Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Congrats White Sox
Thursday, September 25, 2008
The Tunnel Walk: Vol II, Issue III: Virginia Tech, Yo.
So NU finds itself facing the vaunted VaTech Hokies. What's a Hokie? Don't feel embarassed, only Tunnel Walk and Jim Druckenmiller knew before this week. A Hokie is simply a loyal Virginia Tech fan. It comes from a cheer created in 1896 when Virginia Agricultural and Mechanical College changed its name to Virginia Polytechnic Institute. So where does the turkey come from? The HokieBird is based on the nickname "the gobblers" granted in 1908. There are many theories as to where this came from. One is that the football team would respond to a crowd cheer by gobbling. Another is that an observer commented that the team "gobbled" their post-game meal. One theory held by some Tunnel Walkers is that Tech football team gobbles something else. Hey yo! Zing!
Top 5 Ways to Tell it is a Big Game in Memorial Stadium
1. Even the people with oxygen tanks stand up occasionally
2. You are so close to the person sitting next to you, you could inadvertently conceive a child
3. Clapping is so out-of-sync it becomes in-sync
4. Coach Ekeler kills scout team linebacker in pre-game revelry
5. Tom Osborne clips coupons, reads Nicholas Sparks novel, makes Cream of Wheat, eats Cream of Wheat, sips hot tea, levitates
The Recruit Files:
Already Committed: Cody Green, QB. 6-4, 220lbs, Dayton, TX. Already the bell cow of the class, Green seems to be the epitome of the Balanced QB if we were playing NCAA 09. A converted RB (he wore the #21 jersey before switching to a more quarterbackly #7), Green can burn you with his feet. However, it's Watson's "multiple" offense that Green is being groomed to run so you know Green must be quick with the draw. Green will graduate in December and presumably be in Lincoln in time for Spring ball. Pat Witt did that a couple of years back and it hasn't hurt him any. Rivals rates Green as the 10th best dual-threat QB (4*) and Scout has him as their 5th overall QB and gives him 5 stars. He seems like a good kid who should have a bright future with the Cornhuskers, but so did Josh Freeman, and Harrison Beck, and Curt Dukes, and Allan Evridge, and Carlyle Holiday, and Carl Crawford.
Wishlister: Gabe Lynn, CB. 6-1, 180lbs, Tulsa (Jenks), OK. Gabe Lynn has been on the sidelines of more Nebraska games in the past two years than any of us...ever. Gabe Lynn is also Phillard's half-brother. Gabe Lynn is a top-5 corner for the class of 09. The first two items on the list combined with number 3 equals a spot on this week's Wishlist. Lynn has stated that he wants to see playing time quickly and despite the logjam of young corners for NU, the Tunnel Walk believes Lynn has the talent to see playing time as a true freshman. That said, with this staff's restraint burning unnecessary redshirts (see: Compton, Will; Steinkuhler, Baker), anything can happen. Despite having somewhere in the range of 50 scholarship offers, the race for Lynn's signature on Signing Day really comes down to Nebraska and Oklahoma with OU in the lead. All along, Lynn has played the role of the uninterested when it comes to NU. This could either mean that he doesn't want his relationship with Phillard to block other schools from recruiting him or it could simply mean he just isn't that into NU.
Top 5 Pies of the Fall
1. Pumpkin
2. Baked peach (this is due to the delicious late-season Colorado peaches)
3. Pecan
4. Sour cream and raisin
5. Humble (which may come in the form of Missouri, Oklahoma, or both)
A Look Back at Excitednesses and Concerns
Dan Titchener. Tunnel Walk wanted him to be better than he has been. Averaging 38.6 yards per punt, Dan the Man only has to add about 8 yards to each of his boots in order to match the single season record. You can do it!
Bo Pelini. He's still undefeated as head coach of the University of Nebraska.
Khiry Cooper. Well, he's still on the team.
Walk-Ons. Unless you're related, you're a big, fat liar if you knew what jersey number Lance Thorell wore prior to the NMSU game. Many of his teammates don't even know his first name. Matt O'Hanlon (who was granted an extra year of eligibility earlier this year) and Hunter Teafatiller were each once walk-ons who've since earned scholies and they've done better than expected. Yay!
Ricky Redshirting Henry. Tunnel Walk believes it says volumes about the depth of the offensive line when a player that both coaches and players targeted as an impact player has the ability to utilize a redshirt year. Big ups to you, backup guards.
The Running Back Competition (Yet to be determined?). Tunnel Walk supposes this could go either way. Some will say that to truly establish a ground attack, a team must give it's lead horse enough carries to settle into a rhythm. Others (such as mythological dog Cerberus) say, "Three heads are better than one."
Prognosticators' Optimism. This has nearly gotten out of hand. Not that many expected NU to be anything less than 3-0 entering Saturday's matchup with VaTech., but the amount of sunshine being blown needs to be paused until at least next Sunday.
Lack of DT Depth. What did Tunnel Walk say about Jared Crick? And to be fair, what did Tunnel Walk say about Ndamukong Suh and Ty Steinkuhler? Following a season in which both Suh and Steinkuhler were at best just whelming, each have been auditioning for Guns of the Navarone: The New Class.
Where are You Now, Thunder Collins?
Much elation came of the return of the option in the New Mexico State game. This particularly pleased The Tunnel Walk. As a native Nebraskan, The Tunnel Walk loves option football. The Tunnel Walk loves the option so much, we use it as a staple of our NCAA Football ’09 offense, where we recruit scrambling QBs from all over the country to lead us to glory.
Thus, The Tunnel Walk begs Coach Shawn Watson to continue to run the option once or twice a game, because it never fails to make us smile. Sometimes watching a football game is not particularly enjoyable, but that is no fault of the option. That is all.
Get this album immediately:
TV on The Radio, Dear Science. Sure, the regular scenester snarks like Pitchfork and AVClub have given this album a nice tugjob, but Tunnel Walk knows what you the reader is thinking, "Sure Pitchfork gave it a 9.2, but is it actually listenable, Tunnel Walk?" Yes. A resounding mothergrabbing yes. TVOTR's previous release, 2oo6's Return to Cookie Mountain, was one of Tunnel Walk's favorite that year. This time out, TVOTR make a more listenable record throughout. In the day and age of iPods and shuffled playlists, this is a nice reprieve to the days where you could slap on a cd and listen to it the whole way through. The liner notes are super neat, too. The lyric sheet is in the form of a letter. Get it? To Science. You will be tested on this next week.
Match the License Plate Number to the Correct Nebraska County
13 Custer
91 Cedar
57 Dawson
4 Arthur
18 Johnson
(Correct answers: 13, Cedar; 91, Arthur; 57, Johnson; 4, Custer; 18, Dawson)
Chip Dip
Cottege Cheese
Dorothy Lynch Dressing
Tortilla Chips
Add dressing (to taste) to cottege cheese and use as
dip with tortilla chips. Delicious!
Submitted By: Debbie Genn
The Tunnel Walk also plans to contact the Vatican regarding sainthood for Ms. Genn. We will keep you posted.
Round 2: Jeff Jamrog versus Jeff Garlin. This is a bit spooky. One is a fun-loving sidekick to an older graying white man who is seen as one of the best in his field. The other is a fun-loving sidekick to an older graying white man who is seen as one of the best in his field. Man, is Tunnel Walk getting good at this shit or what? Guaranteed if Garlin walked into Memorial Stadium some fatefull Fall Saturday, he would be misrecognized as Jeff Jamrog 18.5 times. Fact: Jeff Garlin began his career performing stand-up comedy as a student at THE UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI in the early 1980s. Fact: Jeff Jamrog began his career performing wind sprints as a student at THE UNIVERSITY OF NEBRASKA in the early 1980s. This just keeps getting creepier and creepier.
NEBRASKA-V Tech Under 45.5
Wisconsin -5.5 over MICHIGAN
N Carolina + 7.5 over MIAMI
PENN ST. -15.5 over Ill
(The Tunnel Walk does not like taking lots of road teams. Caveat Emptor.)
Abbreviated Pete’s NFL Picks
(The Tunnel Walk apologizes on behalf of Pete, but wants to remind all of Pete’s followers that Pete owns it again this year and to recognize)
JAX -7 over Houston
TEN -3 over Minn
CHI +3 over Philly
Half-assed prediction time
Explorers Meriweather Lewis and William Clark, of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, were both natives of Virginia. While they did not begin their transcontinental mission from Virginia (it was actually Pittsburgh), their adventurous spirits surely shine on in the football hearts of the Hokies of Virginia Tech. Some 205 years later, The Hokies now embark westward on a journey, not with orders from Thomas Jefferson but with orders from all of Virginia to return victorious. Their presumed victory will not be maps, fur pelts, and wild tales of rushing rapids, thunderous herds of bison, the frozen peaks of the Rockies seemingly touching the sky, and the grandeur of the vast Pacific Ocean. No, it will simply be the pride of winning a collegiate football game.
It is by keeping in mind what our adversaries are playing for that the mighty Huskers see what challenges beset them on Saturday. Our Gridiron Warriors of the Great Plains should expect a physical football game with contusions and assorted injuries, “Beemer Ball”, and punting. The Tunnel Walk says that Pelini will have his men ready for the clash, and will emerge victorious, thus denying the Hokies the chance to return to the East Coast with exuberant tales of their triumph. In short, history will not repeat itself. After all, Meriweather Lewis died in a Tennessee tavern, while presumably watching a lacrosse match between the Iroquois Nation and Yale.
Nebraska 20, Virginia Tech 13
Enjoy the game. From The Tunnel Walk, Hail Varsity.
Labels: Nebraska Football, peaches, Sports Wagering, The Tunnel Walk
Monday, September 22, 2008
"In Carl We Trust"
Also--Matt Schick is hilarious. If anyone has listened to him fill in on Unsportsmanlike Conduct, you know what I'm talking about. And this piece he lined up is just more evidence. The guy definitely needs his own radio show or something. Keep up the good work, Matt.
That goes for Channel 7 in general. They've got solid, young talent on their newscasts, and as evidenced by the Millard tornado episode, seem to be much more on top of things than compared to other broadcasts (*cough* WOWT, *cough*).
fin.
Labels: Bo Pelini, Carl Pelini, KETV, Matt Schick, Nebraska Football
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Encore, Part II
"ELIMINATED."
You know what the t-shirts and champagne represent?
"NL CENTRAL CHAMPIONS."
Back to back, bitches!
Labels: 2008 is gonna be great, 2008 NL Central Champs, Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Can I Get an Encore?
No. GOD NO. How about the opposite?
Big Z's line following his no hit performance:
1.2 IP 8 ER 6H 3BB
YIKES!!! Too bad he couldn't face a team affected by a hurricane every outing.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Fuck the Euro Trash
Right now in Fourball, the US is up in one match, tied in another, and down in the other two. I blame this partly on Azinger's dumb-ass desire to play everybody today, particularly that he paired Stricker and Curtis (both rookies). However, the Kim-Mickelson pairing might be the most enjoyable team to watch in the history of US Ryder Cup play (this team took the "Original Mavericks" title away from McCain and Palin).
This weekend's play should be awesome as the teams are pretty equal and the US shouldn't be in as big a hole as we are used to seeing. The crowd in Kentucky is boisterous and keeps cheering every time the Trash make a mistake. I love it. Hopefully, the US prevails, brings the cup back to states, and Sergio cries on air. That would be my perfect Sunday.
Labels: Ryder Cup, Sergio Garcia is a little bitch, Valhalla
Pete's NFL Picks: Week 3
And since we have no Tunnel Walk, how about some quick college plays:
PITT +1 over Iowa (really like this one)
MICH ST -8 over Notre Dame (love this one)
Wyoming +28 over BYU (letdown special)
AUBURN +3 over Lsu (weird line, Steven J. Public will love LSU and get burned)
Georgia -7 over ASU (they need to look good, and they have the talent)
Labels: Cleveland, Pete's NFL Picks, Romeo Crennel, Sports Wagering
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Six Years Later . . . Bitches
Today I live with my girlfriend, she hates me most days but the Mighty Bulldogs will be taking on Belleview West Friday night. The above mentioned Methodist that was married in a Catholic church and I will be at Barry O’s around 5 if you like to join us for cocktails and a football game.
You should come.
Eddie Vedder: "Someday We'll Go All The Way"
Napa, you may want to avert your eyes of this post. And for that matter, if I have posted this here before, I apologize (although I did a few searches and couldn't find anything).
So those things aside, I see that ol' Eddie Vedder has a new song he recently played at a concert in Chicago--"Someday We'll Go All The Way." You can download it here (right click, save link as). The lyrics are below.
This might be one of the coolest things I have seen in a while; it is not too often that you get a legitimately awesome artist to write songs about your favorite team (or any team, for that matter). As for the song itself, it sounds like an old folk protest song--a perfect tone for a defiant Cub fan. Favorite line: "And when the day comes for that last winning run, and I'm crying and covered with beer."
Preach on, Eddie. Preach on.
**UPDATE** Awesome news, from Pearl Jam's website:
"At the request of Ernie Banks, Eddie threw together a song for the Cubs ("All the Way"). He got a pretty good live version of it at the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago this August. It's now being played on Chicago radio and at the Bleacher Bars around Wrigleyville. We have decided to make the song available for download - you can get it here in the next few days. There's a chance we'll also make available some hard copy CDs and we're looking into souvenir 45 singles, as well. Check back here for the latest.
Go, Cubs, go!"
Yeah, don't let them say that it's just a game.
Well, I've seen other teams and it is never the same.
When you go to Chicago, you're blessed and you're healed, The first time you walk into Wrigley Field.
Heroes with pinstripes and heroes in blue, Give us the chance to feel like heroes do.
Whether we'll win and if we should lose, we know Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.We are one with the Cubs, with the Cubs we're in love.
Hold our heads tall as the underdogs.
We are not fair-weather, but foul-weather fans.
Like brothers in arms, in the suites and the stands.
There's magic in the Ivy and the old scoreboard.
The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
In a world full of greed, we could never want more.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.Here's to the men and the legends we've known.
Giving us faith and giving us hope.
United we stand and united we'll fall
Down to our knees the day we win it all.
Yeah Ernie Banks said, "oh, let's play two".
I think he meant two hundred years.
Playing at Wrigley, our diamond, our jewel.
The home of our joy and our fears.
Keeping traditions, and wishes anew,
The place where our grandfathers' fathers they grew.
The spitual feeling if I ever knew.
And when the day comes for that last winning run, and I'm crying and covered with beer.
I look to the sky and know I was right today.
Someday we'll go all the way.
Yeah, someday we'll go all the way.
Labels: Chicago Cubs, Eddie Vedder
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
F*** and Yeah
Labels: NP Beats Kearney Last Week
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Top 50 Charles Barkley Quotes
However, the site that Deadspin linked to straight copied and pasted from a blog that is actually called "Top 50 Charles Barkley Quotes." It is just one post from February with his 50 best quotes. Bullshit move, Black Sports Online. The guy who does this website literally copied and pasted whoever took the time to put that together and posted it on his website. Didn't even try to move the answers around or anything--straight stole it.
Wow, and in the time it took me to post this, Deadspin changed the link to the proper blog. Well done.
Labels: Black Sports Online, Deadspin, Top 50 Charles Barkley Quotes
Monday, September 15, 2008
15
LOL.
UPDATE: The game is over. Houston managed *one* hit. In two games. Cubs win, 6-1. Ted Lilly gets 9 K's, gives up 1 hit, and 0 ER.
Labels: Carlos Zambrano, Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros, Ted Lilly
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Couldn't Happen To A Better Team!
Enjoy some playoff-free baseball, Kyle!
Labels: Carlos Zambrano, Chicago Cubs, Houston Astros
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Good Lord, We Need Something!
--ESPN.com's Fantasy Basketball Draft Kit. I know, Fantasy Football drafts are barely over. Too bad. Man up and get to studying.
--This is an iTunes link to a segment where Norm MacDonald (filling in for Dennis Miller) is interviewing Super Dave Osborne. This is an absolute must-listen.
--This is funny.
Alright, there's possibly the most half-assed post in the history of the blog, which is saying something. Look for more content later.
Labels: Fantasty Basketball, Norm MacDonald, Super Dave, The Onion
Sunday, September 07, 2008
The Heavy Soul Interview Part II...
Look forward to it (hopefully) this week.
In the meantime, who would you like to see us interview? Guesses as to who this week's interview will be?
Leave 'em in the comments...
Labels: The Heavy Soul Interview
Friday, September 05, 2008
The Tunnel Walk: Vol. II, Issue II: San Jose State
(Wait, you're telling me that San Jose State isn't worried about coming into Lincoln? They're using this to soften their schedule? We should take this seriously? I guess we'll get to this later.)
Ghostbusters: The Husker Edition
This is admittedly just an excuse to geek out about Ghostbusters 3 reportedly being in development (being written by writers for The Office, and starring the original cast plus the Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen crew! Hot damn!), but we thought we could break down the Huskers--thus far--by way of Ghostbuster quotes.
"I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you, Egon. [pulls out candy bar] You... You've earned it." - Dr. Peter Venkman
This honor is bestowed upon running back-turned-linebacker Cody Glenn. Even some commentors on this very blog voiced concern about Glenn actually being a viable candidate to play this year, let alone start. All Big Cody does is come out and contributes 12 tackles and 3 pass break ups to the cause. Yes, it was against Western Michigan. But Glenn, for the most part, looked like the most active and perhaps most athletic player on the field for either team. Here's to hoping the Education of Cody Glenn continues against the Trojans, er, Spartans.
"I feel like the floor of a taxi cab." - Dr. Egon Spangler
The Recruit Files
Already Committed: Dontrayevous "Tray" Robinson, RB. 6-1, 215lbs. Euless (TX) Trinity. Robinson is a big back in the mold of recent Huskers Cody Glenn and Quentin Castille. Oh yeah, he plays on the No. 1 ranked high school team in the nation. Suffice it to say, Tray plays against some decent competition. Robinson, along with his teammate DT Siosaia Tuipulotu, will be visiting Tom Osborne Field at Memorial Stadium as the SJSU Fightin' Dick Tomeys come to town. Robinson scored 2 TDs in his team's opener. He has prototypical size, but probably lacks the home run potential. Very solid commit for the Big Red.
Wishlister: Kraig Appleton, WR. 6-3, 190lbs. East St. Louis (MO) East St. Louis. Ranked by Rivals as its No. 11 WR, Appleton is the type of WR (4-star, St. Louis product) that The Tunnel Walk had hoped current Husker Chris Brooks to be. Appleton still lists all of his suitors, including NU, as Medium interest, but wethinks the Huskers' chances are considerably less than that. Marvin Sanders is the lead recruiter for Appleton. While he isn't mentioned in the same breath for his recruiting prowess as say Tim Beck or Mike Ekeler, it will be interesting to see what Marvin can come up with on Appleton.
Where Are You Now, Clint Finley?
The last time The Tunnel Walk saw Clint Finley in person, it was in the Astronomy 103 Final with Dr. Martin Gaskell. That was also the only time The Tunnel Walk saw Clint Finley in person, at least that close. Originally recruited as an option QB, Finley developed into a more than serviceable safety for the Huskers. In fact, ol' Clint was a four-year letterman from 1997-2000. Hailing from Cuero, Texas (home of the elusive chupacabra), Finley went on to play for the Kansas City Chiefs from 2002-2003, amassing one career tackle. Finley resurfaced with the Dallas Cowboys' practice squad for two months during the summer of 2005. Clint Finley's younger brother, Joe Jon Finley, played collegiately for Oklahoma as a TE and that angered The Tunnel Walk. It could be said that the Fighting Finley Football brothers did alright for themselves, but it could also be argued that these Finley brothers are the most successful Finleys of them all. The Tunnel Walk's extensive research found nothing on the current whereabouts of Clint Finley. We sincerely hope he is in the BBQ business or owns a chain of classy car washes.
"You know who you look like..."
This week it's NU placekicker Alex Henery and the guy from Back to School. Henery went to high school at Omaha's Harry Burke High School. This guy, named Keith Gordon was a high school geek named Arnie in the 1983 Stephen King thriller, Christine. Then, he gets to rock in The Legend of Billie Jean with Christian Slater. And if that's not enough, he rounds out the resume by playing Rodney Dangerfield's son in the classic coming of age tale, Back to School.
Captain Profiles
Speaking of Alex Henery, he gets the special teams nod for captain this week. The Tunnel Walk believes it has something to do with the fact he hit a career-long 44-yard field goal and then duplicated it three more times.
Being named by the coaching staff as the Defensive Player of the Week earned Ty Steinkuhler the nod for this week's captainship. He led an inspired defensive front four with 8 tackles himself while the unit garnered 4 sacks. Keep in mind that the entire Nebraska defensive accumulated 13 all of last year.
All Nate Swift did to earn his C was catch 5 balls for 121 yards and two touchdowns (one of which was a 61-yarder. So much for the lack of a deep threat.). With his efforts against Western Michigan, Swift moved into a tie for second place with Irving Fryar on the all-time 100-yard games list. He is five behind The Jet, so it's not outlandish to see him dethrone Rodgers. Swift needs just three more TD receptions to land at No. 2 on the all-time list and 35 more receptions to take the lead on that list.
Todd Peterson is from Grand Island, Nebraska. He plays wide receiver for Nebraska and is of above average height and athletic ability. This makes him a good choice for captain.
Locks of the Week (YTD 2-1)
Cincinnati +21.5 over OKLAHOMA
Central Michigan +24 over GEORGIA
WAKE FOREST -7 over Ole Miss
KANSAS -20.5 over La Tech
(These picks are dedicated to EZT, who could use some tough love after a dismal performance last week. Let these get you back on the horse, EZT!)
Real or Fake Bars?
1. The Crow Bar, Mason City, NE
2. Sweaty Betty’s, Boelus, NE
3. Nightcrawler’s, Worms, NE
4. The Shady Lady, Stapleton, NE
5. The Catch Pen, Hyannis, NE
6. The Rusty Rooster, Yutan, NE
Answers: 1. Real 2. Fake-The Golden Nugget is in Boelus 3. Real (and awesome) 4. Fake, but used to be real 5. Fake, but that’s what I would name a bar in Hyannis 6. See picture at right
Maybe we can finally answer the question: What is a Hawkeye?
The Tunnel Walk enjoys Chris Fowler’s weekly college football round-up tremendously. This week, Chris discussed five non-conference, neutral-site matchups he would like to see played annually. Among the five was Nebraska-Iowa in Kansas City. The Tunnel Walk finds it extremely appropriate that this subject was tackled during the week our beloved ‘Skers take on San Jose State.
We advocate hopping on this bandwagon immediately. Not only would it give The Tunnel Walk another chance to make fun of our neighbors to the east on an annual basis, it would be a great 2nd week of the season game for presumably the rest of our lives. Now is most likely not the time to get this done, as The Tunnel Walk predicts that Iowa will not only not have a football coach by the end of this season, they may not have a football program at the rate they are going. As it is, though, it’s a natural geographic rivalry with no downside for either program.
All of this fails to consider the extreme coolness of playing an annual game in Arrowhead Stadium, which is always a great time. Let’s do this, Iowa!
Top 5 Things to Do at Memorial Stadium During a Blowout
1. Find a portly gentleman surrounding you (no small feat in Memorial Stadium), and challenge him to a Fairbury-eating contest
2. Wager on how many people will be carried out on stretchers during the game
3. Guess how long Nebraska has been using those ugly, brown chair-seat things? (Our guess: since 1961)
4. Try and figure out what the hell is going on with this year’s cheerleading uniforms
5. Tell someone to sit down
Drinking and the A.M. kickoff
A dangerous combination, to be sure. Nothing can be less enjoyable than the early-morning puke followed by the 3 o’clock pass out followed by the 8 p.m. hangover. To avoid such a fate, The Tunnel Walk recommends you plan your day like this:
7-8: One or two bloody marys to get a quick buzz
8-11: Red beers! Nurse that buzz into a solid, but not extreme, inebriation
11-3: Sober up at the game, and make sure to get a Runza or Valentino’s or both
3-7: Go watch some football at a sports bar and have about five pints of domestic
7-8: Amigo’s and quiet reflection. See also: water
8-??: The world is your oyster, buddy
This Week’s Dorothy Lynch-capade
Tater tots. That’s right, suckas, The Tunnel Walk knows that fried potatoes and the orange yummie are the peas and carrots of the trans-fat world. Dip these fried nuggets of bliss into the deep orange ocean of love and St. Valentine himself will blush.
The Tunnel Walk always finds it inspiring when people are actually doing what they are put on this planet to do, such as Michael Jordan and basketball, Genghis Khan at ruling empires, and Dustin Diamond at being a douchenozzle. To this, we salute tater tots being dipped in Dorothy Lynch, like they were born to do.
Prediction Time
The Tunnel Walk feels strongly that Nebraska has better football players than San Jose State. All this talk about the spread offense is irrelevant if you have players running the plays in clownshoes. The Spartans are overmatched by the Huskers, no matter what question marks remain. Callahan and Cosgrove would not lose to San Jose State; they would probably win by around 6.
Look for Nebraska’s defense to fool everyone into thinking they are a lot better than they actually are, and for the offense to remain strong. We also predict a Niles Paul punt return for a touchdown.
Nebraska 55, San Jose State 6
Enjoy the game at a cost of $29.95.
The Tunnel Walk encourages our NFL fans to look forward to Heavy Soul's own Prickly Pete the Prognosticator's NFL Picks of The Week coming this Wednesday. As a preview, here's what The Tunnel Walk would guess he would pick:
New England over the Chiefs. Saints over Tampa Bay. Philly over the Rams.
From The Tunnel Walk, Hail Varsity.
Labels: Nebraska Football, The Tunnel Walk
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
The OWH: Where The Mainstream Media and Blogs Collide!
The World-Herald "Living" section did a story today about "tailgating etiquette," and called on none other than our boy Pete to break down the hustle for bathrooms and Port-A-Potties while tailgating (free advice: don't act like you're going to tip a Port-A-Pottie when someone is in there. It could turn out to be anybody...like Darin Erstad.)
If ever there was an important rule . . .
Be civil about sharing the bathrooms (or porta-potties or pickle buckets with curtains around them).
"That's very important," said Jeff Peterson of Omaha, a season-ticket holder and frequent tailgater. "You have to be able to share and make your trip quick. It's one way of keeping things friendly."
Thanks for the words of wisdom, Pete.
Labels: Interviews, Omaha World-Herald, The Heavy Soul Interview
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Bo Pelini Gets His Own TV Show, Hilarity Ensues
You won't get one this week--sorry, but we're busy catching up from the long weekend--but this probably needs to happen. We watched this week's episode, and it was pretty awesome. Coach Pelini looks like having to go over film from the weekend's games is possibly the worst thing that he could be a part of.
That's not to say it's not good, nor does that say he does a bad job. Quite the contrary. It's entertaining for several reasons:
-Refreshing honesty. There are SEVERAL instances where someone on the defense misses an assignment, and Coach Pelini quickly acknowledges the mistake, followed by a "that said, I take a lot of blame on that. I need to communicate better with these guys, and it's something that we'll work on this week." (Not a direct quote, but it is along those lines.) Pretty great stuff, and a stark difference of Coach "Throw the players under the bus" Callahan.
-Grumpiness. If you watch it, take special note of Coach Pelini before each commercial break. He is literally doing everything he can not to get up and walk off the set. In fairness, "grumpiness" probably is the wrong word. In fact, we're quite sure he's probably just not used to it. It's just funny to watch him start to stand up the second the film is done from each of the four quarters, then physically restrain himself from doing so. Also funny: him looking off set, waiting for ANYBODY to give him the OK to get the hell out of there.
-Grumpiness (for real). Apparently the Coachspeak goes out the window when he disagrees with a call. In fact, he flat-out will say when the official made a bad call, or "not how I would call it." Awesome. (Also file under "Refreshing honesty.")
-Plain polos. Remember last year when Coach "I'm officially done being the coach here, even if there's still a few weeks of the season" Callahan wore the plain clothes to press conferences, and people freaked out about it? The media would actually ask him questions about it? Well, apparently Pelini found the only thing outside Shawn Watson and Ted Gillmore to keep from the Callahan era: wearing whatever the hell clothes he wants. The only difference: no one has the balls to call him on it.
Anyway, it is yet another great change from the past 4 years. We'll recap these in far more thorough fashion starting next week.
Labels: Bo Pelini, Nebraska Football, The Nebraska Football Show
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