Tuesday, January 31, 2006
bad news = good news?
We all have cause for excitement. The Sports Guy is not covering the Super Bowl. If you read his More Cowbell yesterday, I for one would like to say I found his reasoning to be a bit arrogant. That he's been there, done that, etc. And frankly, I find a lot of his columns to be a bit arrogant as of late. I still read most everything he writes, but I really don't enjoy it like I once did. At one point in time you could picture him as one of your buddies ripping on some sort of inane topic, anymore I think he may be a little too big for his britches.
But the cause for celebration. The Chuck Klosterman Super blog that will be on Page 2. Early indications, and my early line is that it is going to totally kick ass.
But the cause for celebration. The Chuck Klosterman Super blog that will be on Page 2. Early indications, and my early line is that it is going to totally kick ass.
Damn
Mr. GA Hill was drunk enough to divulge what his new ESPN Insider password is, and as it turns out I was too damn drunk to remember it.
Wilco within 2 hrs!!!!!!!!!!
This post is just making everyone aware that Wilco is inexplicably, gloriously, and randomly playing the Val Air Ballroom in Des Moines on 3/22. This is head scratching because they are not touring right now. In fact, they have only two other shows in March and they are in Florida and South Carolina.
This is fucking incredible. I'm so fired up I'm speechless. Tickets go on sale 2/10 at 10 a.m., which, along with the opening day of racing at Fonner and the Jeff Tweedy show I'm attending could quite possibly make 2/10 the best day of all time!
On a related note, I have seen Wilco at this venue for the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot tour and it is incredibly cool. It looks like a 1940's era big band tour.
Wow. Great Tuesday to be alive. Holy shit. Wilco!?! There is no rhyme or reason for this. I'm officially rambling on. This is unbelievable. Jesus. I can't believe this. Just randomly showing up in Iowa. Good god.
This is fucking incredible. I'm so fired up I'm speechless. Tickets go on sale 2/10 at 10 a.m., which, along with the opening day of racing at Fonner and the Jeff Tweedy show I'm attending could quite possibly make 2/10 the best day of all time!
On a related note, I have seen Wilco at this venue for the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot tour and it is incredibly cool. It looks like a 1940's era big band tour.
Wow. Great Tuesday to be alive. Holy shit. Wilco!?! There is no rhyme or reason for this. I'm officially rambling on. This is unbelievable. Jesus. I can't believe this. Just randomly showing up in Iowa. Good god.
Monday, January 30, 2006
Bagwell vs. Astros
The year is 2001...
Astros: "Alright, Jeff, here's what we're going to offer you."
Jeff Bagwell: "Let's hear it, Astros."
Astros: "We're going to offer you a ridiculous contract. We want you as the face of this organization. So we're prepared to offer you a six-year extention, here in 2001, so you will continue to be the face of the Astros for hopefully the rest of your career.
Bagwell: "Great. Six years is not ridiculous at all. How much are we talking here?"
Astros: "We're prepared to offer you a contract for $64.5 million."
Bagwell: "Holy shit."
Astros: "Yeah, we know. We know. Anyways, you're a model player, and you've always been about the team...how would you feel about us backloading it? For example, the first year, you'll make the $6.5M that you've made the last couple of seasons. And it will ramp up from there, accumulating in a sweet $18 million in 2006. This way, we can keep much of your salary off the books over the next few years so we can build a contender for the World Series."
Bagwell: "I have no problem doing that. I know that you guys are honest, and will honor that contract. I think we have a deal."
Astros: [In Mr. Burns' voice] "Excellent."
2006:
Astros: "Jeff, we're calling you disabled so we can collect $16 million in insurance. Don't you fucking even think about trying to play baseball this year."
Bagwell: "But, I thought that you said you would honor..."
Astros: "Shut the fuck up, you malcontent. Now go retire. Mmuwaha ha ha ha!!!!"
Sweet organization, Mayfield.
Astros: "Alright, Jeff, here's what we're going to offer you."
Jeff Bagwell: "Let's hear it, Astros."
Astros: "We're going to offer you a ridiculous contract. We want you as the face of this organization. So we're prepared to offer you a six-year extention, here in 2001, so you will continue to be the face of the Astros for hopefully the rest of your career.
Bagwell: "Great. Six years is not ridiculous at all. How much are we talking here?"
Astros: "We're prepared to offer you a contract for $64.5 million."
Bagwell: "Holy shit."
Astros: "Yeah, we know. We know. Anyways, you're a model player, and you've always been about the team...how would you feel about us backloading it? For example, the first year, you'll make the $6.5M that you've made the last couple of seasons. And it will ramp up from there, accumulating in a sweet $18 million in 2006. This way, we can keep much of your salary off the books over the next few years so we can build a contender for the World Series."
Bagwell: "I have no problem doing that. I know that you guys are honest, and will honor that contract. I think we have a deal."
Astros: [In Mr. Burns' voice] "Excellent."
2006:
Astros: "Jeff, we're calling you disabled so we can collect $16 million in insurance. Don't you fucking even think about trying to play baseball this year."
Bagwell: "But, I thought that you said you would honor..."
Astros: "Shut the fuck up, you malcontent. Now go retire. Mmuwaha ha ha ha!!!!"
Sweet organization, Mayfield.
Friday, January 27, 2006
NU Basketball woes
Thursday, January 26, 2006
NCAA Baseball O6
I'm going to buy this game when I get off, has anyone played it yet?
To everyone but specifically EZT: How are our boys ranked 10th? To me, it looks pretty obvious that we have some serious lineup concerns and not much depth at pitching. Are there some players I'm not aware of? Lack of talent across the board in the NCAAs? Too much respect given to our returning position players? Is starting pitching THAT important? Or are these voters way off base?
Let me know what everyone thinks about NU baseball this season.
To everyone but specifically EZT: How are our boys ranked 10th? To me, it looks pretty obvious that we have some serious lineup concerns and not much depth at pitching. Are there some players I'm not aware of? Lack of talent across the board in the NCAAs? Too much respect given to our returning position players? Is starting pitching THAT important? Or are these voters way off base?
Let me know what everyone thinks about NU baseball this season.
2006 & 2007 Husker Schedule
They're finalized. Here you go:
2006
Sept. 2 Louisiana Tech
Sept. 9 Nicholls State
Sept. 16 at USC
Sept. 23 Troy
Sept. 30 Kansas
Oct. 7 at Iowa State
Oct. 14 at Kansas State
Oct. 21 Texas
Oct. 28 at Oklahoma State
Nov. 4 Missouri
Nov. 11 at Texas A&M
Nov. 24 Colorado
2007
Sept. 1 Nevada
Sept. 8 at Wake Forest
Sept. 15 USC
Sept. 22 Ball State
Sept. 29 Iowa State
Oct. 6 at Missouri
Oct. 13 Oklahoma State
Oct. 20 Texas A&M
Oct. 27 at Texas
Nov. 3 at Kansas
Nov. 10 Kansas State
Nov. 23 at Colorado
What do you think?
2006
Sept. 2 Louisiana Tech
Sept. 9 Nicholls State
Sept. 16 at USC
Sept. 23 Troy
Sept. 30 Kansas
Oct. 7 at Iowa State
Oct. 14 at Kansas State
Oct. 21 Texas
Oct. 28 at Oklahoma State
Nov. 4 Missouri
Nov. 11 at Texas A&M
Nov. 24 Colorado
2007
Sept. 1 Nevada
Sept. 8 at Wake Forest
Sept. 15 USC
Sept. 22 Ball State
Sept. 29 Iowa State
Oct. 6 at Missouri
Oct. 13 Oklahoma State
Oct. 20 Texas A&M
Oct. 27 at Texas
Nov. 3 at Kansas
Nov. 10 Kansas State
Nov. 23 at Colorado
What do you think?
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
New Favorite Cub?
The Heckler currently has an interview up with Cubs' closer Ryan Dempster. I had heard before that he is a pretty cool guy from anywhere in stories by Phil Rogers of the Chicago Tribune to internet message board postings by people that have met him and said how cool of a guy he is. However, he probably made the leap after reading this little gem in the interview:
"I can quote the whole movie "UHF" starring Weird Al Yankovic."
That one's for you, Pete. Some other great quotes:
--Responding to Phil Roger's comment in a story that Dempster is "always available and frequently hilarious": "It's more like 'frequently available and always hilarious.'"
--"If I'm out in a restaurant, I don't mind being approached by people, but if I'm shoving a forkful of pasta in my mouth, I don't want someone coming over and asking for an autograph. I do like that every time I go to a bar they buy me drinks. I hope they continue to do that."
--Referring to a prank he played on RP Will Ohman: "That one was pretty good. Whoever tries to get me next, I'm going to take out a billboard ad near Wrigley and put up their home number, cell number and picture that says 'call me anytime.' That's going to be my next one. "
--"...technically I wasn't streaking--I served cookies in an apron, only an apron."
"I can quote the whole movie "UHF" starring Weird Al Yankovic."
That one's for you, Pete. Some other great quotes:
--Responding to Phil Roger's comment in a story that Dempster is "always available and frequently hilarious": "It's more like 'frequently available and always hilarious.'"
--"If I'm out in a restaurant, I don't mind being approached by people, but if I'm shoving a forkful of pasta in my mouth, I don't want someone coming over and asking for an autograph. I do like that every time I go to a bar they buy me drinks. I hope they continue to do that."
--Referring to a prank he played on RP Will Ohman: "That one was pretty good. Whoever tries to get me next, I'm going to take out a billboard ad near Wrigley and put up their home number, cell number and picture that says 'call me anytime.' That's going to be my next one. "
--"...technically I wasn't streaking--I served cookies in an apron, only an apron."
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Great article
It turns out 35.5 Million Americans can be Wrong.
So I was reading an article calling the hosts of American Idol on Fox homophobic, because apparently there were some questionable comments. Well, I don't know if they are homophobic or not, but they do suck. What really struck me in the article was that 35.5 million Americans were watching the show. 35.5 million. Seriously, what the fuck?
Tonight
If anyone is interested, I might catch a couple of beers this evening at 6 to watch Kentucky play at Auburn. Let me know.
Monday, January 23, 2006
The Great Whale-a-thon
Put this date down in your planners: March 2nd, 2006. That is the date when MIB and I are going to have a swim off in the 50m free. The time: 6pm The place: Prairie Life Center at 84th and Q. Pete, feel free to set the line.
Few Thoughts....
1. I just noticed that we are aobut to have our one year anniversary of Heavy Soul. To all of us who have helped make it a sporadic and moderate success, we should give ourselves a pat on the back. Also, feel free to check out the archives and think about if we have achieved any of the ambitious goals we laid out for ourselves last year. I know that I for one can say that I have done a subpar job of working on Hosewater, our independent film about the drinking and bottling of hosewater.
2. I apologize for my recent lack of posting. I also apologize to everyone who hasn't gotten any e-mails from me lately (basically everyone). I need to start working less.
3. On Saturday night I went out and only had 6 or 8 beers. I don't know if any of you have tried this recently, but I was so productive on Sunday it was almost scary.
4. I just finally got around to picking up the live Wilco CD. It totally kicks ass. This shouldn't surprise me because they are awesome in concert. My only complaint is that the disc is culled from a 4 night stand of concerts. So not only am I bitter about missing the shows (they were about a mile from my apartment, but I was busy that week, I usually prefer live cds that just go through one concert. I feel like going back into the studio and mixing and matching up the concerts takes away some of the street cred of the live disc. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I feel it cheapens it a bit.
5. The new shoe Love Monkey is formulaic, predictable and it's going to be great. Except anyone who watched the pilot, like me, may have been disappointed by how much the new up and coming artist resembles John Mayer. It could make me actually begin to hate the show.
6. The Heavy Soul golf tourney is such a great idea I'm almost getting giddy just thinking about it.
2. I apologize for my recent lack of posting. I also apologize to everyone who hasn't gotten any e-mails from me lately (basically everyone). I need to start working less.
3. On Saturday night I went out and only had 6 or 8 beers. I don't know if any of you have tried this recently, but I was so productive on Sunday it was almost scary.
4. I just finally got around to picking up the live Wilco CD. It totally kicks ass. This shouldn't surprise me because they are awesome in concert. My only complaint is that the disc is culled from a 4 night stand of concerts. So not only am I bitter about missing the shows (they were about a mile from my apartment, but I was busy that week, I usually prefer live cds that just go through one concert. I feel like going back into the studio and mixing and matching up the concerts takes away some of the street cred of the live disc. I don't know, maybe it's just me but I feel it cheapens it a bit.
5. The new shoe Love Monkey is formulaic, predictable and it's going to be great. Except anyone who watched the pilot, like me, may have been disappointed by how much the new up and coming artist resembles John Mayer. It could make me actually begin to hate the show.
6. The Heavy Soul golf tourney is such a great idea I'm almost getting giddy just thinking about it.
Good times
Big Boi, you are carrying this blog today. Kudos.
I was just wondering how everyone felt about the gigantic lake proposed last week between Lincoln and Omaha.
I was just wondering how everyone felt about the gigantic lake proposed last week between Lincoln and Omaha.
My Dream Golf-off
Ok, so I'm posting for the third time today. That's right third time. Big wup. So what? Wanna fight about it? But I came up with a fantastic idea for a golf tournament.
First round: 18 holes of regular golf (nothing ingenious so far).
Second round: 18 holes of Tiger Woods 2006
Third round: 18 holes of regular golf
Fourth round: Head to a bar and play a final round of Golden Tee
Any takers?
Addition: We could call it the Heavy Soul Championship and give out an orange blazer to the winner since GA decided orange was going to be the over riding color of the blog.
First round: 18 holes of regular golf (nothing ingenious so far).
Second round: 18 holes of Tiger Woods 2006
Third round: 18 holes of regular golf
Fourth round: Head to a bar and play a final round of Golden Tee
Any takers?
Addition: We could call it the Heavy Soul Championship and give out an orange blazer to the winner since GA decided orange was going to be the over riding color of the blog.
Chessboxing
I don't know if you guys saw this on the Intern's links last week, but the 1st world championship of chess boxing was held somewhere in Europe (Amsterdam, I think). There are six rounds of chess and five rounds of boxing, alternating chess then boxing until the last round of chess (here's the link: http://site.wcbo.org/content/e381/e385/index_en.html ).
Alright, let's think of other board games that would be funny as hell paired with a sport. Several of my ideas are:
Hungry, Hungry Hippos - Big Game Hunting (Play the game, kill a hippo)
Sorry! - 800 m. relay (You can't run until your piece is safe)
Chutes and Ladders - Luge (If you fall down a chute, you have to finish a luge run before its your turn again or you have to start all over at the begining)
Any other ideas?
Alright, let's think of other board games that would be funny as hell paired with a sport. Several of my ideas are:
Hungry, Hungry Hippos - Big Game Hunting (Play the game, kill a hippo)
Sorry! - 800 m. relay (You can't run until your piece is safe)
Chutes and Ladders - Luge (If you fall down a chute, you have to finish a luge run before its your turn again or you have to start all over at the begining)
Any other ideas?
Plummer and Scott
This just wasn't your weekend TJ, huh? First the Hoyas take down Duke and then Plummer takes down the Broncos. It was pretty funny watching Plummer's face over the course of the game and how it became more and more bewildered. Of course, now ESPN is trashing Plummer even though they praised him throughout the regular season. You had to know sooner or later the real Jake Plummer was going to show up and destroy a great season with one game. The ESPN guys act like they knew it, even though they actually had long arguments last week about who was the better quarterback, Plummer or Roethlisberger. Speaking of ESPN:
I'm really starting to hate the sports leader, and if Stu Scott gets another Sports Center this week, I might cut off an ear in frustration. He went through the entire "Kobe scored the second most points in history" page like four times at the beginning of last night's broadcast. Great, Kobe scored 81 (against Toronto!) just show me some highlights, not some page over and over that lists how many times Chamberlain scored 63 and what Kobe's field goal percentage was. And Stu, please don't add you're in there how just seeing 46 attempts makes you tired or my "my boys got mad skills," it makes you look like more of an idiot than usual. In fact, Stu made Steve Levy (DOG!) look like an idiot just by sitting next to him. Aside from Stu, what does Kobe scoring 81 actually mean? Nothing. He didn't break any records, Wilt still had 100. It just shows that the Lakers are so bad they need him to take 46 shots in order to win against a team that's 13 games below .500. But at least the lake show is winning.
I'm really starting to hate the sports leader, and if Stu Scott gets another Sports Center this week, I might cut off an ear in frustration. He went through the entire "Kobe scored the second most points in history" page like four times at the beginning of last night's broadcast. Great, Kobe scored 81 (against Toronto!) just show me some highlights, not some page over and over that lists how many times Chamberlain scored 63 and what Kobe's field goal percentage was. And Stu, please don't add you're in there how just seeing 46 attempts makes you tired or my "my boys got mad skills," it makes you look like more of an idiot than usual. In fact, Stu made Steve Levy (DOG!) look like an idiot just by sitting next to him. Aside from Stu, what does Kobe scoring 81 actually mean? Nothing. He didn't break any records, Wilt still had 100. It just shows that the Lakers are so bad they need him to take 46 shots in order to win against a team that's 13 games below .500. But at least the lake show is winning.
Friday, January 20, 2006
What the duece???!!!!???
Where the hell is everybody at? I quit my goddamned job today, and have nothing to do, and everyone avoids the blog? Well, piss off! I'm leaving.
Like I have always said...
...the guy is a bum. Nice to have the one guy everyone thinks of when they think of "Duke" be this rat-bastard, huh TJ?
And yes, it makes me giddy that the lawsuit is being brought by a Lexington-based company. And on the flip-side of this, yes, it bothers me that any respectable Lexington-based company would give Christian Laettner anything other than a swift kick to the ass.
The man who broke the hearts of UK basketball fans with perhaps the most famous last-second shot in college basketball history is being sued by a Lexington-based business.
Last November, Christian Laettner borrowed $375,000 from The Branch Banking and Trust Company, or BB&T. Laettner signed a promissory note agreeing to make nine monthly payments, but he has failed to make the first, a January payment in the amount of about $41,000, causing the currently un-signed NBA player to default.
And yes, it makes me giddy that the lawsuit is being brought by a Lexington-based company. And on the flip-side of this, yes, it bothers me that any respectable Lexington-based company would give Christian Laettner anything other than a swift kick to the ass.
The man who broke the hearts of UK basketball fans with perhaps the most famous last-second shot in college basketball history is being sued by a Lexington-based business.
Last November, Christian Laettner borrowed $375,000 from The Branch Banking and Trust Company, or BB&T. Laettner signed a promissory note agreeing to make nine monthly payments, but he has failed to make the first, a January payment in the amount of about $41,000, causing the currently un-signed NBA player to default.
See ya, Sprint!
Today is the final day of my reign on Sprint--I know that there are several websites that are going to miss their 10,000 hits a day from a Sprint IP address, and I know that Sprint's stocks will come tumbling any day now, but all should be alright.
Uh...that's it. Today's my last day. Good times!
Thursday, January 19, 2006
From the guys who brought your the Narnia rap...
Check out www.thelonelyisland.com. There are several short films on here, and so far, they are hilarious--particularly the "Nintendo" short.
Damn, Delusional
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
How do I follow up that last post?
Seriously. How about with a site that finds new artists specific to the sound of music you like? Delusional KC Fan told me there was a site where you could search for songs based on the genre of music you enjoy, but I have found a site that goes further into detail with the songs. For instance, I told the search engine that I like Dispatch and they found songs by some big name groups as well as no-names that matched to Dispatch based on the fact that both "featured folk roots, mild rhythmic syncopation, acoustic sonority, extensive vamping, vocal harmony, and major key tonality." It then creates a "radio station" based solely on the music stylings--not the genre. Trust me, this site is worth the time experimenting with. I'm sure within a day or two there will be a permanent link for this on the side of the webpage, but until then, here it is. It's called Pandora. I hope to hear about all the new groups we have stumbled across.
I know this isn't the place...
But I think I have a/multiple hemorrhoids.
"Are you sure, MIB?" you ask.
"No. I'm not sure, but methinks it is so."
"Have you had it checked out?"
"No."
"Are you going to?"
"Probably not. As much as I like to get naked, I'm not sure how to get psyched to have some old dude tickle my prostate. "
"You're weird."
"I know. And I might have hemorrhoids."
The End
"Are you sure, MIB?" you ask.
"No. I'm not sure, but methinks it is so."
"Have you had it checked out?"
"No."
"Are you going to?"
"Probably not. As much as I like to get naked, I'm not sure how to get psyched to have some old dude tickle my prostate. "
"You're weird."
"I know. And I might have hemorrhoids."
The End
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
OK, assholes
John Mayer was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night, as the main guest and musical guest. I don't know where you could find it on the web, but if you guys watch this interview, he is hilarious. He was just talking about how his mom still gives him cash for Christmas, and how it is implied that there are certain ways to spend it--i.e., "this money is not to be used for hookers." He also brought a remote-controlled, animated monkey to the set.
I don't care how much you want to make fun of me, that shit is funny.
Then, they do a skit, where a tabloid show gets a tape recording of Mayer calling into a chat line:
Chat: Co-Ed Fever. This is Candy. Who is this?
Mayer: Eh John..son. It's Johnson. Jack Johnson. It's Jack Johnson calling.
Chat: Oh my God! The Singer?
Mayer: Oh no, I'm the boxer. The old boxer.
Chat: Isn't he dead?
Mayer: Yeah he is. Anyway, um, I want you to bite the tip of my **** while you cinch my balls off with a fire-wire cable. And then, if we laid on a drop cloth I was thinking maybe you could hover over me and **** straight into my mouth. Is that possible?
*Chat person hangs up*
Try as you might...that is funny.
And yes, my last week at work is going great.
I don't care how much you want to make fun of me, that shit is funny.
Then, they do a skit, where a tabloid show gets a tape recording of Mayer calling into a chat line:
Chat: Co-Ed Fever. This is Candy. Who is this?
Mayer: Eh John..son. It's Johnson. Jack Johnson. It's Jack Johnson calling.
Chat: Oh my God! The Singer?
Mayer: Oh no, I'm the boxer. The old boxer.
Chat: Isn't he dead?
Mayer: Yeah he is. Anyway, um, I want you to bite the tip of my **** while you cinch my balls off with a fire-wire cable. And then, if we laid on a drop cloth I was thinking maybe you could hover over me and **** straight into my mouth. Is that possible?
*Chat person hangs up*
Try as you might...that is funny.
And yes, my last week at work is going great.
Husker Hoops
I realize that very few of you give a rats ass about the Husker Basketball program but i still think it's blog worthy. Sambuca and I have been discussing it a lot today so i thought i reach out for some other opinions.
I have been following the Husker Hoopsters long enough to realize that tonight is normally the night that they ruin any hope i have for them. It always seems like they get off to a good start and than lose a game that they need to win to keep momentum. This Husker team struggles mightly on offense but has been playing very good defense. Especially since Barry started playing some trapping defenses and mixing in some zone. If they can beat the Clones tonight they are sitting really pretty and dare I say...might be setting themselves up for a tourney run? Lose tonight though and toss the 2-0 start out the window and watch this team flush themselves down the stretch.
I've just been let down to many times by Barry led teams...i'm pretty much expecting us to lay an egg tonight. Hope they prove me wrong.
I have been following the Husker Hoopsters long enough to realize that tonight is normally the night that they ruin any hope i have for them. It always seems like they get off to a good start and than lose a game that they need to win to keep momentum. This Husker team struggles mightly on offense but has been playing very good defense. Especially since Barry started playing some trapping defenses and mixing in some zone. If they can beat the Clones tonight they are sitting really pretty and dare I say...might be setting themselves up for a tourney run? Lose tonight though and toss the 2-0 start out the window and watch this team flush themselves down the stretch.
I've just been let down to many times by Barry led teams...i'm pretty much expecting us to lay an egg tonight. Hope they prove me wrong.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Jan. 18th
MVP NCAA '06 will be released. And from the early reviews it sounds like it will be phenomenal.
EA completely changed the way you hit in baseball games. It will be real similar to Tiger Woods Golf, and here is how the new batting system will work as told by IGN.com
"As the pitcher is about to release the ball, pull down on the right-analog stick to load your swing, shifting your weight back and coiling like a spring. As the pitch enters your swing zone, fire the stick up to take a hack. Aim left or right to pull or go opposite field; hold the L trigger for power swing or R trigger for contact swing. "
The coolest part is that if you take a bad cut and for instance get jammed your controller will vibrate simulating the sting a batter would receive in their hands. And vice versa, if you crush a ball you know it is gone instantly by the feel of the controller.
Plus the Blatt looks so realistic I'm pretty sure I saw Welch drunk in the stands in one of the screen shots.
For some reason that posted twice
Friday, January 13, 2006
Heellllllooooooo?
It is Friday, bitches. There needs to be some blogging. I put up the single greatest moment of theatre in the history of the world, and no one comments on it? No one puts up a post of their own?
Come on, now! SOME people don't have shit to do the next week, and would LIKE some entertainment!
Come on, now! SOME people don't have shit to do the next week, and would LIKE some entertainment!
Mike Tyson's Punchout--LIVE!
Yet another post, taken directly from another website. Thanks, Deadspin (who actually got it from The Intern).
http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=1304
This is truly remarkable. Mike Tyson's Punchout, acted out by a bunch of jackasses on stage, with a live band and all. It is totally hilarious, but what makes completely classic is just how well they have the whole thing down with the actions of the boxers, what music plays when a boxer is down, etc.
Seriously, this might be the best Friday-bored-at-work video ever.
http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=1304
This is truly remarkable. Mike Tyson's Punchout, acted out by a bunch of jackasses on stage, with a live band and all. It is totally hilarious, but what makes completely classic is just how well they have the whole thing down with the actions of the boxers, what music plays when a boxer is down, etc.
Seriously, this might be the best Friday-bored-at-work video ever.
Holy Night Terrors Batman
So I went to see Hostel with my sister tonight. FUCKED UP! If you like horror movies, then you'll probably like this. If you like soft core porn, you'll probably like it. If you plan on backpacking around Europe any time soon, you will not like this and you will cancel your trip five seconds after the movie gets over. They really didn't shy away from showing every act of violence in this flick. Here's what the writer must have been thinking while writing the screenplay:
"You know, I've never seen a middle toe get taken off by some bolt cutters...that would be cool. OH! Use an electric drill to puncture some unsuspecting dude's joints, awesome. Maybe we should take a blow torch to that Asian chick's eye, even better. Hey honey, do you think we could get away with showing some 8 year olds bash in two dudes' heads with rocks and pick axes? I thought so too. Now, how do we balance all of that bloodshed out? I know, lets have the protagonists have sex with girls who are so hot they couldn't actually exist. Perfect."
If you think I gave too much away there, I didn't even scratch the surface. I would definitely rate this as one of the top five horror movies I've seen. So go see Hostel, but don't eat for about three hours beforehand, just in case.
"You know, I've never seen a middle toe get taken off by some bolt cutters...that would be cool. OH! Use an electric drill to puncture some unsuspecting dude's joints, awesome. Maybe we should take a blow torch to that Asian chick's eye, even better. Hey honey, do you think we could get away with showing some 8 year olds bash in two dudes' heads with rocks and pick axes? I thought so too. Now, how do we balance all of that bloodshed out? I know, lets have the protagonists have sex with girls who are so hot they couldn't actually exist. Perfect."
If you think I gave too much away there, I didn't even scratch the surface. I would definitely rate this as one of the top five horror movies I've seen. So go see Hostel, but don't eat for about three hours beforehand, just in case.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
A couple days too late, but hilarious all the same
Corey Patterson was traded for a bag of smashed assholes this week to the O's (what is their marketing angle in Baltimore? "Come see a really unhappy former MVP who might have been on steriods and some under-performing assholes from the Cubs--who each in their own right somehow made that sorry excuse for a franchise worse--that we inexplicitly trade for every year!).
Before that, though, The Heckler put up these other potential trade partners and their offers for ol' C-Pat.
Top 10 Corey Patterson trade proposals
The Daily Heckle, Saturday, January 7, 2006
10) Milwaukee Brewers – a case of Miller High Life and sausage to be named later
9) St. Louis Cardinals – Gimpy, the lame Clydesdale that never pulls his share
8) New York Mets – Mr. Met and some cigarettes
7) Maine East High School – A bucket of old batting practice balls and a tubby .215-hitting freshman catcher
6) Baltimore Orioles – Sammy Sosa's leftover corked bats
5) Detroit Tigers – Kyle Farnsworth's leftover little black book
4) L.A. Angels of Anaheim – Two or three Molina brothers
3) White Sox – Paul Konerko's half-gallon bottle of ice blue Aqua Velva
2) Cleveland Indians – "Wild Thing" Ricky Vaughn and Willie Mays Hayes
1) San Francisco Giants – Three of those kayak dudes from McCovey Cove
Before that, though, The Heckler put up these other potential trade partners and their offers for ol' C-Pat.
Top 10 Corey Patterson trade proposals
The Daily Heckle, Saturday, January 7, 2006
10) Milwaukee Brewers – a case of Miller High Life and sausage to be named later
9) St. Louis Cardinals – Gimpy, the lame Clydesdale that never pulls his share
8) New York Mets – Mr. Met and some cigarettes
7) Maine East High School – A bucket of old batting practice balls and a tubby .215-hitting freshman catcher
6) Baltimore Orioles – Sammy Sosa's leftover corked bats
5) Detroit Tigers – Kyle Farnsworth's leftover little black book
4) L.A. Angels of Anaheim – Two or three Molina brothers
3) White Sox – Paul Konerko's half-gallon bottle of ice blue Aqua Velva
2) Cleveland Indians – "Wild Thing" Ricky Vaughn and Willie Mays Hayes
1) San Francisco Giants – Three of those kayak dudes from McCovey Cove
Is there a good possible way to take this.
While picking up lunch today I ran into a former account rep, now sales manager here at work (we will call him Randy.) In the past I really rarely worked to much with Randy, but when I have it has always gone smoothly and he has always been a likeable guy. Anyway after talking about each other holiday break he asked me if I knew a Jon Doe. I racked my brain trying to place the name, I knew that in Randy former life as a account rep he primarily work with Fuel/Parking merchants, and one particular auth vendor, but Jon Doe was not ringing a bell. So I asked where would I know him from. . .Without batting a eye he said that Jon Doe was a bartender at Barrett's and has applied for one of Randy's open sales positions.
Ladies and Gentleman Delusional KC Fan has now become my division degenerate, anyone up for drinks tonight.
As a FYI I went straight to Pete for a answer on if Jon Doe was a good guy.
Ladies and Gentleman Delusional KC Fan has now become my division degenerate, anyone up for drinks tonight.
As a FYI I went straight to Pete for a answer on if Jon Doe was a good guy.
The Times, They Are A-Changin'
Friends, we have many times wondered if this time would ever come. We wondered, "how do we (I) get away with this?" Well, our answer comeith. I just received this e-mail, from our friends at ESPN:
From: ESPN InsiderReply-To: memberservices@espn.go.comTo: ***********@hotmail.com
Subject: Your ESPN Insider Account Security
Date: Tue, 10 Jan 2006 23:14:42 -0800 (PST)
Dear Michael,
Our records indicate that there is an unusually high number of clients accessing Insider using your subscription account. To prevent unauthorized use, we have locked your account to require a password change before your next access to Insider.
To protect your account from unauthorized access, please do not share your new password with others.
PLEASE NOTE - If our system shows that your password has been locked out in excess of five times, we reserve the right to revoke your Insider access without refund in accordance with the Insider Member Service Agreement.
">https://r.espn.go.com/espn/memberservices/page?contentId=2214217>
In order to reset your password, please visit the following page>and fill out the password reset form using the key provided below.
So there it is. np gage, if you would kindly let the 50 people in your office know that they are going to have to pony up their own $5 a month for ESPN Insider, I would appreciate it. Along with the other 100 people across the country that I have never seen, let alone met, using it.
The man continues to keep us down.
From: ESPN Insider
Subject: Your ESPN Insider Account Security
Date: Tue, 10 Jan 2006 23:14:42 -0800 (PST)
Dear Michael,
Our records indicate that there is an unusually high number of clients accessing Insider using your subscription account. To prevent unauthorized use, we have locked your account to require a password change before your next access to Insider.
To protect your account from unauthorized access, please do not share your new password with others.
PLEASE NOTE - If our system shows that your password has been locked out in excess of five times, we reserve the right to revoke your Insider access without refund in accordance with the Insider Member Service Agreement.
">https://r.espn.go.com/espn/memberservices/page?contentId=2214217>
In order to reset your password, please visit the following page>and fill out the password reset form using the key provided below.
So there it is. np gage, if you would kindly let the 50 people in your office know that they are going to have to pony up their own $5 a month for ESPN Insider, I would appreciate it. Along with the other 100 people across the country that I have never seen, let alone met, using it.
The man continues to keep us down.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Holy Oklahoma State!
Good Lord, did anyone else see this?
Some billionaire gave OSU $165 MILLION TO THEIR ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT!
Maybe ol' Stevie P. needs to go take some fundraising classes.
In other news, congrats to former Cub reliever Bruce Sutter for making the Hall of Fame! The Hawk got 317, which was good enough to come in fourth in balloting, but well short of the 390 needed to get in. Bullshit, if you ask me.
Some billionaire gave OSU $165 MILLION TO THEIR ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT!
Maybe ol' Stevie P. needs to go take some fundraising classes.
In other news, congrats to former Cub reliever Bruce Sutter for making the Hall of Fame! The Hawk got 317, which was good enough to come in fourth in balloting, but well short of the 390 needed to get in. Bullshit, if you ask me.
Big Boi...
Good luck on the interview. Let us know how it went.
Our little guy is all growns up!
Our little guy is all growns up!
here's another one...
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/01/10/mummifed.body.ap/index.html
I am continually suprised by the amount freaks that live in this country
I am continually suprised by the amount freaks that live in this country
2006
Is there anyone out there that is have a worse 2006 than Marcus Vick. This fall from grace almost rivals River City Falls great Chris Haron
Monday, January 09, 2006
How Long
How long before a story like this happens to Big Boi or MIB
Quest Center Omaha
There is a lot to be said about the Quest Center Omaha. Beings that I spent a good part of my weekend there (Saturday Hockey, Sunday Basketball) I wanted to point out some things that were discussed. Starting out, the Quest Center dress code for the ticket takers is a suit, that seams a little excessive, but I enjoy it. Moments after entering there is a beer vendor who offers 24 oz old school beers (i.e. Hamm, Old Style, Old Mil, Schlitz) with a selling point of Free Beer. . .Tomorrow. Along the lines of alcohol, I am struggling to find a drink that they do not offer, and that is because they have two full service bars. The food I would rate at a good solid 8.5 of course there are the basics with hotdogs, hamburgers and such, but they also offer Omaha Steak Sandwiches, a quality basket of chicken fingers and garlic fries, a money Gyros stand, and average pizza which are all moderately priced around $5. Since this was built realizing that the majority of the Omaha is taller than five feet and weight more then 125 lbs (see CWS seating) you can watch a game and still be moderately comfortable (bonus points for cup holders.) As for what it has done to Omaha, it is still just scratching the surface, the Quest center last year had something like the sixth or seventh high attendance in concerts, and the big names are making a stop now(Stones, McCarney, DMB, Coldplay, Diomond.) They are also pulling anything from 10-15K per basketball game and I would guess 7-10K for Hockey. This summer they are bringing in the Swimming Olympic Trials (which maybe interesting) as well at the final four for Volleyball, and 2007 has the first round of March Madness. If only the convention center side could pick it up, but I would say that is a much tougher industry to compete in.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
A return of after hours
Update on my quest for moderation:
After holding out for most of the week, I hit a weak patch called GA Hill, Pete, and Hales. Five minutes into the Old Dundee, I was on my second RB &V. Not long after GA arrived, a round of car bombs were emptied into our gullets. Fearing our blood alcohol content was not sufficient, we traversed to the Gables Condominiums for some good ol' fashioned after hours.
Due to an unexpected visit from DeNephew, a continent and a linebacker, an emergency house clean occurred. So we drink for a couple of hours more and then a brilliant idea hits us: Let's revise our "Who Would You Do?" list from our senior yearbook. Scary. I thought I would bang a lot of the girls when I was in high school. My number may have doubled.
3:16 am. Let's call Katherine Barksdale now. Had to get her number from Meagan Rama. When we called, her boyfriend of six years answered. Annoyed. We kept her up for about half an hour. She hung up annoyed as well. It's great to keep in touch with long lost friends.
The beer ran out. So we drank some champagne.
Who else can we wake up? Nobody? Well, we may as well call my brother in Australia. Can't wait for those charges to show up on my next bill.
In conclusion, after hours are great.
After holding out for most of the week, I hit a weak patch called GA Hill, Pete, and Hales. Five minutes into the Old Dundee, I was on my second RB &V. Not long after GA arrived, a round of car bombs were emptied into our gullets. Fearing our blood alcohol content was not sufficient, we traversed to the Gables Condominiums for some good ol' fashioned after hours.
Due to an unexpected visit from DeNephew, a continent and a linebacker, an emergency house clean occurred. So we drink for a couple of hours more and then a brilliant idea hits us: Let's revise our "Who Would You Do?" list from our senior yearbook. Scary. I thought I would bang a lot of the girls when I was in high school. My number may have doubled.
3:16 am. Let's call Katherine Barksdale now. Had to get her number from Meagan Rama. When we called, her boyfriend of six years answered. Annoyed. We kept her up for about half an hour. She hung up annoyed as well. It's great to keep in touch with long lost friends.
The beer ran out. So we drank some champagne.
Who else can we wake up? Nobody? Well, we may as well call my brother in Australia. Can't wait for those charges to show up on my next bill.
In conclusion, after hours are great.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Great stuff...
Who wants to...
...quit their job today???
I do! Wait, I did!
Now, I just need to figure out where I am going to work after this.
I do! Wait, I did!
Now, I just need to figure out where I am going to work after this.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Good game, eh?
Looked USC had it wrapped up. They didn't. Vince Young made my stepdad cry by saying he was coming back. Did anyone catch Wolf Parade on Craig Ferguson. They did a fair amount of ruling.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
good question for the Soulers...
Who are the best 3 coaches in college football today?
Our good buddy Andrew Dick and i have been emailing about this today so i thought i would spread it to the blog...he posed the question and than answered with
Pete Carrol
Charlie Weis
???
My rank...
Pete Carrol
Bob Stoops (hate the bastard)
Steve Spurrier
yours???
Our good buddy Andrew Dick and i have been emailing about this today so i thought i would spread it to the blog...he posed the question and than answered with
Pete Carrol
Charlie Weis
???
My rank...
Pete Carrol
Bob Stoops (hate the bastard)
Steve Spurrier
yours???
USC vs. Texas
I know that this has alread been brought up by el Big Boi, but I have a different angle.
USC is favored by 7.5 points tonight! I thought the spread was 3.5 earlier. Anyways, who would you bet on?
USC is favored by 7.5 points tonight! I thought the spread was 3.5 earlier. Anyways, who would you bet on?
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
NYE Resolutions
Now that we've reached the New Year...we can all sit around and say we'll work less, drink less, exercise more, stop smoking, etc. In a way, I almost find it depresssing thinking about all the faults I have and claiming that I will change before reverting again, as per usual. So this year I'm making the following resolutions. They should not be too hard to achieve (for example, I won't claim that I'm not going to make out with a larger lady in 2006, because we all know that I will).
1. Post more on the blog. I think we all get caught in the trap of trying to find something to clever or original to post, when we should just be posting. If I like a cd, and 99% of my friends haven't heard it (but the 1% who have all post on this blog), I should write about it. I can endure the comments of "I liked their first cd better" and "I've had that for a while now."
2. Join spinning class
3. Go on a date arranged on-line (once I've trimmed down after some time in spinning class)
(Editor's Note: 2 and 3 are in the hopes of finding something clever to write)
Additionally, I will probably never go through with #3 for fear of someone seeing my profile on-line.
So what are your resolutions?
1. Post more on the blog. I think we all get caught in the trap of trying to find something to clever or original to post, when we should just be posting. If I like a cd, and 99% of my friends haven't heard it (but the 1% who have all post on this blog), I should write about it. I can endure the comments of "I liked their first cd better" and "I've had that for a while now."
2. Join spinning class
3. Go on a date arranged on-line (once I've trimmed down after some time in spinning class)
(Editor's Note: 2 and 3 are in the hopes of finding something clever to write)
Additionally, I will probably never go through with #3 for fear of someone seeing my profile on-line.
So what are your resolutions?
National Championship Game
Who do you guys think is going to win between USC and Texas? I'm going to root for Texas for the first time in my life because I can't stand to see this USC team go down as the greatest in history. We all know the 95 team would have smoked both of these teams. So lets give the disgusting burnt orange some love for the first and only time this century.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Thank you GA Hill
I would like to drop a big thank you Mr. GA Hill. Appearently he realized the his UK rants here on the Heavy Soul Blog were falling on deaf ears and he decided to take it else where.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
An Open Invitation for an Intervention
You are all cordially invited to hold an intervention for me. I think it's about time. In fact, probably overdue.
I know you all. You're creative. Surprise me. Maybe we could do it over lunch someday or maybe after work. Hell, just invite me to have a couple drinks and that'll get me out.
Anyone knows that drinking for nine hours is going to loosen you up a bit. Well, last night, I was looser than one of Paul's ladies.
Most people know that whiskey will get you a bit frisky. Ask Hank, Jr. Worst of all, I know that whiskey gets me a little stupid. Does it stop me from asking for putting a bottle of Single Barrel on my Christmas wish list? Nope.
Most people learn from mistakes by not making them twice. Not me. I'm a red-nosed dummy. A real ninkimpoop. I'd say I make an ass out of myself due to booze at least a couple of times a month. You've all seen it. Makes for good stories.
I'd like to say that it's my style of method acting, but there's not too many open roles calling for loud drunks. It's like saying that you're saving your virginity for marriage, when really you just can't get laid.
So get to planning, Heavy Soulers! I've got a pretty open schedule. I'm flexible. Leave me a message. Send me a text. Write a letter if you want.
I know you all. You're creative. Surprise me. Maybe we could do it over lunch someday or maybe after work. Hell, just invite me to have a couple drinks and that'll get me out.
Anyone knows that drinking for nine hours is going to loosen you up a bit. Well, last night, I was looser than one of Paul's ladies.
Most people know that whiskey will get you a bit frisky. Ask Hank, Jr. Worst of all, I know that whiskey gets me a little stupid. Does it stop me from asking for putting a bottle of Single Barrel on my Christmas wish list? Nope.
Most people learn from mistakes by not making them twice. Not me. I'm a red-nosed dummy. A real ninkimpoop. I'd say I make an ass out of myself due to booze at least a couple of times a month. You've all seen it. Makes for good stories.
I'd like to say that it's my style of method acting, but there's not too many open roles calling for loud drunks. It's like saying that you're saving your virginity for marriage, when really you just can't get laid.
So get to planning, Heavy Soulers! I've got a pretty open schedule. I'm flexible. Leave me a message. Send me a text. Write a letter if you want.
Dumbest thing I have heard this year...so far
Carson Daley was hosting one of the New Years specials last night on TV (yeah I am lame, we didn't do anything last night. Anyway, after the ball dropped he said. "We were so obsessed with celebrity in 2005; I hope we can get away from that in 2006."
This from a guy whose whole career has been defined by celebrities. I got news for you jackass, if it were not for society's obsessions your quote to ring in the new year would have been "Welcome to Hardees would you like to try a triple-thick burger."
And besides what was special about 2005, I pretty mujch think that society has always been obsessed with celebrity.
So, while I was being lame, what were you all doing? Any good new years stories?
This from a guy whose whole career has been defined by celebrities. I got news for you jackass, if it were not for society's obsessions your quote to ring in the new year would have been "Welcome to Hardees would you like to try a triple-thick burger."
And besides what was special about 2005, I pretty mujch think that society has always been obsessed with celebrity.
So, while I was being lame, what were you all doing? Any good new years stories?
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