the ball is going to land about 2 rows behind us, I make a lunge/dive for it and fall over my seat into the row behind us. This is okay, b/c the stadium was essentially empty. But when I slipped, I place kicked my beer all over the guy in front of me, then had the ball deflect off my hand to some other guy. It was a lifetime lowlight for me.

3. Other features of the greatest weekend ever in June.

- I will defeat Pete in mini-golf at his home course in Carter Lake, IA, despite having only played the course once.

- A keg in EZ-T and I's shower at Bill's wedding.

4. Dusty Baker said he named a closer when Dempster was hurt, but he didn't want to tell the media who it was. This guy is absolutely wearing me out.

5. I miss Kyle Farnsworth.

6. I don't know what purportedly means.

Alright, the Ryan Reynolds post evidently didn't fly by you guys. I'm sorry that I subjected you to my point of view. Evidently I'm an idiot for liking someone you guys don't. Shame on me. But now that I am the current owner of the worst blog post ever, I have license to do or say anything I want because it can't get any worse, right? Well, I just wanted to let you guys in on one of the best live bands I have ever seen. There's no other way to put it but, to quote MIB, "The Faint is fucking awesome." We went to the show on Wednesday night and it was mind boggling how good of a show those guys put on. It was non-stop from beginning to end. Bright Eyes was just boring in comparison. They should really switch who the headliner is because those Digital Ash songs fall flat after the Faint plays their set. Its like watching a double header where the first game is a high scoring home run fest and the second is a pitcher's duel. You appreciate the pitcher's duel, but the home runs are more fun to watch. Everyone was rockin during the Faint, but just kind of mellowed out during Bright Eyes. Anyway, if you ever get the chance to see them live, jump on it. And if you talk shit about this post GA Hill, I won't be your friend anymore. Worst post my ass. Write another meaningless Cubs rant.

It might be here folks. The weekend of June 16 through the 19th features:

1. Wilco and the Roots at Red Rocks
2. My birthday
3. Opening sessions of the College World Series
4. Nebraskaland Days Parade Day
5. Miss Potter running a marathon in Duluth, MN. which I have given a verbal commitment for but will now be breaking, like any Nebraska basketball recruit that wouldn't get his ass kicked by Doogie Howser.
6. Bill's wedding
7. Big Boi's wedding to Ryan Reynolds, which is a sure fire inductee into the Pantheon of Unnecessary Man Crushes.

What does everyone have going on?

He's in a mental hospital???? In South Africa??? This sounds like one of his skits, but I guess not (taken from Entertainment Weekly):


Comedian Dave Chappelle has checked himself into a mental health facility in South Africa and has remained there since late April, according to a source close to the situation. The same source denies rumors of drug abuse. Other sources have also told EW that the future of Chappelle's Show — the hit Comedy Central series that was entering its third season — is more uncertain than the network has suggested.
Comedy Central last week made a hasty announcement that the show's third season, already delayed from its planned February start, had been postponed again. The network said it remained ''optimistic'' that production could resume. The highly rated sketch series has been a huge moneymaker for Viacom, which owns Comedy Central. Its second season is about to be released on DVD, on the heels of first-season sales that made it the top-selling television DVD in history.
Thanks in large part to the DVD sales, Chappelle last year netted a $50 million deal for co-writing and starring in the show. Sketches to fill about four episodes in the third season have been taped, but Chappelle's interstitial material with live audiences has not. The fate of the sketches has not been determined.

If you click on the link, the headline to this story says "'Chappelle's Show' unlikely to return to Comedy Central for a third season." This is awful. I mean, I feel terrible for him and his family, but on the selfish side, one of my favorite TV shows of all time is just...done? Damn.
Prayers go out to his family...that's some crazy shit.

Yesterday Dubois was named the new Cubs left fielder, and Dempster the closer. How do you ask did Dusty manage the new roles....

- He sat Dubois
- He used Dempster in a non-save situation

I love this guy.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7773670/site/newsweek

Damn, Dave, pull it together! This is a really interesting article, by the way.

This is what Sammy Sosa recently said out of Baltimore:

"We're playing good baseball. We don't get any excuses. I feel lucky over here. It's early, but we've got a great group of guys that go out every day and take care of business. I'm so proud that every day there is a new hero.

"So it's not only one guy. That's how you win. It's the whole team together. There are good people around here. No jealousy. Everyone is together. And we've got a great Skipper.''

What a joke. "I'm so proud that every day there is a new hero"?? "It's not only one guy"??? "No jealousy"????

That was the whole problem in Chicago. YOU thought you should be the only hero, Sammy. YOU thought you were the only guy. YOU were the one who was jealous when it was crystal-clear you were the fourth or fifth best hitter on the team.

Yet, YOU were the one who got pissy about this stuff. And YOU were the one who brought the team down, with your bullshit stereo and bullshit attitude. YOU had the chance to be a hero again and again and again and again and again and again while wearing the Cubby Blue. And how many times did you do it (that is, when we needed a win--which means 1999, 2000, 2001, and 2002 did not count)? Once. You tied up Game 1 against the Marlins in the bottom of the ninth. That's about it. You choked big-time last year, when we needed you. The Wild Card was the Cubs' to lose, and you completely disappeared.

I know that this is old stuff, and there are A LOT more problems to worry about as a Cubs fan (such as, well, everyone not named Derek Lee). But this pissed me off.

Well, I got the chance to hear the new album from Common, "Be." All I have is the un-mastered version, but I will tell you this--it is Com's best album (for sure), and it might be one of the best releases of the year, period. If you liked Kanye West's "The College Dropout," you'll love this. What makes "Be" better is there are no skits, no gimmicky hooks, no bullshit. Just straight ryhmes and classic hip-hop. And I, apparently, am far from the only one thinking this. The reviews so far on this album:

XXL Magazine: XXL Rating (THIRD album they have ever given a classic rating to)
Vibe: 4.5 out of 5
The Source: 4.5 out of 5 mic's (does anyone even read this shit anymore?!?)
Scratch Magazine: 9 out of 10

My favorites:

"Go"--kind of a club-banger, according to some on Okayplayer.com. I guess I see what they're saying, a little bit. A cool, wandering keyboard sample loops over some tight high hat and Com pulls it back a bit--his cool, laid-back flow fits perfect. I work at a bar with a dance floor, and I can see people putting their hands up to this one. But I can also see people chilling out on the deck and grilling to this record, too. And, I just realized, that is John Mayer singing with Kanye on the hook. And don't worry (I'm talking to you, Pete), you wouldn't know it if it weren't pointed out to you. You really have to listen to know that is Mayer. Real nice cut.

"Love Is"--one of the joints not produced by Kanye (I think). I know, I know--weird, Common doing a love song. But you know what? No one else does it better. I like it because, well, fuck, it's better than that weak ass "Candy Shop," right? Chill beat.

"Chi City"--one of the bangers on the album. Again, straight-forward, hard beat featuring a Stax-type Issac Hayes wah-wah guitar with Com flowing about Chicago and, well, just being a hard-ass (you have to follow up a love song reminding people that you are hard, don't you???).

"Food"--This is a great song. And when I say that, I refer to when Com and Kanye perform this last year on "The Chappelle Show." The album verison sounds pretty flat compared to the live cut, but again, this isn't the finished album I'm listening to. Hopefully they can re-capture that energy they had on "Chappelle." Great hook, though.

"Real People"--Love this jawn. Kind of has a 70's soul, "Love Boat" sample to it (in the best possible way; NOT CORNY). Another head-nodder.

"They Say"--Features Kanye, John Legend. Another nod to Stax music. Another laid-back, head-nodder. I don't know, it is just good. Take my word for it.

Those are my favorites right now. Notice I didn't even include "Corners," the first single from this album. I LOVED "Corners" when I first heard it. Played it non-stop. That's how good the rest of the album is; "Corners" is probably my 8th or 9th favorite cut from it. The main point is that you play this from track one to track 11, and not only did you not skip a track, but you're counting down the seconds on the last song so you get to start the album over again.

I cannot WAIT to buy the completed album on May 26th. You shouldn't either.

(Editor's Note: I don't encourage swiping leaked music, and eagerly await to be the first at Homer's in Lincoln before they open to get in and BE the first person to pick up this album.)

You're going to be seeing this scene a lot this year. Derek Lee currently is leading the NL in all the Triple Crown categories, not to mention slugging, total hits, total bases, etc. Not to mention he is the best fielding 1st basemen in the NL. I hope that this is finally the year he gets to the All-Star game. And as the calendar turns, so does his production--1-2 today with a walk and 2-run homer. I'm saying that 2005 is the year that people stop sleeping on D-Lee.

UPDATE: DLee was NL Player of the Week AND NL Player of the Month. Well deserved, fo' sho'.